Please let our day get better. Please.

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I still hate Hoi-an. It's this bloody hotel. It's appalling. Truly.

The guy at reception whom I spoke to about the noise lied to me. He initially said that the music would be over in 5 mins. Nope. Then he revised it to 15. Then half an hour. That was his longest estimate. 7am came, an hour after my complaint. Still blaring music. So I called reception, not wanting to make another trip down in my PJs. I asked them to send someone up. 10 mins later, still no knock on the door. So I called down again. She said someone had come up. Yet more lies. I insisted that they send someone up immediately. So in a little bit there was a knock on my door from some woman, claiming to be the manager, saying that the noise was not her fault. Oh really, woman? So, you knew that the music was coming, but you didn't warn us, and instead put us in a room right next to it? But that isn't your fault? Really? At least she conceded that it was noisy. No shit, Sherlock. She told me I was tired. Yes. Yes, I was. I wonder why. That remains a mystery to me.

And then, the woman just walks off. No explanations. So I yelled down the corridor. She came back briefly, only to walk away again. So I called reception again. I explained myself again. And again. And again. But none of the employees at this damn hotel speak sufficient English to understand me. But I explained that I could not get back to sleep with that infernal racket and that they had to move us to a better room, away from the noise. So she sent the same woman up. And together, me and this awful woman went to view a room halfway down the corridor. "Is OK?" she asked. No. It is not OK. I don't want to move 2 doors down to an identical room. Funny that. But, she didn't understand, and instead just yelled some Vietnamese into a walkie-talkie. And then she calls reception, and puts me on the phone. I explained myself again. We went to see a room a floor down, but opposite the room corresponding to our room on the floor above. This new room is the same, but with a balcony. The woman seemed to think this means that the noise level will be lower. That is what she was trying to say to me, I think. She is an idiot. I explained myself again. She yelled some Vietnamese again. She called reception again, and I then attempted to explain that I didn't just want the same room on a different floor; I wanted to move to a different part of the hotel that would be quieter. The woman on the other end of the phone says, "So, 2nd floor OK?", and so I repeated myself again. "2nd floor?" was the reply. After an incredibly circular conversation I managed to get her to understand, and she yelled in Vietnamese at the "manager", who yelled back. I sat down and began to pointedly nurse my sore head. This went unnoticed.

But finally, at 8am (2 full hours after I first complained about the noise), the "manager" showed me to a room at the front of the hotel that was much nicer than our current room. But the beds weren't properly made up. Exhausted after gallivanting around the whole hotel in just my PJs, running barefoot after a screaming Vietnamese lady, I said that it would do.

So 10mins later we were in the new room and finally able to get some sleep. That was until some douche from housekeeping barged in to change our key over.

We slept until midday (not surprising, really), and while I was getting dressed another scumbag from housekeeping barged in. Or rather, he tried to; after the first barging incident, I had the sense to barricade ourselves in with the latch thingy. I'm insanely glad I did that, or else the man would have had an eyeful, and I'd have been mortified and might well have murdered him stone cold dead so that his peeping eyes could see no more.

We went out of the hotel for lunch, all of 5 metres away. My food was great; I had egg and garlic fried rice. Mike's noodles, however, had an ant in them. Our waitress was really nice though, and was terribly apologetic, and Mike got his meal changed to the same as mine.

Thinking our day was looking brighter after we had enjoyed our lunch, we came back to the hotel (mistake!) and played pool. So far so good, although Mike managed to beat me after I failed to pot the black on a super easy shot. We thought we'd have a swim. So we got sunbeds, but when we put the pool towels on them, it was more than apparent that they were dirty. No, not dirty: filthy. They had enormous holes in them, and they were unbelievably stained with I-don't-know-what (and I-don't-want-to-know-what). Mike asked the guy at reception to send us clean towels. We waited. They didn't come. So he asked again, only to get some incomprehensible drivel in return. But then, miraculously, a bod turned up with towels. Supposedly clean towels. But no. These were only ever so slightly less stained than the last ones.

I despair of this hotel. The staff are incompetent, and the "manager" was downright rude. None of them speak adequate English, and they all seem to be incredibly lazy, lying to get out of situations and to make their life easier. The shuttle bus that we need to take into town runs at ridiculous times. Basic hygiene standards are not met.

The Hoi An Pacific claims proudly to be a 4 star hotel. They might be, but not on this planet.

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Comments

[Joanne Osen]

Oh Dear
Oh dear, dear, dear, I do hope things look up for you, although you cant really be cross if they dont speak brilliant English as they probably dont get a lot of Europeans. xxxx