Belarus Day 5

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Day 5:

I couldn’t really sleep during the night. Don’t know whether it was the weather or the anticipation of the run and the manual labour ahead of me. I woke at 3am and went to the kitchen for a cape and swig of water and sat watching the stars through the window. Behind me Yuliya and Jamie were lay sleeping holding each other. They looked adorable and I felt very lucky to have them. Maia, Katya and Young Dasha were sleeping in the veranda next door. I returned to bed and through fitful sleep awake when Victor coming in before going to work. I shook his hand and rolled back over to sleep a little while longer.

I was awoken by my alarm at 7am and looked over at Yuliya who was checking her work emails on her phone. She couldn’t go long without checking in. We coffee’d and got ready then went outside to ensure that we didn’t miss Dasha today. At 8am she came over with Vadim her father (I was later told off that I had spelt his name wrong so here I have corrected it). We started the run. A different route to last time running through the village then along a 2km road to the main train tracks, followed that for ½ km before returning through the opposite side of the village to the farm. Dasha kept pace and we followed and followed and followed hoping that she would tire and stop for a breather or a drink of water….. she did not. Vadim was hoping around like a spring lamb apparently not effected by the heat or the distance and putting us all to shame. I, conscious of my raspy breathing and increasing pain in my knee, fought back the urge to stop and carried on trudging away. Just as we rounded near to the station (the furthest distance from the farm) I realised that the ½ pig I had eaten the night before was trying to make an exit. I really needed the toilet. Like really bad. I tried to ignore the pain in my stomach and prayed that I didn’t soil myself I continued to run praying to the toilet gods to have pity on me. I wondered whether I could do a Paula Radcliffe and pull my shorts to the side whilst running? Would anyone notice? I quickened my pace running like I was chasing after a kebab van. We made it back and I excused myself quickly whilst bouncing towards the drop loo. The flies better watch out coz the speed and the size of this was going to be dangerous and life threatening. It was magnificent!!

I returned to the farm and had a cup of coffee before heading to the shower to cool myself off and freshen myself up. After I redressed Yuliya said that Sergey had started the logging and I should go out to help. I found him by the log pile sharpening 2 axes. Showing me where and how to proceed he watch as I showed him that I was able to wield such a dangerous tool and commenced a few feet away to chop logs also.
An hour later we had produced a large pile of smaller logs and he said it was coffee break time. We went in and after 10 minutes came out refreshed.

My confidence in my ability had grown and I was determined to finish before Victor came home, alas his car pulled up. He looked initially fearful but after watching me for a minute appeared impressed enough to go and have some breakfast in the farm. Just as I got back into the literal swing of it, Yuliya came out to give some words of encouragement . Turning to look at her I brought the axe down and it ricocheted off the log and embedded into my shin. There was no pain. I suspect the sickening thud had sent me into instant shock. I calmly thought about hiding the fact that I had hacked into my leg but with a sickening crunch as I pulled the axe out of my leg and realised that I was in need of urgent medical assistance. Yuliya (who hadn’t seen what had just happened) said “come on then carry on”. I stated “I can’t I’ve just cut myself” “how bad?” “It’s bad”. As I looked down I had opened up a 3 inch gash on my shin, the tissue had opened up and bone was visible. Although I thought it would be gushing with blood there was only a small trickle flowing into my trainer. I didn’t want to panic Yuliya or the kids so I hobbled to the house and sat outside. Yuliya seeing the damage for the first looked horrified and ran in to get something to use as a bandage and I started to feel very nauseous all of a sudden. Yuliya squirted my eye saline solution into the wound and put a large plaster over to close up the wound. Luckily this was the point the children arrived and though concerned I casually said I was going to go to the doctors to get a couple of stitches. I felt like a proper idiot. I always did things that made me look retarded in front of the family. Yuliya tried to hurry me to the waiting car but I was feeling light headed. I made the excuse that I needed a drink of water to allow me time for normality to come back to my head.

Victor bundled us in to the car and, after I opened the window to tell Sergey that by the time I got back I wanted the log pile to have been completed, we headed off to Beryoza’s only hospital. Yuliya was annoyed, I remained embarrassed and gradually in more and more pain, and Victor thought it was hilarious- not only because once again I had proved to be inept on anything farm related but also because he was going to have a headache when Tania saw him and would blame him for the whole debacle. When I said Yuliya was annoyed, I mean who wants to spend an entire day in A and E.

We arrived at the hospital and after queuing to register for 10 minutes we were told to wait outside the trauma unit on the third floor. We got the lift up and we sat in a corridor outside what I assumed was the correct door. Yuliya and Victor were chatting and both started to laugh. Victor had called me retarded. There I didn’t even need to guess that’s what he thought he had now said it. Let’s be honest though I was a bit retarded.

A man in a lab coat walked towards us up the corridor and he looked like a psychopath. He had a large moustache and he had cold dead eyes, he entered the room we now sat outside of. A minute later we were called into the room and I was introduced to the doctor. A smile filled his face and his eyes warmed, he looked intrigued by this foreigner in front of him. I was told to take off my blood soaked trainers and ushered into a theatre room where I was told to lie down and put my leg on a raised area. I heard Yuliya, Victor and the doctor exchange pleasantries in the adjacent room. It turns out their conversation went as follows:
Dr: “so tell me what happened”
Yuliya: explained what had occurred
Dr: turned to Victor “did you not issue him with a manual how to use an axe?”
Victor laughing said “no”
Dr: “well this is the result then!!”

2 theatre nurses cleaned the area around the wound, I of course pulled out my camera to ensure that you lucky readers had a photo to attach to the story, and then the doctor came in gloved up and proceeded to inject local pain relief around the area. Yuliya then ran in to take her own photograph. The Dr then scrubbed inside the wound, I expected to hit the ceiling in pain but there was none. It then began to bleed profusely and I felt the blood running around the back of my leg into an awaiting kidney dish. He then started stitching. I tried to watch but after a couple of stitches by neck got tired and I say back. The doctor asked the nurses to see if I was ok and I said I was. I think he gave me 6 stitches (I’ve still got to take off the dressing to look) and after dressing the wound said we were done. We went into the adjacent room and he filled out some paperwork and because it had been an emergency told us we did not need to pay anything. I thanked the team and we were on our way home. The whole process had taken 45 minutes. I work at the NHS and have always prided myself by its efficiency under limited resources but I was so impressed by the level of service I received here in Bereyoza.

The biggest downside to all of this, is that I have been told not to run or swim until the stitches need removing in 2 weeks. Oh well I guess it is back to eating, drinking and getting fat.

When we got back Tania was all full of sympathy and Victor appeared to have avoided blame as it was actually Babushka who had suggested the venture, and no one was going to blame her. I told Tania that I was fine I just felt embarrassed. I rang my Dad to tell him the tale which he found hilarious (I told you he had a dark sense of humour) and sent various family members the photo. They were all entirely unsympathetic follows are some of the messages that I received:

Tristan(cousin):

“Oh very well done. I take it no one pointed out to you the dangers of wielding an axe after 3 pints of vodka?”
“Damn mate. Sorry to hear that. You will have to drown your sorrows in more voddy. Do I have to contact the British Embassy to ensure they send someone to take that axe away from you?”

Emma(Sister):

“Take it u won’t be chopping anymore wood”
Me: “I’ll be lucky to control a knife. Dad thinks I am retarded”
“U are!!!!!! ????”

Sian (cousin):

“God dangerous place Belarus tell them no to the vodka”

Well from that I think you’re all bastards!! Lol
My mother was more sympathetic but she still compared me to Hugh (my stepdad) who has a knack of injuring himself.

Although the pain was creeping back in I decided to head out and collect the logs we had cut earlier but with the constant time on my feet it began to really hurt again. I guess I would have to take it easy for a few days. I returned to the house to finish yesterday’s blog and wait for the pain relief I took to kick in.

We had some lunch of Pike burger Victor had caught yesterday (not the burger, the Pike). I took myself off to the lake with a fishing rod and spent a couple of hours fishing. I caught 2 fish and a tree and therefore lost one of Victor’s prized floats. Add it to the list of ways to upset Victor today.

The kids and Yuliya went off swimming in the lake to cool themselves down and then Yuliya went off for another run with Young Dasha. I phoned my mother for a chat but after the call I started to become stir crazy and took myself for a walk around the block. After a while it felt like the wound was being overly stretched and I felt wet with fresh blood. I retreated back to the farm and to my self imposed rest.

After a couple of hours, I decided to pull the bandages off that had been supplied and I dressed my own leg. It felt a lot more secure with a tighter bandage. Bollocks to it I’m going out and finding some drink. A Few beers later I felt more human than I had all day. The pain was numbed with the pain killers.

After helping the kids to a shower we settled down for tea. Sergey produced tonight’s beverage of fine cognac. Our first toast was to the Belarusian medical services- it could have been worse but what a fine job they did. Although sore it is what it is and I can’t be held back too much. I just have to hobble around a little bit.

Anyway away from my leg because I am becoming obsessed, Sergey put on my plate a fishes spermatozoa sack. What a delightful end to an utterly shit day. I said “fuck it” and spread it on a slice of black bread and popped it into my mouth. Yes it really was as bad as you would expect. Could this day get anymore fucked up.

So here I am lying in bed after finishing the bottle of cognac and a couple of beers trying to decide what I will do tomorrow. I was actually quite good at chopping the logs until the accident. And that is exactly what it was. An accident. I am going to move forward and carry on as if I was living here and chop my god damn wood. If it had been Victor or Sergey having the accident no one would bat an eye lid of them returning to their work. I can’t run and I can’t swim but I can damn well cut a few fucking logs in half!!!! I, however have to get through the permission of Tania before I commence. Maybe I will set my alarm for 6am and just get out there before anyone gets up. Anyway I shall keep you posted. I hope I am writing tomorrow’s blood injury free, I shall post this now so that UK readers can peruse before bed.

Night night

Steve x

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