In the Land of Agent Orange and Uncle Ho

---

---

We hit Saigon relatively fresh and get instantly bewildered by this jungle of roaming mechanic beasts. There are estimated 5 million motorcycles filling the streets of the Paris of the Orient. Crossing the traffic-clogged streets poses an interesting challenge, as one basically has to adopt a piecemeal approach, stopping in the middle of a street once or twice while the motorcycles narrowly miss you. But to our own surprise, after a few days, we become quite good at crossing the streets, usually shadowing the natives when they cross the street. Fear is your only red light.

Following the fall of Saigon in 1975, Saigon was renamed Ho Chi Minh City in honour of the late leader of North Vietnam himself. However it seems everyone is still using the old name, despite the revered status of Ho Chi Minh. In Vietnam one cannot help noticing the conspicuous cult of personality that has been erected for Ho Chin Min. Billboard posters and statues of the revered revolutionary hero are ubiquous, his smiling yet solemn face greets us in every city, town and village we visit. I almost expect to see a messianic halo around his head. Against his own wishes, his stuffed body is being displayed in a mausoleum in Hanoi, where on a daily basis thousands of Vietnamese queue up for a chance to steal a glance of the great anti-colonial legend.

The next morning we start exploring the great city with a visit to the War Remnants Museum. The jars of deformed babies aside, by far the most striking thing about the museum is its rather one-sided perspective on the war, the American atrocities, such as My Lai massacre, are prominently documented but the museum fails to mention one single war crime committed by the victorious North Vietnamese forces, such as the slaughter of 300 catholics in city of Hue during TET offensive. Then again, the bias is quite understandable, how many museums there are in Washington that tell you about the underbelly of American history, say, the genocide of the native Americans? The top floor of the museum is the most interesting one with an exhibition on war photographers, from both sides of the conflict, many of whom died while documenting thr war. Another tragic aspect of the Vietnam war, which is still causing lot of misery is the extensive use of highly toxic defoliants and herbicides, in particular agent orange, by the US forces. The Americans unable to win the war conventionally, even with their superior firepower, resorted, in their desperation to commit an ecocide of unprecedented scale, polluting half the country. As a result, Vietnam estimates that 400,000 people were killed or maimed, and 500,000 children have been born with birth defects since the war. A war crime, which no one has been held accountable for.

The Rex Hotel, a grand white palace where war correspondents, spies and top brass once drank cold beer, thrums with vitality. Pretty young women and their western boyfriends slurp cocktails with ridiculous names and extravagant prices. Yet the rooftop pool of the hotel is a perfect getaway from the sweltering afternoon heat of Saigon. We buy tickets for the afternoon of bliss for 4 USD each and all amenities are at our disposal, a real sauna included, my first since departing Finland. Steeming myself first senseless, I plunge into a pool followed by having a cold beer. It's almost like being back home except the girls are prettier.

Our last meal in Saigon will be fondly remembered, not for the food but for the assiduous service. It must be my luscious blond mane because the waiter quite obviously fancies me and lasciviously takes care of my every need, to a great amusement of Nastya. Rarely have I received such an attentive service and I've been to some very fine restaurants in four continents. I'm almost tempted to leave him my phone number alongside the generous tip. Bless him.

In the city, there are many signs of growing prosperity as Vietnam embarks on its own version of the great leap forward. Through a policy of introducing a market economy, known as doi moi, the economic leash was loosened and Saigon has become the metropolis of capitalism. The children of upper party echelon, those who are more equal than others, slide through the heaving traffic in gleaming, chauffeur-driven Mercedes and the general population looks more to neon shrines of consumption for direction than to the teachings of Uncle Ho.This is capitalism's wild east, the new paradigm of communism seems to be to get rich as fast as you can by all means necessary. Unfortunately as a traveller, this sometimes mean we are not getting a good value for our money, i.e. you have to be constantly wary of not being ripped off, let alone getting conned.

After five days in Saigon, some calm and beach life are sorely missed. We take a sleeper bus, one of worst rides we have had in Asia, to the Vietnam's most popular beachside resort, the town of Nha Trang. The bus arrives at 6am, we get off, find an open cafe for a caffeine fix and head to the beach. Our plan is to stay one day on the beach and leave the same night with yet another sleeper bus. The scenic beach is 6 km long dotted with palm trees and there are plenty of sun worshippers about. We rent a couple of beach chairs for a few bucks, and enjoy the sea and the sun, not to mention the huge crowd of Russian tourists surrounding us. We are about to leave the beach when we get approached by a woman selling seafood. After some commercially savvy negotiations, we get a huge platter of crabs, prawns, scallops and clams for 5 USD, probably the best value meal we have ever had, a similar seafood platter in New Zealand cost about 50 dollars..

Having endured two badly slept nights in a sleeper bus in a row, we need a good hotel to recover, and we find just a perfect one in Hoi An with a spacious room that comes with all mod cons, a swimming pool and a flatscreen telly with HBO. We check-in, zombiewalk into our room and collapse for half a day, waking up late in the afternoon. Hoi An is another UNESCO site known for its atmospheric Old Town, full of winding lanes and Chinese-styled shophouses. What's more, Hoi An is one of the few places in Vietnam which was, more or less, spared from the destruction of the war, the old town actually has some old buildings to admire. However the city has not escaped the tentacles of capitalism, there are more than 400 tailors in the city, all competing for the tourist's dollar. In fact, the whole Old Town is primarily serving the tourist industry. However, we manage to escape by renting a scooter and driving to a beach, 5 kilometers outside of the city. We have a great afternoon on a serene beach, there's only a handful of westerners and hundreds of locals. Back in town, we indulge in a gastronomic orgy of 7 course meal of meticulously made local dishes, such as cao lau and white roses, a type of shrimp dumpling made from translucent white dough bunched up to look like a rose.

The next leg of the journey is the most scenic one we have enjoyed in Vietnam, a train from Danang to Hue. The four hour journey is filled with adoring exclamations as the train traverses along the spectacular coastline. We arrive to Hue by the sunset, decide not to take a taxi but after walking with our backpacks for an half hour we realize we've been following a wrong river and decide to take a taxi after all. The next day is the culture vulture day, we spend the first half of the day exploring the Citadel, the former home of the imperial family, that was built in a same fashion as the Forbidden City in Peking. The citadel was bombeb into pieces by Americans in 1968 as it was captured by Viet Cong in a surprise attack during TET offence. Hue is by the way the city, where the battle depicted in Full Metal Jacket took place. In afternoon we take a taxi to visit the most interesting site in Hue, Ho Quyen, an obsolote tiger fighting arena, where back in the days of the imperial family battles between tigers and elephants wete staged. The arena is not mentioned in many guidebooks, probably as we discover, because it's not open for tourists and all the gates are locked. However we find a man in uniform who has the keys and who is more than happy for a small bribe to open the gates for us. 5 dollars change hands and voila, the gates are open and I don't even have to say open sesame! The arena is not of Roman proportions, but impressively solid, still intact, and unique in the history of Asian architecture. It consists of two thick, circular walls around an earthen rampart, with stairs leading to the top of the wall, one set reserved for the Emporer and his family, and another for the rest of the court and commoners. There are seperate entrances for elephants and tigers. If you wondered who won the fights, it was always the elephants as the tigers got their claws and fangs removed before the battles. The fair game was apparently not as important as ensuring that the symbol of the Emperor was always victorious.

From Hue, we take a night train to Hanoi, another interesting new experience, arriving at Hanoi 5 in the morning, having coffee with local retirees before getting picked up for a 3 days cruise in Halong Bay. The Bay of Descending Dragons as the magical bay is known in Vietnamese, has 1969 vertical limestone islands and is justly considered as one of the wonders of the world. This is one of those places, where words simply do not do justice to, hence we merely post some pictures for you to appreciate the unique beauty of this unearthly place.

Back in Hanoi, we celebrate our last night in Vietnam with our new friends Tobi and Christine. We go to see a famous water-puppet show, which has essentially remained the same for centuries but still manages to be very impressive. After the dose of traditional culture, some local fresh beer is due. We finish off our stay in Vietnam with a few pints of bia hoi, sitting outside in a tiny street bar filled with cheerful chatter of locals. Good bye Uncle Ho, we will miss you.

“You can kill ten of our men for every one we kill of yours. But even at those odds, you will lose and we will win.” - Ho Chi Minh

---

Comments

[San Diego]

“You can kill ten of our men for every one we kill of yours. But even at those odds, you will lose and we will win.” - Ho Chi Minh eli Raptorin sanoin "yksi suomalainen vastaa kymmenta ryssaa / ei taida riittaa, johonkin se tyssaa

[Anastasiya and Kalle]

So many assholes... So few bullets... - Ford Fairlane