El Salvador!!

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1. Do stay at a government run site where on suite rooms are free and so is the swimming pool and swings.

2. Do buy a sandwich from the streets of San Salvador as it will only cost one English pound and be bigger and better than a Subway sandwich.

a) eat it everyday for breakfast lunch and dinner and you will be the healthiest man alive.

3. Do rent a shiny new car in San Salvador and get lost in the most dangerous city in Central America, where one person gets murdered every two hours.

a) if youare English you will inevitably be confused with the left hand drive and keep reaching for the door handle in order to change gear.

b) as you reach for the door handle in order to change gear you will for some strange reason, and without realising, until Amar shouts "STAY LEFT", move the car slowly into the lane on the right and nearly clip a car, a lorry and an old lady as you work out that the gear stick is on the other side.

c) do, however, buy a load of 70s and 80s hits on cd and pump them out through your 100 watt Kenwood stereo system in your siny new red rental car.

d) do nearly get stuck down a hill in your shiney new red rental car.

e) do, take the wrong road to a volcano lake and go off road for 2 hours in your shiny new red rental car as it will not be so shiny anymore and the chances of you getting carjacked in the capital city on the way back will be decreased.

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