opium milkshakes and getting lost in laos


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Asia
November 16th 2011
Published: November 16th 2011
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OK OK I KNOW I SAID I WAS GOING TO STAY AWAY FROM THE HAPPY MENU BUT THE LURE OF THE OPIUM MILKSHAKE WAS TOO MUCH, ME AND THANOS A GREEK GUY FIRDT SHARED A HAPPY PIZZA (pizza made with weed) that didnt do anything so we shared an opium shake... that did do something. THANOS WENT TO BED AND I WENT TO A CLUB WITH MADDY A GIRL FROM AMSTERDAM, I FELT GREAT FOR A WHILE THEN I SPEWED MY GUTS UP IN AN ALLEYWAY OUTSIDE BUT I WAS FINE AFTER THAT AND DANCED AWAY FOR A FEW HOURS AS BEST I COULD WITH EVERYTHING SEEMING TO BE IN SLOW MOTION! i got back to the guesthouse and had the best nights sleep of the trip. apologies about the use of capital letters the caps lock appears to be broken. i got up the next morning and had some breakfast with some people i met in thailand. i then got a bus to the capital vientaine, which is a shithole i stayed there for a day and went to a museum that promised to have enough weaponary to arm all the extras in a rambo movie... lies. dissapointed i caught a bus lak sao in an attempt to find some caves there unfortunately i had mis read the guide book and the caves were no where near lak sao. i arrived there at 2am the only white person in the bus. there was only one guesthouse, which was vile i even had to sleep in my sleeping bag liner for the 2nd time on the trip to avoid being comtaminated by the sheets. there was no sink and only a dirty squat toilet which you had to throw water out of a dirty bucket down in order to flush, the shower head had been left in said dirty bucket so i opted to be minging and not shower that night. THE NEXT MORNING I WOKE UP AND SOON REALISED I WAS THE ONLY WESTERN VISITOR THE TOWN HAD HAD FOR MANY MANY MOONS. PEOPLE WERE LOOKING AT ME LIKE I WAS AN ALIEN LIKE PROPER STARING AT ME, I SOON ALSO REALISED NO ONE SPOKE ANY ENGLISH. MY ATTEMPTS AT FINDING SOMEONE WHO KNEW HOW TO GET TO THE CAVES WERE FUTILEM SO I JUMPED ON A LOCAL BUS TO GET ACROSS THE BORDER TO VIETNAM, THE CONDITIONS WERE CRAMPED AND THERE WERE A MILLION CHICKENS ALSO ON BOARD, I GOT TO THE BORDER AND STARTED PANICING WHEN I READ THE GUIDE BOOK AND IT SAID AVOID THIS CROSSING AT ALL COSTS BECAUSE YOU WILL GET RIPPED OFF! fortunately all went well though and i was through the guards were all extremely nice even though they were all staring saying 'oooohhhh farang' which basically means white person. again i dont think they see many. the bus stopped in a town in vietnam where again no one spoke english but after a few attempts i was lead to a bus in the hope of finding vinh city, again i started worrying when i saw buses for vinh going the other way but i grinned and beared it and i made it there after a few hours. ONCE I GOT DUMPED IN THE MIDDLE OF VINH I GOT A MOTORBIKE TAXI AND ASKED HIM TO TAKE ME TO THE BUS STATION FOR HANOI, WHICH HE DID AFTER A QUICK RIDE AROUMND THE CITY WHICH AT NIGHT WAS QUITE COOL. I GOT TO THE BUS STATION AND JUMPED ON A BUS, WHICH WAS A SLEEPING BUS AS IN THERE WERE LOADS OF BEDS... AWESOME. AND OFF I WENT TO HANOI. WE ARRIVED IN TO HANOI AT 2.30AM AND I TOOK ANOTHER MOTORBIKE TAXI TO A STREET WITH ALL THE HOSTELS. I FOUND SOME BRITS SURPRISINGLY DRINKING ON THE STREET AND THEY SHOWED ME THE HOSTAL THEY WERE STAYING AND I WAS IN. THIS MORNING I WOKE UP TO FIND MADDY THE DUTCH GIRL I LEFT SOMEWHERE IN LAOS WAS IN THE BED ABOVE ME AND WAS WAVING AT ME, AT FIRST I THOUGHT WHO THE FUCK IS THIS BUT THEN I REALISED. SO TODAY WE WENT ON A CITY WALKING TOUR TO A MUSEUM THEN FOR DINNER. APPARENTLY THERE IS A PUB CRAWL TONIGHT BUT I REALLY SHOULD DETOX... WE'LL SEE! julie my friend from worksop is flying out to hanoi and will get here friday so i might have a look see what i can do whilst im waiting

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