welcome to babylon.....

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this was the last statement lane (the buddhist vegan we met in pakse) made in his email to me about vietnam. when i received it, i'd been there about 15 hours, and i was inclined to agree. hordes of traffic bustling down narrow streets, people constantly trying to yell at me and sell me stuff, and looming crumbling concrete and grey skies. babylon indeed.

i confess, it's been a while since my last blog, and i also have to regretfully say that you're unlikely to see any photos any time soon. hanoi is draining all my energy, and uploading photos is not a task that my severely depleted reserves of patience are really up to. so i'll try to explain as well as i can in words, and you can have a look at some photos soon, i promise.

it's christmas day today, and the streets are awash with young local guys driving motos dressed in santa suits. fake santas, almost as tall as me, move eerily from side to side with saxophones in their hands. there's tinsel and other decorations, and christmas lights, but it doesn't really seem to mean anything at all.
to mark the occasion, i did what's probably the vietnamese version of going to mass. i went to see pickled uncle ho.

this was an experience akin to seeing pickled mao, right down to the weird yellow light that illuminated his face. we were herded past, two by two, quickly glimpsing the great man, and then moving on. what this had, which the mao-soleum didn't have, was a museum. we quickly strolled through the boring buildings where the great president had once lived, and moved on to the museum. the first floor was dedicated to photos and snippets of propaganda speeches, but the second floor was something else entirely. popular images from 20th century western culture, mostly art-, music- and film-related, were arranged in weird and artistic displays (for example, a room of cubes, some of the faces were mirrors, and some pictures printed on transparent glass, making for a disorienting, maze-like experience), with an explanation printed on a plaque beside them. this explanation would inevitably be something to do with how these images fitted in with some kind of communist moral or virtue than uncle ho espoused, or wished his people to. the link between the pictures and the plaques was pretty obtuse, and i definitely wouldn't have understood what they were talking about, in most cases, if it weren't for the plaques. it was enjoyable as artwork, but i don't know what else.

apart from that strange experience, i've bought my ticket to sapa for tomorrow, and eaten some tasty mock-meat for lunch at the whole earth cafe. i'm feeling pretty satisfied.

so, now to go back to the beginning.
in the taxi from the airport, as we approached hanoi city, i started to feel a little uncomfortable. everything seemed to be turning grey, and noisy, and generally insane. suddenly the road was full of motorbikes, with more crammed in those two lanes than i had ever thought possible. it's 5 o'clock, i thought to myself; it's rush-hour, they're coming home from work. it can't possibly be this bad all the time.
oh, how wrong i was.
i was dumped outside a little lane that apparently housed the guesthouse i'd pointed at. feeling disoriented, and definitely like i'd descended into the pits of hell, i found my way down it and started looking for any likely guesthouse.
after running around between three different places for about half an hour, i was finally able to dump my pack in my $7 double room with mouldy-smelling bathroom and tv. ahhhh. not so bad. i had wanted something cheaper, but unfortunately, no luck there. never mind.

i headed out for dinner, with the vague idea of walking into the first place i saw that looked as though it would have an english menu, eating, then hoping i could find my way back to the guesthouse. i nearly got run over at least three times - but i was prepared for that. staring moto drivers in the eye, i inched and weaved my way across roads, making sure not to make any sudden movements.
i found myself walking behind some english lads with a lonely planet in their hands. they went into a restaurant off to the right, and, after a quick hesitation, i followed them, saying "i hope you guys don't mind if i follow you?".....the waiters seated us at a table for three and we quickly got chatting. john and dan were two months into an 11 month trip around south-east asia, and were generally the sort of british lads you expect to find travelling - likeable, friendly, and generally interested in getting a bit pissed when the opportunity presented itself. we moved on from the restaurant when we realised how fancy and how out of our price range it was, and instead headed to a place they'd been to the night before. from here ensued a night of camaraderie and much consumption of beer. "let's make a pub crawl of it!!" i said at one point, and they happily agreed, so we staggered around to various places we found in "the book", and various others along the way. they were leaving the next afternoon, and i was just arriving, so it was a fitting kind of tour of hanoi by night for both parties. at the end of the night, we went our separate ways, saying goodbye with hugs and drunken smiles. i gave them my email address and told them to come and stay with me when they get to australia next year.

the next few days were spent in a kind of grey, bleak, haze. i got lost a lot (semi-intentionally), and walked around feeling incredibly grumpy and hungry and wanting to scream at every moto driver i saw ("wo! wo! (clap, clap) miss! miss! moto! moto!"..... "can't you fucking see i have two legs? i'm actually quite ok to use them!". sigh. i know they're just trying to get by, but really. clearly if i'm ignoring them and walking very fast away from them, i'm not interested. i wish they'd get the hint, instead of assuming it's cos i'm deaf or something). i wasn't liking hanoi at all. i stayed in my room and worried about getting pneumonia from the amount of moisture in there (my clothes always felt damp when i put them on), and watched crap tv on the hallmark channel. tried to ignore all the christmas adverts.

i wasn't really sure why i was in hanoi, or what i was doing with myself, and i couldn't summon the interest to go and do anything touristy, so after a couple of days of this, i thought, enough's enough, i'm going to book a tour to halong bay.

the tour seemed like a bit of a shambles from the start, but actually, i wasn't doing it cos i thought it'd be fun. i was doing it cos i had hardly spoken to anyone in three days, and i wanted to just meet some people and hang out. which worked out pretty well, actually. in the minibus to the ferry terminal, i chatted to russ, an english bloke who plays in punk bands, is vegetarian, and is travelling alone in vietnam. he was cool, and we talked about music a whole lot (which was good, because it's about the only thing i can seem talk about these days, apart from travel, obviously), and got along great. on the boat i met chris, an american guy, also travelling on his own, and also into punk. we quickly made a little trio. it turned out that chris is headed to the same places in china as i am, at about the same time, so we'll be bumping into each other on the way quite a bit. there was also rita, a dutch lady, and tim and his girlfriend (i think her name was sharon, but we actually never exchanged names) - vegetarians from australia, yay! there were a couple of others who seemed to be doing slightly different things to us, but the six of us got through the whole tour together.

so we got to the ferry and got on an old junk. to get to our particular one (there were at least ten other tour groups all trying to get on boats), we had to climb over other junks, and eventually we found ours. we moved a little way out from the harbour, and then anchored up again and ate lunch, which turned out to be the best meal we had the whole time (it wasn't that great, either). our guide (whose name might have been tsin, but we wound up referring to him as hoi, for some reason), it transpired, was a tv or computer salesman who occasionally filled in for his friend and did some tour-guiding. he was sick that day, snuffling and coughing, with sweat pouring off him. the sky was looking very very grey. the tour was off to a good start.

the day, we went to a small island in the halong bay area and had a look at some caves. the first one, whilst stunning, was lit up like disneyland or something, with bright coloured lights everywhere, and a very unnatural-looking "natural" spring. the second cave was better, with more natural lighting effects, and we followed the tourist trail around there. then it was back on the boat for a cruise around the islands. we dropped off a couple of people at cat ba island to stay in the hotel overnight (they were on the 2-day trip, the rest of us were on the 3), and then headed back out to sea. after a while, we had some dinner and i taught the two other aussies how to play big two and shithead. having never played shithead before, only watched, it was a little difficult to remember all the intricacies of the rules, but our version, if it was different, still worked just fine.

the next morning we were woken up bright and early, after a diesel-y sleep, to go kayaking. i wasn't too sure about kayaking, but in the end thought, what the hell, it'll probably be fun. i took all the important stuff outta my pockets and headed over to the boats. rita and i were sharing, and she nimbly hopped in first. i got one foot in and promptly managed to overturn the boat, tipping both of us in.
oops.
well, more than oops, as it turned out. rita was pretty unimpressed, as she had her camera on her at the time, and some words were exchanged about insurance, and liability, and so forth. i sat in the dark in the room for a moment and brooded over my soggy pants and now-diminished financial situation. how much would she want me to shell out?
but i was very organised about it all, which i think eased both of our minds. we discussed it all straight away, and i ended up giving her about 100 euros ($150 US) to help with buying a new camera, when we got back to hanoi. after we'd talked it out, the tension eased, and we could both enjoy the rest of the trip.

the rest of the trip involved going to cat ba island, and trekking around the forest and up the mountain there. i don't think i ever look like i'm having fun when i'm scrambling up rocks, and a lot of the time i don't even feel like i am, but i always feel good at the end. good because i've achieved something, i've just climbed this big mountain/hill/whatever, and i've had some exercise, and also because i've solved the puzzle. i guess that's how i look at rock climbing - it's like a problem-solving thing of where to put your hand or foot next, which way up is going to be the easiest and has the best hand- and foot-holds. it's not like the climb was very hard, but it made me feel good.

after that, we checked in to our nice hotel, ate lunch (disappointing food once more - the meals on the trip for me mostly consisted of white rice, cabbage, and crinkle-cut fries. ok for one meal, but for four?), and then headed out to explore cat ba. russ and chris walked with me, and we found ourselves in the more residential area. nearly got lost, then made our way back in time for tea. after tea we went for a few bia hois (bia hoi is the draught beer they sell on the side of the road for only a couple of thousand dong - about 30c), then retired to bed at the respectable hour of 11pm.

the next day was devoted to getting back. the bus was delayed, and then "the machine" in our boat was broken, and we wound up on board the coast guard or something. the six of us were kind of pissed, but generally regarding it as a disorganised silly adventure we'd all been unlucky/lucky enough to experience. the boat linked up with another boat (i don't think it was ours, but it was also broken), and towed it back to the ferry terminal. after a very quick lunch, we were hustled into separate mini-vans (tim and sharon in one, the other four of us in another, which, incidentally, had two free seats, ?), another testament to the disorganisation that reigned supreme on this trip, and finally, finally, made it back to hanoi.

babylon.

chris, russ and i managed to find rooms at real darling cafe, a nice cafe and guesthouse where we'd booked our tour tickets. lane had actually suggested i stay there, as they were helpful and friendly, and had cheap dorm rooms ($3, or $4 for the quieter one with its own bathroom. i splashed out and went for the $4 one). we went out for mock-meat dinner and some beers (russ doesn't drink but chris and i got stuck into it), and chatted about travel plans and sexual frustration and all the pretty girls riding past on the back of motorbikes. there were so many of them. so many motorbikes in general, actually, it was mad - more than normal, which is really saying something.

and then it was time for bed.
so, that takes you up to today. my xmas presents to myself were a tuning fork, because i lost my tuner somewhere along the way, and some vegan chocolate.
merry christmas gunk!

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Comments

[Marmee]

Merry Tuning Fork day
Shame about the camera, and the diminution of funds... but well sorted out. Onward and upward Gunk! What adventures you are having. We missed you here, but ate Vegan chocolate torte, rice paper rolls and cashew rice salad in your honour. Merry Christmas, and thanks for the presents. Love you, marmee