Nicaragua, chica agua

---

Live Forever
I wanna live forever--are you ready to die?
Living like you're dying, let me ask you why?
If you were given the chance at eternal breath
would you accept life or slide towards death?
I wanna live forever--at least a thousand years
so I could watch the world grow and die between tears
my crying turns to gold and I look on in awe
heart full of diamonds from what I felt and saw
cold as a diamond? Hard as a diamond?
That's a tough riddle, what saith simon?
Simon says live your life right now, it's your chance
simon says be full of joy and dance
simon says let you heart change with your soul
don't be afraid to let go and lose control
whoops simon didn't say that, so we're all out
questioning ourselves, what's this life all about?

I wanna live forever, never die
infinite life, when will I ever fly?

Please for a start, just a thousand years?
I promise to listen with my eyes and ears
I don't think I'd ever tire of this life, not ever
unless I tired of myself, and no I won't ever
when I hated the wrold--I see why now
I just hated myself, and I know how
I was living a bad life in a bad situation
it's a miracle I rose above, it's amazing
god gave me wings to soar above the pain
and enjoy the garden of eden, naked in rain
surrounded by fruits with the only woman
nothing more to desire, the complete human
took the bite of knowledge that brings us all death
to make us aware of years, tears and sex
yet somewhere still hides the tree of life
and I'm out to find it, let it be my light

I wanna live forever, never die
infinite life, when will I ever fly?

Some lives aren't worth living--I've had several
but I lost them all, depressed with head full
of so many bad thoughts, those days are gone
now I have presence in the present and I'm moving on
It wasn't my fault I got caught in death traps
time pushes you forward and you can't get back
but I feel deeply for my deceased former selves
little kids who passed away, got dusty on the shelves
now I take em down, inspect them, clean them off
tell em some kinds words cause my heart is soft
I know I could have died right then and there
wen down to a dark place and no one cared
found no light, I found nothing but dark
but I had the pad to bounce off, and the lark
singing sweet songs in the forest, absorption
of nature and music saved me from abortion
to be able to express, to talk with myself,
was always my greatest blessing when I needed help

I wanna live forever, never die
infinite life, when will I ever fly?

The only thing about life that I don't like
is one day we have to part, well alright
we came from nothing, maybe we can go back
maybe it's more than absense, nobody knows that
it's like returning home after a long journey,
back to the void we are returning
what makes my life good makes my death good too
oceans of green, mountains, and skies of blue
man what happens when we stop rapping
when we take action and stop acting
we'll never know, we can only shoot in the dark
aim high for the moon and hit the stars

I wanna live forever, never die
infinite life, when will I ever fly?

So, here is my first blog from nicaragua, about nicaragua. Well, I have decided to write a boring blog, so read on those who dare. Lately I've been sick, I had a cold that I got as soon as I left utila. It was perfect timing, because you can't dive with a cold, and I got really clogged up. But the very day before I got my free fun dives in and they were great. Anyway, I had this cold, then I've been having this cough for over 2 weeks that keeps me up nights. Now I'm in Granada, at the Bearded Monkey, a cool hostel. I've been convalescing.

So, I coughed so bad wednesday night, I said, tomorrow I will go to the doctor. Instead I hung out with some people. The same happened the next night. I said, OK I'm going tomorrow. I didn't go. Same thing the next night, crazy coughing spasms. Finally I saw the doctor. I thought, man, I need my health and strength for phase 3 of the trip, South America, especially going to columbia. So the doctor said I had a throat of lung infection or something, and I'm on antibiotics. Then this nice chinese girl gave me some magic chinese cough medicine from china. Now nothing is strong enough to stop my cough, but that cough syrup is some of the tastiest stuff I've ever had.

I'm just laying low in granada, trying not to do anything, but I still meet all these really nice people and end up talking. I'm trying to rest my voice, cause I think using it aggrivates the cough. But I get in all these conversations. I just try to let the other person do the work, so it's terrible when someone gets interested in what I do. I'm like, look, I'm really not very interesting, let's talk about you.

Yesterday was alexander and the no good terrible very bad day. Everything was going wrong. But I was still in good humor about it, making fun of myself for being in such bad humor. Actually, there have been a lot of times when I get grouchy lately, from being tired, or feeling miserable. This led me to a great deep thought--people who are really mean and nasty just feel miserable inside. It helps me understand people like that. When I feel lousy inside, it's hard to be real nice to others. But I can put it aside, because the discomfort is only temporary. But some people I think are always feeling lousy, either health, self-esteem, emotional or mental, and if they act mean, instead of saying what awful people they are, we should see they are in fact the most to be pitied.

That's my two cents worth. Yesterday I tried to nap some, so I lied in bed. But I was feeling so cooped up. I got up to go get some lunch. I was feeling really shaky, my hands were shaking, and my legs shook a little standing there. I was like, what's wrong with me! But I think I feel a little better today. I'm on these antibiotics you know. Just hoping to get well soon. Trying to do nothing, but I always end up walking around with people.

The first day I got here I was going to go to the doctor, but I met Barbara, a real nice dutch girl, and we went to the market together and had a big success. I got sunglasses and stuff, and she got some clothes. That was fun. Yesterday, I did well at doing nothing, but today I went to a museum with a girl from alaska, and after that we found a piano! I was so happy, it has been forever since I played, so I sat and played a bit. It was great fun, good for my spirits. I still have a few licks, but I do feel rusty. Also my fingernails are so long and I need to cut them to play piano...but it was a nice, white, baby grand piano. And it's in the cultural center, so I can go back there. That will help heal me up.

Back in Managua, I just layed low. I have to say I wasn't too impressed with that city. It was urban sprawl with few redeeming qualities. But I went to the cultural museum, and that was the only tourist thing to do there. It wasn't bad. Since I was just trying to relax there, it was good, and the hotel was nice, so I was happy.

Other than that, not much doing. I'm going to type up some more poems. Lately been feeling too weak to write anything much, and it's really hard for me to think straight or focus. But it's funny, because when I was first getting the cold, I think it helped me with my writing, I was writing a lot and liking it, so sometimes I think being sick can help.

Everything happens for a reason, and this has made me chill out and think about my next big phase, phase 3 of the trip, south america. That is the big one...I have to get mentally and physically prepared! It's going to be crazy. You'll be seeing some good pics I hope, I'm getting better about taking them. I feel I missed so many good shots, from laziness, or fear of taking them of people...but still I got some good ones.

Well I hope I have bored you sufficiently because that is what I set out to do. Anyway, soon I'll be heading off to Isla Ometepe, which is two volcanoes in the middle of the biggest lake in central america, Lake Nicaragua, which contains giant man eating freshwater sharks, bigger than great whites. OK, they aren't that big, but I heard they can eat you. It's true! Anyway, I guess I better leave you with a deep thought.

If you ever go crazy, instead of killing someone, like a lot of people do, try to get some weeding done, because man, you'd really be surprised.
-Jack Handey

Peace!
Colin

---

Photos

Managua at night
This is the beauty of managua with the lit fountains