Wonderful, wonderful Copenhagen (part 1)

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The quayside of the Langeline cruise terminal in Copenhagen was a hive of activity. Officials and staff were frantically trying to register all the passengers whilst stevedores supervised the loading of the rest of the provisions.

I could imagine that this was similar to scenes at Southampton prior to boarding a certain ship in 1912!!!! I was told it is unlucky to mention said ship when about to board a cruise-ship for similar reasons that actors refer to Macbeth as 'the Scottish play'!!!

Roisin and I were just 2 of the 1,500 or so passengers being processed. Not a full ship by any means as the MSC Opera holds just over 1,700 passengers Activity was frantic but well organised. I say frantic. I mean only when they actually started to direct us to the relevant counter. For the 2 hours that preceded this, we left our luggage with the porters and entered the transit shed. There were tables of various forms and special offers on board. We noted that one could pre purchase drinks packages; wine or beer or soft drinks. This worked out slightly cheaper than buying individual drinks so, always looking for that elusive bargain we plumped for the beer and the soft drinks package knowing we had saved about tuppence on the deal!! It actually worked out at about 1 drink free so it wasn't a huge saving but just made things a bit more convenient. So now it was a case of just waiting for the rush. We sat and waited…then we sat some more!!

There are only so many puzzles I can do. Although it is well documented that I don't do excitement, I had to admit I couldn't wait to get on board and start to do whatever one is supposed to do on a cruise!!! So much to learn!!! I put my copy of ‘the Puzzler' and my pen to one side, looked up and stared in to the distance. I didn't notice the transit hall filling up or the Wigan accent standing out from the distinct German and American chatter happening a few rows back. I was reflecting. I didn't even feel the dig from Roisin asking me if I was reflecting again!!!! I didn't let anything get in my way I had the time to reflect. The question was: ‘How the hell did I get here……'

6 months earlier......

‘A cruise!!!! Nah! Not my cup of tea'. This was my immediate reaction when Roisin suggested we give it a try. Now I can't say that I don't like cruises not having been on one before but there are certain things that don't appeal to me.

Firstly, yes, you get to visit lots of countries but when I visit a country, I like to get my passport stamped!!! I'm on my third passport. The other 2 have wall-to-wall stamps from the old DDR (East Germany) to Australia. From Hong Kong to Hungary. I even managed to blag a Swiss stamp when I travelled to Basel for the day from Germany. I expected a bright red stamp with a big white cross thereon. What I got was a puny black rectangular stamp that resembled nothing more than a smudge on page 17!!!

Secondly, the tips. I've seen ‘A Night to Remember' and ‘the Love Boat'. Cruises are full of people in posh frocks and white tuxedos tipping all the staff in sight. It would be like a scene from the 6th Sense. I would lean over to Roisin and whisper that famous line, ‘I see posh people!!'

‘Evening sir, beautiful night, isn't it?'

‘Yes, it is. Here have some money!'

Where do you draw the line? Would I need to tip the person responsible for replacing the ashtrays, for example? What about the cleaner?

‘Oi, I've just polished that there handrail. That'll be 5 quid! If you please, beggin' your pardon!'

The third thing that has put me off cruising is the pretentiousness of it all. Mr and Mrs Farquar-Smythe-Harrington-Davis from Windsor who are on their 7th cruise this month.

‘The snorkelling in Bora Bora is absolutely divine' Waving to the entertainments officer shouting across a crowded atrium, ‘How's Cecilia and the kids? Keeping well I hope. Anyway, did I tell you about the time I was eaten by crocodiles paddling up the Zambezi? You've got to laugh, haven't you…?'

Then there are the official shore excursions. Who wants to pay £200 to visit a family in a remote village and watch them perform their national dance and show you a bit about the local way of life. They probably stash the Merc behind a bush and cover up the Aga and the satellite dish all for the sake of tradition….and the obscene amount of money they're getting paid to perform this charade. It would be like a bunch of tourists from outer Tibet visiting a typical English family and observing them having afternoon tea on the lawn in full Victorian garb or bowler hats and pin stripe suits with all the ‘gentlemen wearing handlebar moustaches or monocles. See what I mean? Pretence!

So there you have it. Chris's 4-point plan on why NOT to go cruising.

On the other hand….we had recently discussed plans for our big 5-0s in a few years time. We drew up a short list including a round the world trip with 5 stopovers and a 30-day cruise from San Francisco to Oz then flying home via Hong Kong. As the latter seemed to represent the best value for money, Roisin and I agreed to try out this cruising malarkey first. So the next questions is: ‘where do we go??'

Not the med. Too many families and kids running riot. Can't be long haul as we have a 50th birthday trip to save up for. We don't want to be away too long in case it's shite! By process of elimination, this left the Norwegian Fjords or the Baltic. The Mediterranean Shipping Company or MSC ran trips around the Baltic. These trips embarked in Copenhagen. Good, there probably won't be too many Brits on board. It's an Italian Company. Oh good, pasta for breakfast!! There are a lot of diverse ports of call…and all in a paltry 12 days. The added bonus is that the cruise called at St Petersburg. I had already visited this place when it was called Leningrad but it is somewhere that Roisin had always yearned to visit.

So there you have it. A Baltic Cruise with MSC. The' MSC Opera' to be precise. The voyage will start and finish in Copenhagen. The ports of call are: Gdansk, Poland; Riga in Latvia; Tallinn, Estonia; overnight in St. Petersburg; Helsinki in Finland; Stockholm then Visby both in Sweden and finally Kiel in Germany before returning to Copenhagen. Furthermore there is only 1 full day at sea so hopefully I don't expect boredom to be a factor. (Well, not for very long anyway!!)

The flight in to Kastrup airport was uneventful as was they short train ride to Østerport. The Comfort hotel was opposite the train station and not a million miles away from the cruise terminal. Roisin's planning came in to it's own with selecting a hotel in the vicinity of public transport links and minimising our cost by taxi to the ship. Although we had sussed out the bus route, this is one time we were willing to sod the expense and jump a taxi. After all, we had more luggage than usual. Mainly made up from all our pretentious apparel!!!

The hotel was a short walk from the world famous ‘Lille havfrue', Hans Christian Andersen's Little Mermaid. The story goes that she exchanged her voice for some human legs in order to win over the affections of a Prince. Unfortunately he binned her for a real Princess and having no voice couldn't tell him what she thought of him!!! She was so upset she threw herself in to the sea and turned to foam! Now, it had me at the human legs and the being ditched but come on!! Turning in to foam. Sound like a fairy tale to me!!!

I first saw the little mermaid in 1979. I took the ferry from Malmö for the short journey to Copenhagen, ½ an hour across the Skatterat. I was so looking forward to see this landmark that epitomises Demark. Photographs often depict this statue in the mouth of the harbour. Now call me old fashioned but although I didn't expect anything on the grand scale of the Statue of Liberty, I did expect something that was visible to the human eye!! In reality, it lies on the waters edge and is no bigger than life-size sculpture plonked on a large boulder.

28 years on and I had a front row seat. This was obviously during her pre-foam period!!

After a brief ice cream stop we took the short walk, crossing a bridge and down some steps that lead to a wooden bridge. Crossing this bridge, we arrived at the gate to the Citadel. This is a star shaped fortress originally built by Frederik III in 1662. I must say, he's kept the lawn in remarkable condition! This is a very peaceful hideaway despite still being used by the Danish army. The ramparts are still in excellent condition and a charming windmill slap bang in the middle is worth a visit. This was built sometime after the original conception in 1847.

All that was yesterday on May 10th 2009. We have now completed our registration and received our cruise cards. On board is a cash free zone. This is a charge card and is used to make purchases such as drinks, shore excursions, photographs, treatments, bingo etc…

The atrium situated on deck 5 - Aida was lined with stewards and other ‘hotel' staff (as they like to be called). We showed our cabin number to the hotel manager and immediately were whisked off by the next in line. We took the lift up to La Traviata deck briskly scurried off after the cabin steward who was obviously going for some sort of record for the most number of passengers shown to their cabins in an hour!! I had my hand firmly clutching a crisp €5 note as I've heard that, if treated well, the cabin steward will mould your towels into all sort of creatures such as monkeys, elephants and the like. He opened the door to cabin number 8202 situated toward the aft, showed us some of the features inside and…then he was gone. No handing over of tips. Things were looking up already!!!

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