5 Countries, 48 Hours.

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This is where our life on Middle-Eastern coach lines begins, and will never be forgotten as one of the most hilarious but hated experiences of our young lives. Our Split bound boat from Hvar arrived around 1pm where we scrambled to the bus station to make the 130pm to Dubrovnik, and what we thought was our next paradise. 5 winding hours staring over the face of a cliff later we arrived in Dubrovnik and went on a hunt for our residence. After climbing a mountain and gaining an early hate for Dubrovnik we were greated to a miscommunication that left us with a 2 hour hold on our reservation. Angry, Hungry, and unclean, we strolled through the ghost town as it was sunday, and apparently Croatia doesnt exist on sundays. Luckily we came across a tourist information worker that guided us towards pizza and advised us that our planned route to Greece was a terrible one and we should take the ferry back to Italy first. Being as financially concious as we are we neglected to take his advice which turned out to be a huge mistake. Still waiting for our room we devoured foot long perogies and a large pizza while discussing how badly we wanted to get to Greece. We woke up the next day to a loud scream from Tenille and an ant colony marching one by one into our leftover pizza. After winning a fight with our landlords we quickly evacuated the guest house and made our way to the bus station and booked tickets to Mostar, Bosnia. If your thinking what the hell are they doing taking an non-air conditioned bus into Bosnia, the answer is we have no idea. 5 hours, and 3 passport checks later, we arrived in the active though pleasently cheap battle-zone of Mostar. With six hours to kill we restricted ourselves to a 2 block radius as we felt our safety was in jeapordy. 14 pints for 9 euros and some lean Bosnian cuisine made our short stay in Mostar managable. During our drinks and card games we acquired a pet dog who we later named hugo from a young dirty Bosnian child who the dog didnt seem too keen on staying with. The reality of where we were didnt hit us until nightfall when Tyler and I found ourselves clinching our pocket knives in a protective barrier around Tenille waiting for our bus. Boarding a 10 hour night bus to Belgrade,Serbia we found ourselves on a "highway" that made the Penninsula look like the prairies. Luckily we met an English-speaking Serb that gave us directions to the train station and the fun ride that awaited us. This being the 20th Birthday of our beloved Tyler, we celebrated it malnourished by 3-way splitting a small bag of cashews, quickly followed by a melatonin to ease the ride and herbal candy from a stranger. Happy Birthday Tyler. After being kicked out of numerous carts we were left standing in the hallway for the remainder of our train ride. To be clear this was no ordinary train. This train was conducted by beer drinking, chain smoking, cigarette traffickers. We realized something was out of the ordinary when shirtless train workers were climbing in and out of the roof panels holding screw drivers. Shortly before entering Bulgaria an entourage of 65 year old obese Serbian women crowded what leftover space was on the train. Approaching the border a majority of the train gained a tense feeling and began to scramble while the handful of tourists aboard the train remained clueless before we came to a full stop at the border. Clearly not the first time this has happened border patrol instantly targeted these old whenches and strip searched them in the open. Realizing they were busted one of them attempted to strap her precious cargo to Tyler. Not ready to go to Bulgarian prison on his birthday he declined and let the border patrol do their job. Despite a thousand cartons being confiscated, the drug team still managed to smuggle enough cigarettes to make it worth a highfive and a celebratory pack each. Weary, concerned for our saftey, and completely filthy we arrived in Sofia 13 hours later, only realize the termoil Greece was in left us unable to make it there by train... Again luck of finding fellow travellers saved us from having to spend a night in Bulgaria as we mutually agreed to fork over a combined 200 euro between 5 of us for a 4 and a half hour cab ride to Thessaloniki, Greece. Arriving at 2am we were forced to wait till 5 am for the first train to Athens. We spent this time teaching our new friends North American card games and once again showering in the train stations sinks. We arrived in Athens at 1030am disoriented but relieved..48 hours later... We vow never to return to any of those countries again. Alive and happy its time to party.

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