Goodbye Metric Budapest, hello Imperial Vienna!!

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Our first full day on board and true to Jochim’s word, four full coaches left promptly at 8am on a Panoramic tour of Budapest city with a stop in the Castle District, a ½ hour walking tour culminating in some free time. Five minutes after we had waved 139 passengers off, the gangway was raised and we cast off. The 30 or so remaining guests onboard sat back and enjoyed the three-hour trip to rendezvous with the tour buses at Visegrád, some 50km upstream. We passed the magnificent Hungarian Parliament building, its clean white façade and characteristic gothic style reflecting the morning sun. A few minutes later we sailed under Margrit Bridge then passed by Margrit Island on our left. At 1.5 miles long,this island provides a peaceful hideaway from hectic downtown Budapest with large green areas and flowery gardens.

With the sub-zero temperatures of the previous night, this had left the sun deck suitable for a game ice hockey!! However, soon the top deck was subject to the full might of the winter sun and gradually melted away.

Visegrád now behind us and with a full complement once again, the Gullveig headed for Vienna. All afternoon and into the evening we navigated the meandering path of the Danube against the fast-flowing current. The afternoon was interspersed with Jochim’s voice over the public-address system as he continued to point out things of interest. There are markers every kilometre along the whole 1,785 miles of this river and further markers every tenth of a kilometre so should any vessel get into difficulty the skipper can pin point their position. It makes the use of GPS obsolete in this part of the world!!! Jochim also brought to our attention the lack of life boats or flotation devices (except for life belts) on the Gullveig. As the depth of the Danube doesn’t exceed 6 metres and the height from the keel to the sundeck is 10 metres, in the event of an emergency everyone just runs up to the top deck!! Now whether this was Austrian humour, thankfully, we never found out!! (either way, it still didn’t account for the lack of life boats!!)

As we approached a town called Esztergom, Joachim alerted us to a large dome as it came in to view over the tree tops. As we rounded a bend in the river, the dome was attached to a rather large church. ‘This’, Jochim announced, ‘is the largest church in Hungary’. Esztergom church or ‘Primatial Basilica of the Blessed Virgin Mary Assumed Into Heaven and St Adalbert’ to give it its proper name was constructed in in 1822 in the neoclassical style and completed in 1869. To be honest, there has been a church of some description on this site since about 1000AD but no sooner were churches built than some invader would burn it down and build a new one!!

So as not to get caught out again, we sneaked in to the dining room and headed for the far end. We found a nice table (for six in the corner) out of view of the main dining room entrance. Meet Eileen and Marshall. Like a magnet, we saw them walk in our direction before they saw us. I thought, ‘Don’t make eye contact, don’t make eye contact’. Damn…too late.’

‘May we join you?’ Eileen asked having already taken her place in one of the two vacant seats. Marshall, who had sat next to me was in his late 60s, quite squat with a round face and thin moustache that made him look like Oliver Hardy’s slightly older, less fat half-brother one removed!! He had deep set eyes and for a moment, I thought I heard myself in a distant part of my mind saying, ‘Yes, Master!’ As he sat down, he turned to me with those dark burrowing eyes and said, ‘Mr name is Marshall and I’m a patent attorney!

‘Wow! That’s interesting’, I couldn’t stop myself saying without even a hint of sarcasm!! (nooo, it’s the eyes, I tells yer!!) Marshall then spent the rest of the meal talking about his job. He was a quietly spoken man and with his Virginian accent, I found him difficult to understand. I just nodded at regular intervals, trying to break away at an appropriate time to bring everyone else back in to the conversation. It just wasn’t happening. Eileen had been talking to Kate, Roisin and Carla for about 20 minutes on various aspects of her dull family life when she suddenly said; ‘So, tell me a bit about yourselves?!’ What was this, a job interview??!!

After the meal the waiters came to the table asking if anyone wanted tea or coffee. Eileen and Marshall had both said yes so this was our opportunity to take our leave grabbing a coffee from the 24-hour hot drinks station en route to the Aquavit lounge for the evening’s entertainment.

Viking Cruises aren’t big on evening entertainment. Bobby is the resident pianist who, as we entered the lounge was already tickling those ivory keys with an array of Christmas Favourites. He sat behind a black Baby Grand next to a 7ft Christmas Tree. This was very festive. The tree? It looked a little bare. Not for long. This evening, not so much entertainment (except for Bobby, who was to be there every evening!) but an activity. This evening, one could design a bauble then hang it on the Christmas tree to the sound of Bobby’s rendition of ‘Chestnuts roasting on an open fire…’ The baubles, provided by Viking were about 4 inches in diameter and plain silver with the logo of Viking etched on to these Christmas decorations. Carla, Roisin and Kate all took a bauble each, selected a black felt tipped pen, found a quiet corner and proceeded to create. From nowhere and taking everyone by surprise, an elderly lady with unkempt hair and a wonky eye pushed her way in to this select group; barging her way past Roisin and her mum finally coming to rest beside Carla. Turning to my ‘gobsmacked’ sister-in-law, this unexpected addition said, ‘I’ve got sixteen cats don’t you know?’ The ‘cat-lady’ continued to ramble on despite Roisin and Kates’s best efforts to bring Carla back in to their conversation.

Back to the baubles! Once the cruise finished, Viking provided a box and you were welcome to take your Christmas bauble home as a souvenir. Looking at the tree once all the baubles had been hung, there were some very original (and not so original) designs. But everyone had fun. That’s the main point!

Whilst all this was happening below decks I was on the sun deck with several other enthusiasts watching the boat navigate through the first of many locks. From a distance, it looked as if the river came to a dead end. As we neared the lock, giant stone doors, one for upstream traffic and one for downstream, loomed above us. This was Gabčíkovo, a Soviet era lock that was built for brute strength. The Captain steered the boat through the gate with utmost precision hugging the starboard wall. Thousands of litres of water per second rushed through the sluice as the vessel was raised eighteen metres to the level of the upper river.

The following morning, we picked up our ‘hotel card’, given a tour number, handed a complementary bottle of water and at 9:15am headed out to one of the five coaches waiting to take us on our tour of Vienna. The Captain was positioned by the gangway wishing everyone a pleasant day. Ewardt was the name of our tour guide. Every stateroom has receiver head sets and these have to be taken with you on every excursion. Roisin and I held our receiver against Ewardt’s paddle in order to sync the receivers. This is an excellent idea as it means that you don’t have to stick close to the guide to hear what he is saying. On the down side, you can hear every little noise. Hopefully Ewardt will remember to put his microphone on mute if he visits the bathroom!!

Our guide started off with an apology (which is never a good sign). Austria had just voted in a new Government. There are many demonstrations today and for that reason Ringstrasse is closed. This is the main ring road for the city. However, our driver had a cunning plan. A few narrow streets and shorts cuts later we pulled up in Schwedenplatz, our drop off point. The transfer had only taken twenty minutes.

Schwedenplatz is situated alongside a tributary of the Danube known as the Donaukanal. Ewardt led us through a series of narrow alleyways that may have once been thriving thoroughfares, never once pausing for breath as there seemed to be an interesting story to relate about each building we passed. It was only a short 800m walk until the confined cobbled back street opened out to the wider Stefansplatz and in to the shadow of what is considered the symbol of Vienna, St Stephen’s Dom. This impressive cathedral may be renowned for having thirteen bells which hang in the South Tower, the largest of its four towers where it boasts the second largest free-swinging church bell in Europe. However, I was impressed by the tiles on the roof!! The roof of the main nave were of a standard apex design, the tiles coloured creating a mosaic effect. The roof sloped so all the populus from miles around could see the emblem of the imperial eagle. I have visions of the Arch Bishop asking ‘How much to have an Imperial Eagle design on the roof?’ and the roofer looking up and sucking air through his teeth similar to mechanics these days when you know the car repair is going to cost more than the value of the car!!

After passing the Hofburg Palace we stopped by the Stallburg. This renaissance style building was formerly the living quarters of Archduke Maximilian (later Emperor Maximillian II). Today Lipizzaners of the Spanish Riding School are housed there, If the imperialists kept the same décor as the Archduke had enjoyed, these horses are housed in better conditions that many of the human population of this city!! We were lucky to spot a few of the horses chilling out (probably caught them in between a back massage and champagne and canapés!!

We didn’t go in to the cathedral, this could be done at your leisure in the hour or so free time we had at the end of the walking tour. In fact as the walking tour was only one hour, we didn’t see all the sights of Vienna, just those around the Hapsburg Palaces which were are quite central. We continued to walk through the cobbled streets of the old town, past many fine buildings and Palaces of a fine Empire long since dissolved.

There was still a heavy police presence in the city and some roads were closed to pedestrians as well as vehicles despite not seeing any evidence of these so-called protestors.

During our free time, Roisin and I visited a Christmas market. It was refreshing to see that every stall was local and from Austria – not an Eastern European stall in sight!! In keeping with the locale, there seemed to be a gluhwein or punsch stall on every corner. I thought I’d ask for a punsch but due to my dreadful German accent I almost received a black eye!!

Our evening excursion went without a hitch. The road blocks had long since dispersed. The Vienna Konzerthaus was waiting. This Art Nouveau building was opened in 1913 and at the time was considered state of the Art (or State of the Art Nouveau, even!) Tonight we had the pleasure of a Strauss & Mozart concert. The clue is in the title so when I learned over to Roisin and whispered, ‘Is this one from the Nutcracker?’ and she nodded in agreement we just confirmed our ignorance! Either that or more likely, I confirmed my ignorance and Roisin just had a spasm in her neck!! The music was interspersed with shenanigans from the conductor and several of the orchestra such as the bass player taking a selfie of the conductor and himself and the percussionist playing candy crush in between hitting the triangle at the appropriate moment!

On the way back to the boat, we were given a flavour of Vienna by Night. The bus took us past the illuminated City Hall. This boasts the largest Advent calendar in Austria, if not Europe, as the whole building is converted in the run up to Christmas. There are twenty-four windows on the façade of the City Hall and one window is opened each day to reveal a new scene or object associated with the festive period.

We passed the very exclusive Excelsior Hotel where a standard room costs from €450 per night. If you’re feeling a little flush, the royal suite can be yours for only €4500 per night…room only! Quick to seize an opportunity, McDonald’s soon opened one of their establishments next door with the tag line: ‘…for when your hotel room does not include breakfast!!’

Many rich (obviously!) and famous people have stayed at the Excelsior. The Rolling Stones booked the Royal Suite. They were told to politely leave after a few days!! Her Royal Highness the Queen Elizabeth stayed there also. All the chairs were removed in the foyer so no one would mistakenly sit in the presence of the Queen. Unfortunately, ALL the chairs were removed so the Queen couldn’t sit in the presence of herself either!!

Finally, back on board the Gullveig at the end of a very tiring but enjoyable day, we were personally met by the Captain who directed us up to the lounge for some well-earned goulash soup whilst Bobby tinkered some Merry tunes. To quote Wallace and Grommit, ‘It’s been a grand day out!!’

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