Central America - would you like refried beans with that?

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After a (blissfully) uneventful journey from Peru, I arrived in Guatemala city on saturday evening. Once Imy had arrived from London, we got our transfer straight out of GC (murder capital of guatemala anyone??) to Antigua.

Antigua (not to be confused with its caribbean beachside counterpart) is a beautiful colonial town in the south of the country. Waking up to a breakfast of eggs, plantain and refried beans (the latter of which would be a common theme over the next few weeks), we enbarked on what can only be described as the ultimate exercise in time management, namely how to see as many sights as possible in Guatemala in 10 days.

We headed straigt out for lonely planet guided tour of the town (not aided by the lonely planet kindle font size which seems to have the borrowers as its target audience, coupled with the fact that all streets in antigua are numbered, then split into parts which are labelled 'north, south, east and west' on maps, but not on street signs. If only I'd thought to pack a compass). This minor setback aside, we then headed for a coffee plantation tour. Apparently the volcanos in guatemala, along with its climate, make it the perfect location for coffee bean growing! To be honest with my minimal understanding of science they could have told me anything and i'd have believed it. The japanese, at least, appear to, as they are apparently the worlds leading buyer of expensive premium guatemalan coffee!

We then headed off for a typical guatemalan dinner. This consisted off (you guessed it) refried beans, plantain, rice, tortilla, and some strange white goo which I was reliably informed was cheese. Hmm. Things took a turn for the worse when pudding arrived in the guise of a strange fried ball floating in a pool of brown liquid. We made a hasty exit after claiming we were 'just so full' and 'couldn't possibly manage it', and made a mental note to go to the italian the next night.

The next morning we headed out bright and early (again another theme which would continue - I think Guatemalan bus drivers play a 'who can name the most obscene time when setting bus departure times' game) to lake Atitlan, supposedly the most beautiful lake in the world, according to someone I can't remember. It definitely didn't disappoint, and hostelworld coming up trumps with an ecofriendly hotel right on the lake front, at which we were the only guests (!) we spent the net day or so chilling out (mostly inside due to rainy season!!) - before fitting in a quick 8 zip line canopy tour (why not?) and then heading north to Lanquin.

Whilst checking in at the hostel, we noticed a 'bat cave tour' leaving in 10 minutes, so hurriedly dumped our bags and jumped in the bus. A few dozen bats, amazing stalagtitesmites, dubiously named rock formations (the 'tiger' looked suspiciuosly like a toad, and that was only whilst squinting and tilting my head sideways) and a health and safety nightmare later (I practically slid my way around the tour on my hands and knees), we headed back to the hostel for a few drinks and dinner (no refried beans - yay!) before an early night in preparation for our trip the next day to the area's major attraction - semuc champey.

Having not really paid attention to the tour description, I thought we were heading straight to semuc for a relaxing swim in the pools (the site consists of a series of stepped turquoise pools, which are pretty spectacular) I was a bit surprised to find that the first stop was - more caves! I was even more surprised when our guide proceeded to attack my flip flops with string to tie them to my feet, handed imy and I candles, and directed us off towards the entrance to the cave. We then spent the next couple of hours swimming and climbing through the caves, jumping off rocks into the darkness, and clinging to slippery rockside ladders like our lives depended on it. I can now conclude that Guatemalan spanish does not include the words 'health' and 'safety' in its vocabularly, but this minor hazzard aside, it was pretty cool! Resurfacing, we jumped on a tubing trip down the river (from which I know have a rather large bruise as a souvenir - turns out the german guy in front wasn't just being overly friendly by waving and pointing, but was actually shouting 'massive rock!', which I then proceeded to hit - ouch!), and then off to the pools for a swim and a relax. Brill.

The next day we headed off for the bumpiest ride of our lives through the jungle to Rio Dulce, the river which has the Guatemalan entrance to the Caribbean at its mouth. Arriving at lunchtime, we headed out for a horseback ride through the jungle ranch, with a guy called dave who we met on the bus, who we managed to persude to accompany us, despite him claiming that he was terrified of horses! Going round the back of our hostel to meet our horses, we were told their names were the enigmatic 'Zorro', 'Aguirre' and........Larry. Guess which one I was on. Larry did, however, do me proud, by angrily charging ahead whenever either of the other horses moved an inch in front of us (although this charging was irrespective of whether or not it involved me being dragged head first through trees and bushes)!

The next day we headed for the breathtaking speadboat journey down the river to Livingston, the small carribbean town at the end of the river. Reggae, seafood stew and a champions league final later, we headed back down the river to 'hotel kangaroo' - an aussie run jungle hostel built on stilts on the river. The next day we headedout to some natural hot springs for a mud spa, before an interesting chicken bus ride back to town (at one point I counted 22 people,2 dogs and 10 chickens on a 10 man bus!).

We then missioned it up on the bus to Flores, in preparation for our trip to the Mayan Tikal ruins the next day. One (you're guessed it) 5am start later, we found ourselves stumbling through the howler monkey, parrot and tiger ant filled jungle, visiting and clambering over various temples, settlements and sacrificial monuments. Imy and I agreed this was definitely the highlight of the trip - worth the 500 mosquito bites we suffered as a result!

We then jumped on a bus which would take us across the belizeanguatemalan border (which is bizarrely lined with chinese restaurants!). Having been told there was a '90% chance of getting mugged' in belize city, we hastilly jumped on a boat across to caye caulker. On arrival, we congratulated ourselves on achieving the impossible in trekking round guatemala in record time, checked in to the nicest hotel on the island (at 45 quid a night it puts premier inn to shame!), headed to the pool, and proceeded to do practically nothing for the next 4 days - bliss! Rousing ourselves from rum and sunbathing induced stupor, we booked ourselves on a snorkelling trip round the reef. This was - in a word - unbelievable. I think I've given myself neck strain from trying to take in all nurse sharks, sting rays, electric blue fish and eels all zipping around at once. Although our guide, the very un caribbean named 'kevin', announced that 'we still lookin for nemo man'. Shame.

After Imy left, I very reluctantly packed up my stuff, and headed up the coast to Mexico. A quick look in my bank account almost giving me a heart attack, I checked into the cheapest hostel I could find (no air con -eugh) in the beach town of tulum - famous for the ruins of the same name. Being low season, there was only one other guy in my hostel, a rather strange accountant from argentina who announced that he hated his job in the same breath as telling me his name. I thus hurried into town for a planned solitary dinner. Stopping to read a menu for a suitably streotypically mexican looking restaurant, two aussie girls sat outside shouted "come sit down here, it's happy hour!" Plonking myself down, I was happily sipping a margherita when I looked up to see two scouse blokes (day and matt) I'd met in bolivia reading the menu! Thus set up I passed my last few days travelling drinking cocktails and sunning myself on the beach. The tulum ruins were also pretty cool, mainly for their beachside setting (as day put it - if you were an ancient mayan you'd definitely be looking for a transfer there!).

So 3 months, one bag loss, innumerable mosquito bites and countless amazing memories later, I'm now sat in Atlanta airport waiting to board my flight home. Given my luck with transport thus far, I'll probably end up going via japan, but I am pretty excited to be heading homewards to cider, cheddar cheese and toilets that flush. This also means the obnoxious 'i'm having so much fun it hurts' blogs and photo albums are due to stop. Such a shame! Thanks to eveyone I've met along the way and friends from home who've kept me going with reassurements that no one has been having any fun without me. See you all soon!!!!!

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