Hats off to Panama City!

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A day at sea and for the whole day we hugged the coastline of Panama inching our way closer to our next destination, Panama City and the gateway to the highlight of this trip, transiting the Panama Canal. We didn't lose sight of land until the sun went down and even then somehow you knew the land was still out there!

Each stateroom receives a daily paper known as the Princess Patter. This provides the reader with all the activities to be found on board. Apart from trivia you can go to line dancing, zumba or ballroom dance lessons. There are lectures on a wide variety of topics. Roisin and I noticed a few people taking photos of the propeller of one of the lifeboats. They had obviously been to the master class on digital photography!

I am intrigued by the art auction. I have never been to one yet but a few days ago we wandered in to the art gallery to see what all the fuss was about. The paintings were very diverse. Some were a disgrace. I have seen my 4-year only great nephew produce better abstract strokes whilst sitting on the potty. Others used the pallet knife effect and usually depict country life or scenes of differing seasons. These are the ones that look shite when you stand up close; just a dab here and a stoke there, but when standing further away wouldn't look out of place in a Constable or Gainsborough exhibition. Then there are the quirky. One set of paintings caught my eye. A martini glass and 2 green olives have been given human characteristics and posing in various situations. I noticed the signature 'Goddard' at the bottom of all these paintings. That's it!! Notice more to add. No wise crack comment! I just noticed it!! I still don't know who the feck (is it ‘who the feck' or ‘whom the feck??) he/she is!!! I'm definitely going to go to one of these art auctions before the trip is out.

On one of our evening trivias, the game was entitled ‘Where in the world'. The rules were quite simple. A clue is given. If you think you know the answer you run down to the stage with your answer. If you're right your team gets awarded 3 points. Those who do not know get a 2^nd clue for 2 points and then a final clue for 1 point. Once you have provided an answer, if it is wrong you can't have a 2^nd try with an easier clue.

I was the nominated runner. Apart from being knackered after just the 4^th question, we were doing OK. Question number 5: In which city was a Bloody Sunday incident? I said ‘Belfast' straight away.

Roisin said ‘No! I think its Londonderry.'

By this time 2 teams had raced to the front and got their answer wrong. We knew Belfast would be the obvious answer so we both looked at each other and said in unison: ‘Londonderry'

I was the only one walking toward the stage strutting, not just like the cat who had got the cream but the cat who had also caught the little bastard of a mouse trying to steal it!!

‘Incorrect!!' came the reply from our Canadian host. I walked away as if that mouse was now giving me acute indigestion!!

2^nd clue. ‘Peter the Great founded this city!!' We never recovered from this mortal stab to our pride. We got a mention at the end as a ‘Grand effort.' I don't want a ‘grand effort'. I don't want any kind of effort other than the ‘well done! Here's your champagne' kind of effort!!

David, also on our team (and a Man. Utd fan) said: ‘Don't worry, mate! It's only a game'. I reminded him that when Utd get beaten by Man City in the final of the Champions league by a 94^th minute Tevez offside goal I'll ring him up and say: ‘‘Don't worry, mate! It's only a game!!'

We sat talking to our teammates in crime, David and Kay for the rest of the evening before deciding to pop up to the Tropical buffet at about 11:30.

I couldn't believe what greeted me. I just had to try them. There in all its glory were a dice of cheese, a dice of pineapple and something resembling a pickled onion on a cocktail stick. I thought I'd walked back in to the 70s. I half expected the bar staff to walk past with Watney's Party 7 under their arms.

Drawing back the balcony curtains shortly after 8am I was greeted by seeing a number of boats from small coasters to fully laden container ship scattered in the bay. This reminded me of waiting to transit the Suez Canal 12 months earlier. Now my eyes were starting to focus I looked beyond the bevy of boats and slightly to my right. The skyline that presented itself had a certain characteristic on a par with Hong Kong Harbour or Shanghai. We had arrived in Panama City. Not at all what I expected. No mud huts. To be more exact we were anchored off the shore of Fuerte Amador – Fort Amador.

Fuerte Amador is a man made marina using rock from the nearby excavation of the Panama Canal. There is a 3.2 km causeway that joints Fuerte Amador to the mainland. We were booked on a scenic and walking tour of ‘Old Panama City'. We were too late to get on to the morning session so our tour didn't start until 1pm. Before then we had a Trivia to win.

David had taken an early tour to look at the expansion programme for the Canal. He is a Civil Engineer by trade so couldn't give this a miss, unlike his wife, Kay. Every cloud!!! It meant she was available to us for trivia. All our team turned up: Rick, an ophthalmic doctor from San Francisco with his Mother, Mae, Kay, Roisin and me. As most people had left the ship by the start of the trivia at 11:30 there were only 2 teams in the hunt. All square at 14 each. If only we'd picked the right one from the question of ‘Which planet in our solar system has the most moons?' We agreed it was either Saturn or Jupiter and plumped for Jupiter. No matter. We had nominated Roisin to represent our team in sudden death. Everyone nominated me first but I know my reactions are crap. Do you remember the game you used to play as a kid when you held your hands together and tried to slap your opponent's hands while they tried to move them out of the way still held together? If you missed, it was your opponent's turn. If you didn't miss, you kept on slapping until you did? Well I had the reddest hands in our school!!!

Roisin and her opponent were stood face to face.

‘Hands up when you know the answer but don't shout out.' The question was: How many fingers does Mickey Mouse have? Both hands shot up. It turns out this was a tiebreak a few days ago. (Which we were also part of and lost – the answer is 8 by the way!!)

Next question: What is the capital of Portugal? Roisin's hand went up as if she had seen the last muffin on the shelf!! We won lanyards. It has taken 3 years but at last we had reached our Nirvana. This is what it had all led up to. Despite having bought one 9 days earlier the feeling was one of relief. Was that a tear Roisin could see in my eye?? I tried to explain I'd just been peeling onions!!

Panama was founded in 1519 but despite surviving a series of fires was ultimately destroyed by pirates led by buccaneer Sir Henry Morgan. Casco Viejo replaced the city in the same year and the ruins of this once prosperous district. This was our first call, through the towering metropolis to reach the north end of the city

It was extremely hot and very humid. Our host took us to a museum to explain the history of Panama before our visit to Casco Vieja, a UNESCO world heritage site.

The history was interesting at first but as it grew hotter inside the museum, Ricardo the guide, still insisted that he told a story about every pot, pan and artefact on display. Some pieces of pottery were nothing more than clay dust but he still continued to pin point where these where found during the excavation of the canal.

After a 20-minute walk around the ruins of Casco Vieja I was ready to climb the tower that remains from the cathedral. Unfortunately the tour fee didn't include admission to this tower. Looking at the stairs, I couldn't help noticing how they spiralled all the way to the top with nothing to hang on to. Come to think of it, not only was the handrail missing, the wall that the handrail would have been fixed to was missing!! I quickly changed my mind and scuttled off after the rest of our group to rejoin them on our mini coach!!

On our way to the ‘walking' part of the excursion, we were taken to the house that used to be owned by General Noriega. It is now in a state of disrepair and neglect. As we turned on to the main promenade, Ricardo joked by saying our ship had left already. A quick witted passenger pointed out that Ricado would have to take us all back to his house and put us up for the night before driving to the Atlantic side of the canal to reunite us with the ship.

‘You're not on, John!!' Ricardo rhymed without hesitation.

‘Ha!' I thought. I have often wondered what the Spanish say for ‘No way José'

Now I know!!!

The walk took us through another old part of Panama known as Casco Antiguo (the old quarter.) This is a colonial style quarter. To reach this part of the city, we were first driven through the maze of high-rise buildings. One of the buildings has replicated the Burj al Arab design in Dubai. You know, the one that looks like a sail. This one is actually owned by Donald Trump! Another building, nicknamed the screw, looks like a mad professor has overdone it with the Lego©!!

Casco Antiguo is unlike any other old town I have visited in as much as blocks of buildings have been left to rot. They have been gutted and the facades are in need of a Grand Makeover! Under Panamanian law, properties in this district can be gutted but not demolished due to their historic value. Unfortunately the repair to the outside can take years to make good. One example is a Jesuit Church. Just a façade, nothing else. It is gradually being renovated and then will be rented as a tourist attraction.

This was a hard slog but very rewarding as we saw the whole diversity that Panama City had to offer. We were glad that we didn't try to explore this vibrant city on our own. In this heat and humidity it would have been tourist suicide!!

The tour finished at some local souvenir stalls. Many colourful Panamanian Molos were on show in these stalls. A molo is a piece of hand-made cloth, highly decorated with colourful and sometimes complicated patterns. From these, other items can be made such as purses, bags, quits and shawls. Panama wouldn't be Panama without seeing a stall dedicated to selling Panama hats. One interesting fact is that the Panama hat actually originates from Ecuador. It was worn by Teddy Roosevelt on a visit to the Panama Canal. It caught on and the rest, as they say, is history!!

Another interesting fact is that due to its shape, Panama is the only country in the world where the sun both rises and sets over the Pacific Ocean.

Once back on board at just after 5pm it was straight up to Horizon Court to rehydrate and take a late lunch.

We've made a new friend in the jewellery shop. Her name is Ivana from Brazil. That is not a very Brazilian name!! Mind you, I don't actually know what a very Brazilian name is!!

It was a double header of Trivia and guess what?? We trounced the opposition. There were at least 10 teams. Our score of 37/40 couldn't be touched. To reward our performance we were presented with…lanyards! Can you believe it?? 3 years we have tried to win this elusive prize and now we have 2 in a single day!!!

Tomorrow is a big day. We start our transit at dawn. There will be a commentary throughout the day and we have already received our certificate to say we have transited the Panama Canal together with a leaflet that explains the history and how the whole thing works. I'm sure anything I write won't actually be able to do this experience justice but it will be fun trying to…

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