of sickness, oracles, and an upcoming trip to managua and the ocean

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25 October 2010
Monday 9am

My mother in law, Vilma, is still here and still very sick and not eating. Although the doctors in the German Nicaraguan hospital in Managua didn’t find anything, they told Bernardo, my father in law, that she has symptoms of cancer. What kind of cancer, who knows? I have no idea what the oncology departments could do, if there were oncology departments.

The point is, we hope it’s not cancer. But what little she eats, like 3 or 4 spoonfuls a day, she usually throws up. She is basically dying of starvation and dehydration. Lenin and I are doing all that we can by buying special dried milk fortified with everything and buying IV fluids to try and keep her hydrated and buying injections for pain to try and keep her comfortable.

Since medicine is failing, the rest of the family turns to God. The local Moropotano ministry comes in and does prayer sessions in her room, which means there is a production yelling, screaming, and waving about while they all have their hands on Vilma. These usually last half an hour or so. I sit on the porch while these things happen.

Yesterday, Sunday, they took her hours away to see an oracle. I didn’t go, for obvious reasons. The oracle said that Vilma was visited by two black men (re: devils or male witches) and they put a curse on her. Also, they sent a little animal into her room and it ran under her bed and that animal that the devil sent wants to see her prostrated in bed and not be able to get up.

Then the oracle said that she had taken the curse off of Vilma and that she will get better.

She said stuff to Iris and Lenin, too. Lenin has it all recorded on his cell phone.

When they got home, my shoulders were tense and my teeth clenched as I tried to ask how it went without being too cynical and brash. Lenin told me the above story and I said, well ask your father who the two devils were that were talking outside of the house in San Felipe and to make sure there was no animal under Vilma’s bed out there.

I left the kitchen to sit on the porch and calm down and then I went in to see Vilma. I asked her how it went, she said it went fine. I asked if she’d eaten anything today and she said she had a chupeta of banana and milk and she drank some water. She said she was tired, so I told her to rest and I went back to the porch. A few minutes later I heard her throwing up, so went in to help her find the bucket while everyone else was in the kitchen talking about the oracle and how she works miracles and Vilma will get better.

Last night before we went to sleep Lenin and I were talking about his mother and I said, look honey, usually when there is some big decision to be made, Arielle and I play the “what if” game. What if the best happens? What if the worst happens? The best would be that in the next couple of months your mother will eat, gain her strength, and by Christmas she will be strong enough to return to San Felipe, Wiwili. The worst, obviously, will be if this sickness ends her. And then I asked where, when his parents die, will they be buried? In a cemetery out by San Felipe, Wiwili, or here in San Lucas? Here in San Lucas, was the answer.

And I said, honey, we have to hope for the best and be prepared for the worst.

In these hard times, I remember when Lenin fights with me and with his family that it is his fear and anger about his mother that is lashing out at us. I stand by his side and hold his hand as he prays every night, but deep down he knows that I am an atheist. I have never told him this in so many words, but I have told him I have faith in science, humanity, and the glory of nature. And when he asks what about God? I find myself saying that God also created the scientists, gave humanity free will, and created the glory of nature.

There are some battles in life that require compromise.

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In other news, this coming weekend we are headed out of Moropoto. Friday Lenin has his medical exam and his vaccinations in Managua ($185) in accordance with submitting an immigrant visa application ($404). We already submitted the petition for a family immigration ($355)

After the med exams that afternoon we have our going away party at the Peace Corps Office and dinner at the Director’s house. Then Saturday we head to the beach for our group’s personal going away party. Lenin will see the ocean for the first time on Saturday, so I am excited for that!

For those of you who came down for the wedding, we are going to the same beach outside of Leon, but we are staying at the hotel on the bay with all the boats, Barco de Oro but clearly we will be heading over to Playa Roca for the day on the beach.

So that is Saturday night. Lenin wants to head home Sunday by himself, but I am trying to convince him to stay another night since there are no express busses to Somoto on Sundays. I have to stay Sunday night (Halloween) anyway, because Monday, Tuesday (Day of the Dead) and Wednesday I have my final medical exams to make sure I am not taking any diseases or worms home and to go to the dentist and whatnot. Either Monday or Wednesday afternoon I need to run by the embassy and pick up my personal passport, too.

I met Lenin for the very first time on the Day of the Dead, Nov 2nd, in 2008. Exactly a year later, Day of the Dead 2009, we were at the US Embassy having our interview for his tourist visa so we could go home for Christmas.

The other day Lenin was searching the music on my ipod and started to see what the “feliz navidad” music was like. I yelled NOOOOOO I love Christmas music but you CANNOT start playing it in October because it will make me sad. As he was finding another playlist, he said, yes, this Christmas is going to make me sad, too.

I am so incredibly excited to go home and to be there next year for fall and Halloween and Thanksgiving and the start of the holiday season. I LOVE fall and all that it encompasses - new school years, falling leaves, acorns and hickory nuts and walnuts and persimmons, cooler days, carving jackolanterns for Halloween and having trickertreaters and then thinking about Thanksgiving and the food and then it is time to prepare for Christmas and ……oh I miss it!

Le sigh. I think this has gotten long enough. For those people at home, enjoy Halloween and Thanksgiving for me. Christmas is definitely different here, but at least there is Christmas.

PS Four weeks left as a volunteer! I will be done the Friday before the week of Thanksgiving!

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Comments

[Mom]

oh! no!
Molly, I am going to phone you now and see if you have a "minute" to talk. After a short cry. Won't the PC invite you to their Thanksgiving dinner?????? (tsk tsk)

[Carla]

Oracles
I don't know much (actually none) about oracles but I do believe in the power of prayer and the peace that comes with my faith in God and His love for me. I will keep you and your new family in my prayers, keep sweeping the demons from under the bed and hang in there. Hope to see you when you get home.

[Mom]

THE BEACH!!
Molly, THE BEACH!! What did Lenin think of the ocean and the beach???? What was his reaction to all of those seashells washing up onto the sand??? I remember shots you got of the guys in the water playing, but, the beach is so different from that. Did Lenin like it? What did he think of all of that BLACK sand?? It's so fun for ME to think of you guys on the same beach, up near Leon, that we all shared when we were 4 Baades in Nicaragua together. Awwww........ (-: Love you! Both!