(French) Kids say the Darndest Things


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April 14th 2008
Published: April 14th 2008
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Crawford and SqueakCrawford and SqueakCrawford and Squeak

When I was in Atlanta in February, I got to catch up with some fellow FUtone alums!
Well, those of you who enjoy stories about my tri-weekly interactions with French adolescents are in for a treat with this update, as I’ve got plenty of funny anecdotes of precocious pre-teens.

On Thursday at Clermont, the Shakespeare efforts continued with an introduction to the sonnets, followed by further rehearsal time. I had chosen Sonnet 130, “My Mistresses’ Eyes”, since it’s pretty amusing and I didn’t think it would go over my kids heads. It contains the line “If snow be white, why then her breasts are dun”. So I ask if there are any questions about vocabulary, and of course Floristan pipes up “ca veut dire quoi, ‘breasts”? (“what does that mean, ‘breasts?”). Before I have a chance to find the right way to put it, Virgine supplies him with the French translation and then turns to me and asks “but you can also say ‘boobs’, right?” I tried not to die laughing and told her that, while she was technically correct, that probably wouldn’t have been Shakespeare’s preferred term. While they rehearsed their scenes, I tried to magically be 30 places at once to keep them from getting too carried away. Clearly, this is impossible, so while I
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Squeak shows off her photo skills
was in one room, Sammi, Floristan, and Mathieu were drawing on one another’s faces with brown marker in the other. I think they occasionally read some lines from the Tempest, as well…at least I hope. While I was regulating the marker situation, the rest of the kids wrote “We love you Kathryn” on the blackboard, surrounded by hearts and peace signs, and then called me in to see it. I had a very hard time not crying. I already know I haven’t got a prayer for my last day.

Last week at Jeanne d’Albret I had to start saying goodbye to some of my kids, since I don’t see them every week. My 5emes took it especially hard and Pascal, an adorable little 12-year-old who is all chestnut curls and big brown eyes, asked me if it was an “April Fish” that I was leaving. I played games with my 4eme Euros where I passed around a roll of toilet paper and told them to take as many squares as they wanted. Then, I started a story and for each square of paper they had, they had to add a sentence in English. The results were pretty hilarious and
regular ol' FUtonesregular ol' FUtonesregular ol' FUtones

We found a nice bearded biker in the coffee shop to take a decent picture of us
creative. I had warned half my 3eme Euros at Jeanne d’Albret that our next lesson would be the last, and that we’d try to do something fun, and that I’d bring candy. So as I was getting ready to teach the other part of their class today, Adrian shuffles in, looking rather sheepish and scuffing the floor with one shoe. He’s clearly been elected class delegate, as I can see the rest of my kids peering around the door from out in the hall. Not looking me in the eye, he asks “What sort of thing would you like to get as a present?” I grinned at him and told him “If you all keep making progress in English after I leave, that would be a wonderful present”. Not giving up quite so easily, but still scuffing the floor, he persists “but what about, I don’t know, a souvenir from France?” I told him that I had many wonderful memories (“souvenirs” in French), of my time with my students, and that that was plenty. Still, it’s so touching to know that at least some of them will miss me as much as I’ll miss them.

Outside of the classroom, this has also been a fun week. After I finished teaching on Thursday, I cooked an American Tex-Mex meal of quesadillas, chili, and cornbread for the Canterots. I even managed to find Cheddar, which is no small task in France. For dessert, I made a pumpkin pie, which didn’t fit with the south-west theme, but is still classic Americana. Unlike the pie the assistants tried to make for Thanksgiving, this one was not a flour-logged mess, because I used canned pumpkin that I’d found at a store that carries British and American products. The meal was a huge hit, and Patrick was so excited about it that he took pictures of each dish. While it had already been a long day, I happily found the energy to go with Sabine to the University ball that night, since she’d been kind enough to invite me. Colleen, Bastian, Arnaud, Agathe and Olivier…the whole gang was there. I really do enjoy Sabine’s friends, and we had a good time dancing until poor Sabine’s shoes propelled her into an advanced state of agony. Luckily, I’ve killed all the nerve endings in my feet, so I was fine. I wore the blue dress I’d lent Sabine back in the fall, since it’s the only one I have here, and everyone teased her about having a copy-cat.

Friday, I went to Laurence’s dance recital in the evening and was so proud to see how gracefully she danced in her toe shoes. Parts of the recital were really good (Laurence’s parts), and some was the usual mess of 5 year olds “expressing themselves”..ie, running across stage in vaguely choreographed chaos. There was an interesting interpretation on the Nutcracker done by a choreographer from Biarritz. While the dancing was very good, I will be having nightmares for weeks about French ballerinas dressed as bumble bees. I was up in the nosebleed section, or “paradis” as it’s called in French, but I could still see pretty well. I could also be thoroughly annoyed by the teenagers sitting next to me who had come to see a friend dance and didn’t stop saying rude words or making noise the entire time.

Saturday, I went for a nice long walk along the Gave, swollen as it is with rainwater, since the weather was just lovely (for a change). I saw kayakers and fishermen and finally started to feel like spring had arrived. Laurence had another recital that afternoon, and then some of her friends coming back to the house for dinner. So while Patrick took care of grilling up duck breast and duck sausage, and Christine made her famous “gratin de pommes de terre”, I contributed the dessert. I made dark chocolate cupcakes with nutella frosting, since I know the way to Laurence’s heart is any combination of these two sacred elements. Cupcakes are another novelty for the French, because their idea of a chocolate cake is very dense and fudgey, with very little flour, and they never ice them.

Sunday night was Eva’s birthday, so some of us got together and ordered pizzas and just had a low-key celebration. It’s hard to believe how soon we’re all leaving! Jose commented, while he listened to Becki and I speak English, that he loves our American accents. I told him he was one of the few, but he said American accents have a pretty song-like quality to them, and that he finds it easier to understand us than the Brits. Score one for the USA!

Oh, and for those of you who haven’t heard the official announcement, I picked a grad school. Next year I’ll be starting my PhD in French literature at Emory University in Atlanta. The department is heavily focused on literary theory and analysis, comparative literature, and interdisciplinary studies, as well as being strong in women and gender studies. Basically, it’s a perfect fit for me. They flew me back to the States for interviews in February, and I really clicked with the faculty and students, so I know I’m going to be happy there. I already know one other girl who will be in my program, Robyn, who is an assistant this year in Avignon. We met on the flight over from Paris. Knowing her, I know half the class, because they only take 4 people a year. We don’t know who the other two are as of now, though. The best part of the whole thing? Clary and Elizabeth and I get to live together again! I’m so excited to start this next phase in my life when I get back to the States.

In the interest of keeping things slightly less confusing, I’m going to do a separate update to give you all the details of my kids Shakespeare performances and my subsequent trip across the border with Christine and Patrick to see the Guggenheim museum in Bilbo, Spain—but be looking for it in the next couple days!



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