Massive guns and dirty moustaches


Advertisement
Published: September 4th 2008
Edit Blog Post

Playa El TuncoPlaya El TuncoPlaya El Tunco

Things are looking up – the surf looks good, even if the beach is a bit too rocky and has a bit too much black sand for my liking.
El Salvador has a dirty reputation. It’s famous for its creepy pre-pubescent moustaches, massive guns and the fact that it boasts more prostitutes than tourism. It also gets a bad rap for being dangerous - I can count the number of us gringos I saw whilst in El Salvador on two hands. The local men are mean looking characters - short, ruddy and broad - wearing cowboy hats and requisite moustaches, yet their faces and entire demeanor transforms when they break into a smile. I also discover that they often speak English, even if they claim not to - teenagers on the checkout at supermarkets and random locals on buses and in internet cafes shyly strike up English conversation. One hapless bloke said to me - “You’re from Australia - but you look American?” “Oh no”, I said, “Australians are WAY better looking”!!

After Guatemala, it also seems like there’s more money here - with proper shopping centres and a spattering of nice cars - in fact my Lonely Planet says that El Salvadorians have the highest weekly wage in Central America at around $150 US. El Salvador also seems more westernised than Guatemala in terms of clothing - the
Big Guns, San SalvadorBig Guns, San SalvadorBig Guns, San Salvador

To add to this friendly vibe there are guards cradling M16s everywhere – apparently there are over 18,000 security guards in El Salvador guarding anything from banks, to lingerie shops, even McDonalds!
women here like their tight polyester tops with muffin tops spilling out, but like their neighbours, are often carrying babies or young children around on their hips. The locals here have suffered much oppression - the civil war lasted 12 years and only finished in 1992. Suckers for punishment, they’re also the only Latin American country with troops in Iraq. I decide to come to El Salvador to see it for myself - convinced I was onto an undiscovered gem off the gringo trail.

Coming off a rough night in Antigua, Guatemala celebrating second place in the local trivia competition - myself and my travel mate Charlie - subject ourselves to a day of unplanned spontaneity, chicken busing it to the border. Perhaps we were a little too cocky, perhaps we should have worked out exactly what border we actually wanted to cross - but we arrived, tired and emotional at the most eastern border without a plan. Off the bus - we decant onto a bicycle rickshaw which drives us half a kilometre and drops us off on the lonely bridge into El Salvador. We don our packs and walk from Guatemala to El Salvador. Border control gave
Roadside waiting for the next chicken busRoadside waiting for the next chicken busRoadside waiting for the next chicken bus

Unfortunately catching the buses here is far less easy than Guatemala because generally you’re cradling your pack on your lap because there’s no luggage space on the roof and also because the conductors don’t seem to tell you when to get off.
a quick flick through my passport, but doesn’t so much as look at my face as he concentrates on swatting flies from his brow.

We find ourselves in a dusty, one horse border town; full of guys in cowboy hats sitting around and chewing on hay, or something. A few touts try to convince us of the lack of buses leaving town - that we’d be much better off paying them our life savings for a taxi ride, but we persevere in search of a bus stop. Here we find an Australia fan who recommends the great little seaside resort of Metalio somewhere off the beaten track, not in the book. Perfect - we’re thinking. With no further ado, he books us accommodation and a motorcycle pick-up from the bus for when we arrive. Sorted. Charlie, being American, marvels at how Latin Americans respond so positively to Australians. “Give it a try sometime”, I suggest, “it always helps in a sticky situation”. Famous last words.

I’ve since googled “Metalio Beach” and a lovely slideshow of ideallic sunsets and beach shots comes up. Let’s just say, that our experience there was quite different! There’s no motorcycle pick-up on arrival
The last resort, MetalioThe last resort, MetalioThe last resort, Metalio

Our room has two double beds crammed in after the lady manager realizes that despite whatever Charlie is saying in Spanish, we are not a couple! There doesn’t appear to be any running water and the bathroom and loo is behind a transparent pane of shower screen glass.
in Metalio, its dark and the guy from the internet café by the bus stop warns against wandering far. Internet Café is probably a stretch - the guy from the bare shop with a few Commodore 64s and shaky internet offers to make a call to the hotel, sort something out. That’s when Charlie is almost held up. A massive bloke who looks about as friendly as Chopper (on a bad day) strolls over to the internet joint and pokes Charlie in the chest. Asks him where he’s from, what’s in his bag? Charlie (forgetting my previous advice!) responds ‘the United States of America’ and tells the guy he just has a few books in his bag. Chopper’s posse hangs out by their truck watching as I grab our packs, haul them into the internet café and demand that Charlie follows. In a country famous for its guns, I’m not messing around. I turn to Chopper and tell him ‘con calma, tranquilo’ … which according to the Lonely Planet phrasebook translates as ‘easy tiger’, calm, tranquil, peaceful. Chopper’s mate approaches, apologies follow (!) and they walk off. Remarkable.

Soon after, a hotted up Honda with spoiler, mags and blue
Playa Metalio Playa Metalio Playa Metalio

Playa Metalio’s surf is impressive in the light of day, but we’ve got no problems getting out of there by our outrageously early 8.30am checkout time!
lights arrives to drive us to the ‘resort’. More like a last resort! Our resort resembles a clapped out, motel in Dubbo - shabby and lacking any sort of resort qualities, except for its stretch of beach out front. Our room has two double beds crammed in after the lady manager realizes that despite whatever Charlie is saying in Spanish, we are not a couple! There doesn’t appear to be any running water and the bathroom and loo is behind a transparent pane of shower screen glass. We retreat to the outdoor restaurant and sit down to an ice-cream and cold beer by the black sand beach. However, the calm is soon shattered when the manager’s fat husband with enormous he-breasts throws a bottle of beer across the outdoor restaurant in anger. Terrified - we decide to get a good night’s sleep and get out of there pronto!

Playa Metalio’s surf is impressive in the light of day, though the rubbish littering the black beach is not and we’ve got no problems getting out of there by our outrageously early 8.30am checkout time! It’s back on the chicken buses and we drive along the spectacular ocean road which follows
Playa El TuncoPlaya El TuncoPlaya El Tunco

It’s all surfers here – so pretty much the only pastimes available are surfing, eating and drinking.
the Pacific south - it’s the only Central American country without a Caribbean coastline. Unfortunately catching the buses here is far less easy than Guatemala because generally you’re cradling your pack on your lap because there’s no luggage space on the roof and also because the conductors don’t seem to tell you when to get off. Accordingly, we drive straight past Playa El Tunco and end up in la Libertad. Realizing our error, we pick up a ride back to El Tunco in a truck at the side of the road. Pulling into La Sombra hostel - we find my Irish mates Sarah and John sitting on the balcony! Things are looking up - the surf looks good, even if the beach is a bit too rocky and has a bit too much black sand for my liking. It’s all surfers here - so pretty much the only pastimes available here are surfing, eating and drinking. Sadly, the standard food offering is rice and beans, though the addition of seafood helps. The saving grace are the licuados - a type of fruit smoothie with or without milk and of course ice cold beer, a must in the sweaty conditions. Sarah
Roadworks clownRoadworks clownRoadworks clown

The highlight of my day was a guy at a roadworks site holding a stop sign dressed as a clown!
has found herself a nice spot to sunbath in a local resort and whilst Charlie is investing in surfing lessons, this is where I meet some fellow Aussies - Courtney and Aaron - who are heading the same direction.

After a few days of sun, surf and sunsets in Playa el Tunco, Charlie and I bus it to Joya de Ceren - the Pompeii of El Salvador. It’s a famous world heritage archeological site, a Maya settlement that was discovered in the late 1970´s buried for over a thousand years in ash from the eruption of Volcano Laguna Caldera (there are 21 volcanos in El Salvador!). The site offers an insightful look at the Mayan way of life - but it’s small and I’m under-whelmed by the pedestrian displays, our lax guide and lack of information (partly my fault because it’s all in Spanish)! From here, it’s time for another bus - its hot and kids sip water out of plastic bags (the El Salvadorian drink bottle) and people throw rubbish out of windows. The highlight of my day was a guy at a roadworks site holding a stop sign dressed as a clown!

We get to the city Santa Ana and I like it. Our hostel - Casa Frolaz is a massive home - with huge lounge area, big timber staircase, great kitchen and leafy garden. The owners are wonderful - Javier drives us to the supermarket, his wife does our washing and at night we have a big pasta cook up and watch DVDs. The town itself is relaxed and pleasant and buzzing with activity around the main plaza. There’s a ‘no guns’ sign outside the municipal palace, there’s lots of retail outlets selling whitegoods and furnishings and the grand cathedral is another very clear sign that this is a rich town. Our second day we take a trip out to Lago De Coatapeque - a gorgeous blue lake in the crater of a volcano. We join the rich kids swimming in the lake and admire the nice boats and cars which sit in the driveways of ritzy holiday homes.

From Santa Ana, I say goodbye to Charlie and soldier on to the capital, San Salvador. Whilst I’m no stranger to hectic, San Salvador had lots going on. Stalls selling fake dvds, music, religious statues and street food alongside swish shopping centres and Western chain
Santa Ana Santa Ana Santa Ana

There’s a ‘no guns’ sign outside the municipal palace.
food restaurants. San Salvador boasts the biggest shopping centre in Central America - but the impressiveness of this claim, is somewhat negated by the contrasting city streets lined with high fences, locked roller door shutters, graffiti and barbed wire. To add to this friendly vibe there are guards cradling M16s everywhere - apparently there are over 18,000 security guards in El Salvador guarding anything from banks, to lingerie shops, even McDonalds! It’s perhaps no surprise I see no other tourists while I’m here! Maybe I’m in a dodgy part of town, but before I see my Hotel San Carlos (the Tika bus departure point) - I see the Funeral Home San Carlos. Just across the road from the hotel is a row of funeral homes displaying ornate caskets. As it turns out, the caskets appear to have more creature comforts than my shoebox room with rusty cot! Not to worry, my 2.15am departure is imminent. The luxurious bus is amazing! The best I’ve seen since Laos - there are blankets, pillows, food and movies - bring on Nicaragua! It’s true I was trying to prove something by visiting El Salvador - but I won’t lie, I was happy to get
Santa Ana CathedralSanta Ana CathedralSanta Ana Cathedral

The grand cathedral is another very clear sign that this is a rich town.
out of there.



Additional photos below
Photos: 14, Displayed: 14


Advertisement

Lago CoatapequeLago Coatapeque
Lago Coatapeque

A gorgeous blue lake in the crater of a volcano. We join the rich kids swimming in the lake and admire the nice boats and cars which sit in the driveways of ritzy holiday homes.
The Charlie and Ellen showThe Charlie and Ellen show
The Charlie and Ellen show

Ice cold beer is a must in the sweaty conditions.
Streets of San SalvadorStreets of San Salvador
Streets of San Salvador

San Salvador boasts the biggest shopping centre in Central America - but the impressiveness of this claim, is somewhat negated by the contrasting city streets lined with high fences, locked roller door shutters, graffiti and barbed wire.


6th September 2008

Last Resort is Right Mate!
Shall remember to knock Metalio Beach of my must-see destinations! Glad you're clearing the blog backlog - we Look forward to more (and go on, tease me with some Dublin pics!).

Tot: 0.358s; Tpl: 0.014s; cc: 19; qc: 101; dbt: 0.1365s; 1; m:domysql w:travelblog (10.17.0.13); sld: 1; ; mem: 1.4mb