FROM GARLIC WHAT: chosen mails from Czech, Hungary and Slovakia

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Prague (song, which I dreamed of --): 2 short mails from the Czech Republic

Ass hole
On my last night in Prague I went out with a very nice n beautiful American girl. I took her to a jazz club I knew in town. As you could probably guess, I lost my way, and we had been walking in the city centre about an hour till I found the place. I made a few other FADICHOT as well (like going out with a huge hole in my pants; As you know, I don't use underwear). But I was so nice, using my regular bullshit-for-girls (a flower, a chocolate, and jokes about myself), that she forgave me.

Speed
After Prague we had 3 days of cycling in a very beautiful natural reserve in the north. In the last days I closed the screw of my saddle so strong that it was broken. Unfortunately, it was Saturday noon, so everything was closed, and I couldn’t fix it in a bike shop (I have a few spares, but not this specific screw). Fortunately, I'm a well-experienced ofanan, so I just rode this day 20 km more without a saddle, by "standing on the bike". I felt really like in the film "speed" - I couldn't stop or even ride slower than 30 km/h. It was really challenging.

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“A song that I dreamed of Prague

is a great song of Eric Einstein.

HAGONEV MISHOTER PATUR: chosen mails from Hungary

HAGONEV MISHOTER PATUR
Last Saturday I was in the police station, for complaining about a few things that were stolen from me. Probably the policemen expected me to be very sad or so, but actually during all my long staying there I was smiling to myself like a jerk. I had 2 good reasons for smiling:
First - I was wandering whether my insurance agent speaks Hungarien, (these clowns gave me a very detailed official document, all of it in this strange language).
And second - I was asking myself if the officer would realize that I stole a pen from his table just in the beginning of my witness.

- - - Unfortunately, the answer for the second question is: yes, he found the pen in my pocket, n he didn't like it very much. The answer for the first question is still open.

Exhibitionism
I have just returned from the full eclipse festival. The conditions in the festival were exactly like in TIRONUT: unbeliveably disgusting toilets, cold showers, extreme hot and humid weather, 5 bilion mosquitoes. Every afternoon there was a line of about 70 people waiting to the showers - one had to wait more than hour for taking a shower! Anyway, OR (my partner) claimed it was really worth to wait for the showers, as the showers weren't separated to men and women. I admit it's a bit like the greatest men's fantasy - you see a beautiful girl in the street, and wish to know how does she look like naked. So, there you just had had to wait a little until you got the answer. Well, this happened only if you were lucky (or smart) like OR, to stand just behind the most KUSIT girl in the line. If you were an unlucky guy like me, however, you would stand behind the ugliest male in the area, and had been waiting for n hour just for getting the rare chance to compare circumcised and un-circumcised dicks (the Israeli girls here claim that circumcised is much more beautiful, but unfortunately they probably didn't mean mine specifically).
Anyway, for a well-known exhibtsionist like me it was nothing of a curiosity - in my opinion it should better be like this everywhere, not only in a junkies'-festival.

AVRAHAM HALFI (ZATZA”L) IS TURNING HIS GRAVE
Some of you (my parents) will be very happy to hear that, and some of you (my friends) much less happy, but the truth is that I smoked nothing interesting during the festival. It was just too expensive (seriously).
Well, even without seeds, the festival was really fun. Had you seen me dancing that bloody music, you wouldn't have believed that's me. Had you heard the trans cover version for "ATUR MITZCHECH" of YONI RECHTER (seriously!) you would have understood what's the entire story is about. Had you met my unforgetable English teacher (JUDY RAVIV), you would have told her she did a great job with teaching me all these unfulfilled conditional form, didn't she?
If at first u don't succeed, try n try n try again.
KOL BEITAR AL HAZAYIN SHEL HAPO'EL YERUSHALAYIM (zeh lichvod haderbi).
--- Avraham Halfi Zatza”l (Zecher Tzadik Libracha) wrote the lyrics of

Atur Mitzchech

FROM GARLIC WHAT (mail from the Tatra Mountains, Slovakia)

Last Friday I walked in the mountains with a local woman I met. By the evening we went back, and "FROM GARLIC WHAT" ('mishum mah') we decided to make a shortcut through the woods. Two minutes later we found ourselves in the middle of a huge forest, having no idea where we were. As usual happens in woods, it became dark very early. It was a bit frightening: as a matter of a fact, sleeping in the woods is not such a big deal for me - I had already spent a night in the woods alone in Argentina, and it wasn’t so horrible. But now I had a woman with me, and I know that she was going to "fuck my brain" ('lezayen li ta'sechel') all night long with complains and "mind mixings" ('bilbuley moah'). And probably that frightened me much more than the animals in the woods n and so. So I used my famous navigation skills (go alwyas down, as the mountains are up, and the roads and the civilization is down), and finally we found our way back home.

Travel date: Aug-Oct/1999

Old Kato

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