Killer Ponchos, Meteors and Chook.....and the old battered banana woman

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December 27th 2016
Published: December 29th 2016
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Crissy decos like we used to makeCrissy decos like we used to makeCrissy decos like we used to make

Hey Kids do you remember making these?
2016. So it all passed by with barely a memory worth after the big meteor strike of 65 mil years ago....huge fucking hole, clouds over the entire planet and a pile of dead dinosaurs...but, other than that, nothing much to show!

Sitting out front of my house. watching the world go by, as the sun fades and the street light takes over, the long shadow and squeaky wheels approach, it's the old woman who sells deep fried (in sump oil I suspect) battered bananas, the little cart is so fucking rickety I'm almost going to offer her a hand but that would be met with either fear and trembling or a job that would have me pushing her little cart 3kms across town, I stay put. She battles womanfully to negotiate the potholes and cracks, at each lurch the wheels wobble alarmingly, hanging hands of bananas sway, still hot oil sloshes and slops out onto the reluctance to assist is also abetted by the fact that the product ain't that flash!

It's that time of year, again, wet's winter and low 20's and endless drizzle with occasional outbursts of abso pissing down. So everyone's about with colourful, slogan bearing, shape shifting plastic ponchos. The locals, of course, have flimsy flapping plastic flailing wildly about them....and arrive totally bone dry.....I, on the other hand, prophylactically encased in layers of rubber, plastic, North Face Everest style waterproofed gear, arrive with innumerable wet patches....How do they do it?........ The other regular occurrence, as regular as the rain, is many cases of these swirling sheets of plastic getting caught up in the motorbike's rear wheel and throwing the rider down the road....and so many of them ending up dead....including a young pommy woman last week!

On a more cheerful note......

And so this is's always a bit on the weird side spending xmas in VN.....the christian fringe sort of get off on it but really only the night before...and since it was a torrential pissing down of, not inappropriately, biblical proportions, it was quite quiet.....and courtesy of the frogs euro thang about celebrating on Xmas eve, most Vietnamese believe Xmas to be on the 24th.....And so, on the actual Xmas day, there's buggerall to notice. A few of the early morning beachside aeroberrations were heaving about in Santa suits wtf I thought....However, at chez moi it was all party time...whoo hoo.....a leg of lamb on the barby, local friends plus Hoa and Van down from Hanoi....and about the first bit of sunshine for weeks.....another great day of food w friends...then Jenga.......always thankful for Dr Bindy's gift of Jenga!! see if this link works....

Last night Ms Tram told me the government have banned fireworks for NYE and maybe also for says they say it's to save money so they can help all the poor people....and the recoverers from all the floods.....hmmmm...sounds like a great idea but....let's see the money!

But that would be such a bummer, well, being such a pyronut I would think that. And in another attempt to get in the Guiness book of records in the category for absolutely hopeless planning....the previous attempt was successful, the Grand Asian Beach Games were held in Da Nang earlier in the year....up to a week before the start, the official DN website still had the games being held in Nha Trang!!......a few days into the games and some athletes were still arriving, from Nha Trang.....

Anyway, in an attempt to outdo themselves the powers that be have produced a stunning
full table.....full table.....full table.....

from roast lamb to blue cheese and battered bananas
schedule for the 2017 International Fireworks. In the past the Int F'works were held over 2 nights, 6 or 7 teams competing, wonderful launchsite by the Han river in the middle of town, music, action and unbelievable reflections off the water giving a double whammy to the effects.......and about half a million visitors came last for next year, they have very cunningly designed a program that they hope will maximise the visitor stretching the firework nights over 2 months....I kid you not....7 Saturdays, from late April to late June....oh yeah, 500,000 people are going to hang around for 2 months! However, being here, anything could happen and I'm not holding my breath about what actual timing might eventuate......but it's going to be v difficult to arrange for travellers!

Next year, next lunar calendar year, is the year of the chicken, well, Rooster if you will....but it gives a nice line for the local expression
chúc mừng năm mới

which is pronounced, more or less "chook moong num oiy"

Let's go...

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