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Published: February 22nd 2012
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Practicing my tequila skills
one tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor There is something extremely satisfying about flying from England during bad weather, on your way to warmer climes. It´s a mixture of good-natured smugness, relief and anticipation all rolled into one lovely holiday sensation. We were approaching Heathrow Airport as it started to snow, and our taxi was being buffeted by a cold December wind. I was flying to Mexico with my friend Justine, for three weeks of sunshine, tacos and tequila. We were escaping the grim English winter to bask in the glorious sunshine and break out the much-neglected sandals and shorts. So you can imagine our horror when we landed in Mexico City in jeans and T-shirts only to find temperatures barely hovering above zero. How was this possible? Had we landed in the wrong country by mistake? Apart from a lone sweatshirt, I hadn´t packed for cold weather. Would I be forced to buy a ridiculous poncho to keep warm, and be greeted by cries of "hey Gringo" for the rest of the trip?
Normally I am super-prepared when I travel. If I see a patch of blue sky, I carry my sunscreen. If there´s a suspicious cloud in the sky, I take my raincoat. If there´s
The best taco EVER
I am dribbling over my keyboard at the memory of this delicious beast a chance of beer, I flex my drinking arm in preparation. But here I was, woefully unprepared for the Mexican winter. Oh well, I thought, if I drink enough tequila I won´t notice the cold.
After a good night´s sleep at our fairly adequate hotel, we set out to explore the busy streets of Mexico City. No firm plans, just wandering. We soon stumbled into a bustling market down a side street, packed with food stalls and makeshift tables and chairs. We were ambushed by the smell of roasting meat on all sides, and the sound of meat cleavers chop-chop-chopping the succulent meat into bite-sized chunks. For the princely sum of 10 pesos, you could buy a taco. That´s 50 pence (or about 70 cents to any Americans reading this). A taco filled with juicy pork, which was so tender it fell apart just by looking at it. You could help yourself to toppings such as hot salsa, green pepper sauce, fresh coriander, and a fierce onion-and-habanero salad. It was spicy and meaty, and the juices dripped all over your hands, but you felt no disgrace when you licked your fingers clean. This was street food at it´s best.
It could have been a scene from a Carlsberg advert ("Carlsberg don´t do tacos. But if they did, they´d be the best tacos in the world"). It was so tasty that I wanted to kidnap the owner and ship him and his stall back to London. Interestingly, 5 days later, I had a meal at an "upper end" Mexican restaurant. I paid twenty times the cost of this humble taco, and came away vastly disappointed. In fact, I have never recaptured the experience of that first taco.
Also at the food market, the "Chicharron" is worthy of special mention. These were vast pieces of pork skin, sprinked with seasoning and deep fried until crunchy. Each piece was the size of a paving slab, and contained enough calories to strike fear into the most hardened junk food fanatic. These were pork scratchings on steroids, and I gained two kilos in weight just by looking at them
In Mexico City, I first noticed the phenomenon which I shall call the "Superfluous Policeman". At many traffic lights through out Mexico, you will see a lone policeman with a whistle. When a light turns red, he blows his whistle and raises a
The legendary agave plant
The source of that most potent of spirits, tequila palm to signal the oncoming traffic to stop. Then for the light that has turned green, he blows his whistle again and beckons the cars forward. I could not see the need for these policeman at perfectly good sets of traffic lights. Unless some Mexicans are red/green colourblind?
As we explored the city, we thought it would be nice to walk through one of the central parks. I was expecting lush trees and beautiful flowers. But instead I was confronted by numerous aged and dilapidated fairground rides, held together by rust and faded paint. It was a sad sight, almost like a retirement home for fairground rides. I would not trust my children on these ancient, creaking antiques, and it was no surprise that most of the rides were empty.
On our second day, we started early on the tequila. We are on our way to visit the archaelogical, and near unpronouncable, site of Teotihuacan. Our bus stopped on the way at a tourist place where we were showed lots of obsidian carvings and fabulous jewellery which made the girls go “ooh” and “aah”. They also had a formidable stock of tequila, and we accidentally got
Pyramid of the Moon
the view from the cheerfully named "Avenue of the Dead" involved in a free tasting session. At 11am in the morning. It’s primary purpose was to lower our defenses, decrease our resistance and prepare us for drunken, impulsive jewellery buying. Whilst wearing enormous sombreros. Tequila is a drink of dichotomy. You love it and you hate it. It always seems like a good idea when someone buys a round of tequila, but as soon as you neck it, you pull a “tequila face” and wonder why you agreed to it in the first place. But since we were in the birthplace of tequila, it seemed rude not to try it. There are hundreds of Tequila brands in Mexico. It is big business. There are different grades of tequila too, which depend on how long it has been aged for. The aged tequilas are stored in oak barrels for up to four years and are treated as “sipping tequilas”. Tequila also as a very strict law on it’s production. It has to be produced from a specific species of agave plant, called the Blue Agave. Whereas the cousin of tequila, mezcal, can be produced from any species of agave plant. The other difference between the two drinks is that mezcal often
Team photo at the summit
Steep stairs challenged our tipsy legs, but we made it to the top. has a worm in the bottom of the bottle, whereas tequila does not. The worm is a larvae that lives in the agave plant, and the original reason for this being placed in the bottle has been lost over time. But there are two prevalent theories
The worm was placed inside to prove the quality of the mescal, and it’s strength. Since the worm does not disintegrate over time, but remains intact and “pickled”, it demonstrates the high proof of the mescal
The worm was merely a marketing ploy aimed at gullible Americans who thought that is was “traditional”. To this day, drunken fraternity males often eat this worm as a rite of passage
And so we drank several tequilas and mezcals, of varyings strength and age. Were they any good? Well, I’m afraid to say that I simply found some of them less foul than others. I still ended up pulling an expression like a bulldog licking pee off a nettle.
With a morning glow from the tequila, we swayed towards Teotihuacan. This was an ancient group of temples in pyramid form, dating back to 250 AD. Only 20%!(NOVERB)
Ancient Art
Not entirely sure what it is. But impressive nonetheless of the original structure remains. But historians, bless them, have restored the missing 80%, which means you can see the "original structure" in it´s entirety. The restored parts were marked with white dots, to allow people to differentiate bewteen old and new. I had mixed feelings about this. Would you straighten the leaning tower of Pisa? Would you glue the missing arm of Venus De Milo back on? Still, the temples were an impressive sight.
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Donna and Neil
Donna and Neil
A bulldog licking pee off a nettle!
Thanks for that image...it really made us laugh. We will do anything to avoid the tequila shot exactly for the bulldog impression afterwards. Those tacos look amazing, bet they would have soaked up any stray tequila. Teotihuacan after tequila shots, you are brave than we are ;)