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June 7th 2015
Published: June 7th 2015
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I wrote two days ago about leaving the European Shengen Zone

But I must tell you about this crazy keyboard we got in la belle Francois.

Its a European keyboard. here are a number of ekxtra charactersm and you sometimes have to use a second Shift Change key, The problem is that the keyboard is using a set of sign language, while da poota is used to querty smoke signals.

You see the following are interchanged from a Qwerty key board

• A swaps with Q
• so also Z and W , M , ; and @ all go to all different places and various punctuation marks mover around the board.

All this makes for interesting first drafts of whatever I type. You might have noticed a few spellen erras that I either did not pick up or could not be bothered changen.

You see its all part of a plan to have uniform whatever in the EU.

At one point recently the European parliament decided to make English the official lingo of ze EU- a decision dat deed nort go so weel vith ze Germans.

Of course there is a gradual 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English". the British Government will now change some English spelling

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl.


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