I booked a tour last Thursday through my hostel, the Hanoi Backpackers Hostel. It was called the Ha Long Bay Rock Long Rock Hard tour. I should have realized that when they were talking about rocks, it was not the limestone karst islands or the rock-climbing they were referring to. No, it was the incessant partying that the young crowd on the boat trip did. I guess I'm turning into a cranky old woman, but after sitting in extreme heat and humidity all day long, kayaking for three hours, jumping off the boat and swimming - well, at that point I just wanted some decent sleep. What I got was naked Kiwis jumping off the boat until the wee hours, drunken Aussie girls screaming and playing horrible thump-thump-thump house music on the boat stereo system, and ... read more

Macau reminded me, for some strange reason, of Andorra. Outwardly, they haven't got much in common: Andorra is a beautiful mountainous land set in the midst of the Pyrenees, and Macau is a hilly, humid, coastal resort. Perhaps it is the fact that neither would exist with any sort of independence or income if they hadn't learned to lure people there and take their money. In Andorra, which is fast becoming the Strip Mall of Europe, sales-tax-free shopping and its status as a tax haven bring in the foreign dollars. In Macau, it's the glittering towers of casino resorts that suck up the yuan from China. Apparently the Chinese have a national obsession with gambling, and since it is only legal in Macau Special Administrative Region, they come there in droves to try their fate at ... read more

(I'm going to admit up front that I may be stepping over the line between respecting another culture and making fun of it; but hey - at least I tried!) About two hours (and a little less than halfway) in to my first Cantonese Opera experience, I quietly got up and walked to the lobby. After looking around a little guiltily, I flew down the stairs, out the door, and into the streets with a sigh of profound relief. I should have taken that Cantonese Opera Appreciation class offered by the Hong Kong Tourist Office. Maybe then I would have been able to appreciate the five hours of caterwauling; at least I might have known better than to go in the first place without being good and drunk. The thing is, I usually pride myself on ... read more

I am now a Feng Shui master. No, it's true, at least according to Master Alex Yu, who taught my "Meet the People" Feng Shui class today, courtesy of the Hong Kong Tourism Board. You may recognize Master Yu from - well, who am I kidding, you are not likely to recognize him or his work any more than I did, even though he has appeared on CNN and the Discovery Channel and consulted with such powerhouses as New York Life, Century 21, and Lehman Brothers (Lehman Bros. must have ignored his advice). Some of you may be thinking, "Feng Shui? What a lot of baloney!" or something similar. I went with an open mind, and Master Yu bought himself some credibility in my eyes straight off by proclaiming that Feng Shui is not a science, ... read more

Ornithophobia: An abnormal, irrational fear of birds. It can cause the following symptoms: breathlessness, dizziness, excessive sweating, nausea, dry mouth, feeling sick, shaking, heart palpitations, inability to speak or think clearly, a fear of dying, becoming mad or losing control or a full blown anxiety attack. Come to think of it, my mouth was a little dry, I was sweating excessively, and I was definitely dizzy and breathless as I walked through the treetops in the Edward Youde Aviary in Hong Kong Park today. "Why," you are probably asking, "would you even think about entering an enclosed aviary when you are afraid of birds????" That is a good question, and the answer is very similar to the question of "Why would you travel halfway around the world in an economy-class seat when you are sick of ... read more