The Long and Short Goodbye

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Well this is it, my last official night in 10b Kleine Wende, Kleinmachnow. Unofficially due to visa problems and otherwise I'll be back before too long, but that doesn't mean the era hasn't ended. This means that this is essentially my last blog post from my German semester. There's a lot I didn't get to, I suppose there was another entry's worth of material just on the Zauberflöte, which I got to see at the Deutsch Oper courtesy of my program, or just a lot more about Berlin, but I'll have to settle for just having those as memories, and you all can settle for my final thoughts on the matter. Here's a few things I'd change, or would really like to cherish. WARNING: this entry promises to be insufferably sincere, I'm struggling through nausea just to write this out.


Christmas Time In the City

Post Halloween, my little slice of Germany explodes in a vibrant series of Green and Red, Weihnachtszeit has begun. See, there's no holiday dedicated to a solid day of gluttony, football, and occasionally family to break up the time between diabetes day (November 1st) and Christmas; so something like a hundred little Christmas markets pop up like so many little mushroom patches...alcoholic...mushroom..ok that got away from me.

Anyways, these places are sort of how I'd like to see Christmas happen in the future. I guess how I see these playing out is how many German festivities seem to go. Wilder, yet somehow more laid back and fulfilling than we can usually muster in America. Christmas does mean a time for shopping, and certainly there's that. To complete my trip from cynical American to Germanophile I bought a dandy scarf in Potsdam, and there was plenty to entice the eager shopper, at least some of it doubtless mass manufactured somewhere, and at least a few pieces made by the man who owns the stall. On the other hand, what the markets are also for are drinking in the spirit of the season. Well, there's also the literal way of doing that, which is Glühwein (Red Wine, Cinnamon, magical fairy dust), Eierlikör (eggnog for alcoholics), and hot chocolate (with rum). Ah, 'tis the season alright. Generally I'd just say the atmosphere is more genuine. I don't feel like some cyborg is posing as father Christmas and just hoping we won't notice the sparks, which is admittedly what I get in the Natick Mall (excuse me: Collection). Even at its most commercial, in places like Alexanderplatz, which features a rather silly fairground nearby, it's still just a lot of fun. If anyone gets out to Berlin this time of year though, oddly enough I'd love to show them Potsdam's, which was easily the best, and most likely what the locals themselves wanted, of the bunch.

Transportation and Other Perils

I'll admit I used to hate my commute. As I'm sure I've suggested a few times here, and to anyone who would listen after I'd taken a few myself, living in Kleinmachnow meant being a ways from anything. Thirty five minutes by bus, and another ten by train were needed to get to my school, and a minimum of fifty to an hour to get downtown. I guess more accurately I could say I was Berlin adjacent. Of course this only got to be truly exciting late at night. Trying to keep myself from passing out on a train is a fun game, though the consequence for losing means waking up in Wannsee. I suppose it's not a bad part of town, but waking up there meant I was now more than half an hour from home, under the happiest of times. Still, like everything in life eventually you learn to cope.

First I bought a book. Initially it was just what I could nab from my Host brother's shelf, then later it was German Harry Potter. Well that certainly helped, though it didn't stop me from getting a few stories in Zehlendorf (the halfway point) while I was waiting for my once-an-hour night bus. Still, Harry Potter holds its charm, and in a weird way it was exciting for my brain to try and wiggle meaning out of the translation, and to my delight finding out this wasn't impossible.

Then I stopped reading the book. Funnily enough, trains, even ones late at night have a tendency to be packed with people. Same with the busses. Some of them won't even think you're out to murder them or steal a kidney if you say hello. And a rare one or two are open to a conversation. I guess I tried something new these last few weeks, and it certainly changed how I felt about my time here. It's a lot more delightful when you remember we're a social species, and part of me will miss the commute.

Ok, I'll admit that's mostly because it was free to college students (suck it D.C!)

Heimat And a final note has to be said for the chance to come home. Bear in mind this part will be insufferably sentimental, so bear with me. I'm not talking about any returns to the United States, though that's going to be nice too, but really, there was something very final about coming home to my life at 10b Kleine Wende. There was the assurance I could get a wonderful meal, or at least scavenge the remains from one; and that everything was too damned far away to be bothered with. There would be piano music, and while sometimes I think that contributed to the twitch under my left eye (students), other times there was nothing more soothing to me. Sometimes noisy, sometimes chaotic, sometimes frustrating, and most of the time a life at home. I'll never be able to put my finger on what it was, but even if I'd known just how long and how rough the commute would've been, I would never have swapped my life here for time in a student apartment block.

What to change Regret's a pretty healthy thing in small doses, just so long as you don't open the floodgates to it; I think it's important to at least write a line or two about what I'd like to do differently, or would have done if I'd had another shot at this semester (i.e, next semester):

1. A little more preparation. This'd seem simple, but I really think just reading up a little more on Berlin, and more critically on Brandenburg would've been nice. It seems I blinked and the summer passed me by.

2. Persistence. One bad night can ruin a week, and I had more than a few of those early on. Falling asleep in a bank or other deterrents like being too far away from any form of social contact are all it takes to convince yourself that going out isn't worth it. Generally I think I know that's a load of crap now, so taking more chances, both stupid and only somewhat, are going to be critical.

3. Duct tape my passport. To my chest. Or somewhere else where removing it would sting sufficiently. Seriously, it was not worth the pain I went through getting a new one.

4. Pop the bubble. This is the last, and most critical one. Even when life starts going well, it's all too easy just think that everything's dandy. In short, if I find a magical...transport...humdinger that would send me back five months, or a grad school in Germany failing that, I will try and get in contact with anyone in the area. Maybe that would mean joining a club, or maybe just going to a bar and trying (and probably failing) to strike up a conversation. Or maybe it might just take bringing Harry Potter on the Bahn at night. Ultimately, I was in Germany, and sometimes it's easy to forget that when the majority of your friends are Americans. I guess what I'm saying is, in retrospect I should've done more to be out there. At the end of it all, I'll regret that a bit, and then I'll know better for next time.

In short, see you again Berlin, I don't plan on saying goodbye for good.

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Photos

Potsdam
This was sort of the main drag Christmas market, behind us is the cutest photo bombing of all time.

Melke
I think you deserve to see some of the nicer fotos I've got.

Heuriger in Wien
Sure I may look stoned, but I still like what this came from.

A bastard child
Meet the Hofbräuhaus of Berlin, a bastard child of Bayern and Berlin, the oompah band here is ear-shreddingly bad.

d'awww GAH
Sure this used to be a happy goodbye photo, but boy did they jump afterwards...

Comments

[Becky Mezz]

It seems you have learned exactly what all of us who live in other countries for periods of time learn. I can\'t help but smile at this entry. You will definitely know better for next time and honestly, the next time around will most likely be so much better than you ever imagined. Be safe.