Deck the Decks with Boughs of Holly!!

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We've barely had time to unpack and the entertainment has already started. At 2:15 a local choir were carol singing in the atrium. As we wandered through the ship to get our bearings, a distinct smell of mulled wine and festive spices wafted through the air. The odour became so strong, it morphed in to a ghostly shape of a giant hand and grabbing me by the nostrils, dragged me towards the source of the irresistible smell. My body raised off the ground and the force of the spectre glided me nearer to unspeakable ecstasy and that sweet taste of Christmas. Despite me gently floating on air being guided by this apparition, to any on lookers, it just looked like a bloke walking towards the bar!! A hand (not the phantom one this time!) reached for my arm. 'Let's grab a bite to eat first', said Roisin. ‘There is plenty of time to sample the festive grog!'

To help guests with identifying their location, the stair carpets are colour coded. The aft stairs are grey; midships, blue and the forward stairs are red. Now providing you remember these colours you should never become confused or disorientated. I personally would just put up a sign saying ‘aft', midships' and forward' or even ‘back', ‘middle' and ‘front' but then what colour would you have the carpets?

At 4:30 on the dot, Captain Trevor Lane gave the order to cast off and we were on our way.

There is only 1 dining room on board the Arcadia called the Belvedere. However, this covers 2 decks of the aft section, decks 2 and 3. On deck 2, there are 2 sittings for dinner: 6:30 and 8:45. The upper deck (3) is dedicated to freedom dining. This allows the diner to dine at any time between set times of 6:30-9:00. In the past when we have been on fixed dining, this has inhibited us from attending certain entertainment events. For this reason, we chose Freedom dining for the duration of this voyage. The choice of dining preference has to be made at the time of booking the cruise. Tonight's dress code was casual. In planning our evening, we decided to attend the first show in the Palladium theatre at 8:30pm. The act was a comedian by the name of Micky Zany. We headed to the restaurant at 6:30, this should give us enough time to get settled in to the ship's theatre by curtain up. Our preference is a table for two. None of these tables were available and could result in at least a 45 minute wait. In these circumstances, the restaurant provide you with a pager that lets you know when your table is ready. We decided to share and were immediately shown to a table for eight! Two hours later we had just finished desert. Having to forgo our coffee we headed straight down to the theatre. The problem with sharing a table for 8 is that service always seems to be slower. The reason being is that you will only be served as fast as your slowest eater!! If a table for two is not available, we usually ask for a table for six. To be honest, we were glad to get away as there is only so much we can take of hearing about ‘her' cats and dogs. I felt sorry for the husband who hadn't had the opportunity to say much during the whole meal (to be honest, none of us did really!)

The Palladium Theatre. Liam Jay, the Cruise Director started proceeding off by introducing his entertainments team. They all took turns in introducing themselves and their responsibility whilst on board. And so to the main event. Micky Zany. The oxymoron that he is a Suffolk comedian. He would have been funny if his jokes were!! He obviously gets the same cyber jokes as me sent to him as I'd seen most of his material in various emails. You know the type: ‘blond' jokes and ‘Essex' jokes. However, Micky Zany, by substituting ‘blond' and ‘Essex' for Norfolk does not make the joke any more original! I think the guy next to me was getting pissed off as I kept finishing the comedian's punch lines!!!

There were three ladies in front of us who were in hysterics (not too sure how much of that was the wine!!) during most of Micky's act. I was laughing at them but had to stop as I didn't want the comedian to get the wrong idea and actually think his jokes were entertaining!!

Most cruise lines including MSC and Princess charge 15%!s(MISSING)ervice charge on all drinks. Our first night aboard I ordered a round of drinks on two separate occasions and only paid for the price of the drinks. I'm still seeking confirmation that P & O don't adopt this policy of charging an extra 15% but until I hear otherwise, I'm treating this as a result!!

I've already mentioned that there is no natural light in an inside cabin. As soon as the lights are switched off, it becomes pitch black. Not a chink of light from any corner of the cabin. Why then, when I got up in the middle of the night to pop to the toilet, did I put my glasses on??! Unless they were army surplus night vision goggles (which they weren't) it wasn't going to enhance my sight by one iota!

And so to our first port of call, Zeebrugge. Zeebrugge is a village along the Belgian coast, located between Knokke and Blankenberge. The village is quite small and the beach is less touristic than the other resorts. However, at this time of year it is difficult to tell! The port itself is one of the most important and most modern in Europe. It dates from the late 19th century and was built as an "advanced port" of Bruges, 7 miles away. In fact Zeebrugge means Bruges-by-the-Sea!

It was advertised on the previous evening that there would be a free shuttle in to the centre of Blankenberge, 4 miles from Zeebrugge along the familiar coast road that stretches to the French border and beyond. Normally free shuttles are only provided to the port gate when walking in the dock estate is prohibited. Shuttles that take you further than the port to the nearest town come at a charge. I understand that if you book a P & O cruise under the select price, all shuttles are free but booking under the saver price, there is a charge for the shuttle. Either way, this was not mentioned in the ‘Horizon' daily programme so everyone just seemed to pile on the shuttle.

We were dropped off in Blankenberge adjacent to the train station outside the church of Saint Aloysius and we promptly headed the few hundred metres in the direction of the promenade. We passed a rather startled Santa Claus that seemed to be the centrepiece in the town square. It didn't take long to see why. On the sea front we were confronted by 3 giant babies climbing up the side of a building and a 3 foot Santa scaling a balcony to an apartment. If anyone has seen Childs Play – the movie, the Santa seemed very Chucky-esque to me!

We walked along to one of the 2 piers. The weather had become bleak, dank, cold wet and windy. This, however, didn't stop a sole would be surfer trying to catch some waves. And I thought it was only mad dogs and Englishmen went out…oh! Wait, no..that's not right. It's not mid -day and it's certainly not sunny!!

Like all the resorts along the Belgian coast, the promenade at Blankenberge is very wide and lined with a variety of shops, cafes and restaurants. Above the store fronts are inevitably stories upon stories of apartments with many still for sale. A 2 bedroomed apartment on the sea front will likely set you back between €160-250,000. If the business along the promenade doesn't sell beach balls, hire bicycles, sell food or drink, it is probably an estate agent!

Strewn along the promenade at regular intervals, we noticed Christmas trees propped up against lamp posts. They gave the impression of being disregarded. As there were a fair number of these littering the ‘front', it is unlikely that it was an opportunist fly tipper. Maybe a fly tipper with OCD due to the regularity of the trees!! More than likely the council thought it was a good idea at the time but then couldn't be arsed to decorate them. Either that or they ran out of money after paying for the scary babies!!

Despite Blankenberge being an innocuous Belgian seaside town, Adolf Eugen Fick, the inventor of the contact lens, died in Blankenberge in 1901. I've no idea where he was born but he put Blankenberge on the map by dying in the, up until now, sleepy seaside village.

We headed back toward the shuttle stop, passing down through the main shopping street of Kerkstraat (Church Street.) At the train station opposite we saw the Bruges train arrive and a hoard of people pile off and head toward the shuttle bus! These are the folk from the Arcadia valiant enough to visit Bruges outside of an organised trip. We crossed over and headed toward the train station.

We have used this trip to Blankenberge as a recce to check out the trains to Bruges as we will be back here toward the end of May. The trains run every hour and it take about 20 minutes. The cost of a tickets is between €4-6 return.

All back on board it was time to chill out before dinner and then settle down for an evening of non-stop entertainment. The show in the main theatre was called Reel to Reel bringing together all that's great about British musicals. Bringing together for the first time on the same stage literary greats such as Charles Dickens and Ian Fleming in the respective musical adaptations of Oliver! and Chitty. Chitty, Bang Bang.

Music throughout the ship seems to be provided by the main house band Amathyst Duo. Hanukah has also appeared in the daily programme for the second day running although I have strong suspicions that they're not a band!! They should be. It's a great name for one!!

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Comments

[R Pupkin]

Hello. I am Micky Zaneys agent. I have a lot of comics on my books but I'm proud to say that Micky is possibly the most original and funniest guys I know. For you to say that he's just coasting along doing some lame blonde jokes ... Well I
do t really know what to say. I read your blog and i kinda smiled once ... It mighta been wind. I think you owe Micky an apology. At least go and see him again with an open mind Rupert.

[Elaine]

Never heard of Mickey Zaney, only Mickey I heard of is Mickey FinnHe must have only just started in the business look forward to seeing him on the London Palladium