Transvestite prostitutes and the worlds most unorganised crime!


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Published: March 17th 2007
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The rainy season had finally caught up with us and we decided to forgo a visit to the carribean where they were having even more rain than the rest of the country and instead went to San Jose for a bit of city life whilst we waited for our flight to Ecuador.

We arrived and went to Hostal Pangea one of the hostals recommended by the guide book but only stopped for the one night as there was no atmosphere and the rooms were quite prison-like! We moved the following day to Tranqillo´s backpackers hostal round the corner where there were lots of cool friendly people and pancakes for breakfast every morning!

We went out for a few drinks on our second night, without any recommendations for bars we just went for a wander to see what we could find. The first place we found was a saloon style bar - kind of like the one in Cheers. We were attacted by the sound of what sounded like live music; we only realised once we were in the bar and had bought a drink that the band were awful and managed to murder 4 or 5 songs whilst we were there! The crowd in the bar was also a bit stange, consisting of lots of fat ugly american men and roughly the same amount of beautiful young Tico girls. Being neither fat and american or single we didn´t really fit in so we left after one drink in search of somewhere a little better!

Just round the corner we walked past a bar that was rammed full of people with a real party atmosphere (and free of fat yanks) so we thought we´d join the party. We must have stood out a bit being the only gringos in the bar and were looking for somewhere to sit when we were invited to join a Tico couple. They were really nice and we managed to have a semi decent conversation with them, shouting over the volume of the music! After a few more drinks we ended up hitting the dancefloor with them which started off as fun but then seemed to turn into a bit of a dirty dancing competition! I think the novelty value of dancing with a gringo was far more appealing to them than dancing with each other! Eventually after much bumping and grinding we made our escape back to the hostal! Our interesting evening was topped off by saying good evening to the local cross dressing prostitutes just before we got to our hostal! They were very friendly and were a source of much amusement to all the hostal guests!

Seeing as we had so much time in San Jose we had made ourselves a list of things we needed to buy and museums / galleries we fancied visiting. The first thing on the list was to try and find the artesans market as we had seen some really nice hand carved wooden artwork around the rest of the country and had been waiting to get to San Jose before we bought anything to avoid having to carry it around! We had read that San Jose had a good market but when we went out to look for it all we could find was a short strip of stalls selling tourist tack. Thinking perhaps we had got the directions wrong we went out a couple more times to double check we had found the right place but in the end had to conceed that that was all there was!

We also had some more mundane shopping to do and tried out the local department stores, which was a very bizarre shopping experience. Shopping in department stores in San jose is very complicated and time consuming. You cannot just find the things you want and take them to the till to pay - no that would be too simple! You select the goods you want from each different department and then the staff there take them from you and write a receipt. You then have to go a main cash point to pay for the goods and get a stamp on your receipt. Then back to the department of choice to collect your now bagged goods. With another check of your receipt by security on the door on your way out! Imagine if you were buying goods from each different department, you would be running backwards and forwards for ages.

We decided we should also get a bit of culture since we were in such a big city and headed in search of the numerous art galleries mentioned in the guide book. It seemed our timing was off since most of them were closed the particular day we visited or shut for changeover of exhibition. We did however get to visit the gold museum which is built underground beneath one of the main plazas and super high security, no cameras allowed. The museum was full of ancient gold artefacts, all quite impressive. There was also a pottery exhibition focused on the female form in ancient pottery, so lots of curvy big boobed pots and figurines! Our entrance ticket also covered the currency museum but again it was shut, and no we weren´t allowed to come back on another day to use the same ticket, which was a shame since the Costa Rican currency is pretty cool - big gold pirate type coins and colourful big numbered notes that make you feel rich.

Half way through our stay in San Jose we had the delightful return of our friend Barbi who we met in Santa Elena. In honour of our reunion we decided to cook up a big fat feast and then head out to the student area of town for a few drinks. Our trip to the supermarket for supplies turned out to be an interesting adventure with an 'undercover cop' trying to bust us for buying drugs! It was basically all a big tourist scam: Kev had crossed the road and Barbi and I got caught by the traffic. As Kev was waiting for us a guy approached him, shoke his hand and started talking to him. Kev being a nice kind of guy politely listened until the guy started offering him drugs, bringing his supposed drugs out into the open on a busy street to show him. Kev declined and said he wasn´t interested just as we managed to cross the road.

Suddenly an 'undercover cop' appeared trying to arrest us for buying drugs, which we had not. Very suspiciously the 'drug dealer' did not try to run off when this 'policeman' arrived, he just stood listening like a naughty school boy. Also very suspiciously the 'policeman' had no uniform, no gun and the I.D. we asked to see was a crappy colour photocopy which he quickly flashed in our faces so we had to ask to see it again. We declined to show him our passports, as he requested, unless he took us to the police station. He looked at a bit stuck for a few seconds and then pulled out his mobile to supposedly call for a car, we can only presume. Whilst making this call he obviously decided he was not going to get any bribes or anything out of us, so he shooed us away. It was probably the worst drug set-up scam ever - they need to improve on their acting abilities, their story and their costumes if they hope to get any bribes off anyone.

So after an adventful trip to the supermarket we bought a box of wine to enjoy with some fellow Canadian hostel friends before heading out to the student area of town. It was an enjoyable evening of drunken dancing in a little club before we all headed off home, which was to be our second run of the day into badly organised street crime. As we came out of the club, again on a very busy road with security guards around etc, I noticed a guy kind of forcefully put his hand in his pocket and then head in our direction. He then attempted to mug us, pretending his hand was a gun and only requesting the equivalent of about ten pounds. Following the attempted fake drug bust earlier in the day, we were not interested in wasting time with another scammer, especially since we knew he did not actually have a gun, just a hand pretending to be one! So we point blank said 'no' and he then ridciously proceeded to drop the amount of money he was requesting, again we said no, and then he dropped the amount again to the equivalent of just a few pounds. It was pitiful! Luckily a taxi had just drawn up beside us so we jumped in shaking our heads at the unlucky day we had had with San Jose´s criminal wannabes.


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19th March 2007

impressive
Hi Kev, you guys behave like those crazy cops in some hollywood flick whose partners always end up dead!
19th March 2007

RE: Impressive
Yippekayay Mutherfucka!! Fortunately no one has died yet in the writing of this travelblog! How´s things in the Parkside machine, anyone died there yet????

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