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Published: November 28th 2006
After over nine months of being on the road, two fatherly arms wrapped around me in a familiar embrace. We had spent two days in Bangkok, hopped on a bus and then a ferry to finally get us to the island of Koh Samui off the east coast of Thailand, where my dad and his girlfriend, Rebecca, were waiting to welcome us to their adopted country. The two live half of their lives wallowing in the wonders of Thailand, and now I could finally see for myself this place I had heard so much about. It was thrillingly wonderful to be with family again. As a pre-welcome back gift, Dad sprung for a delightful private bungalow right at the seaside…I objected but not too forcefully! For the first couple of days Griff and I walked around in a sort of daze…things were sparkling clean, people were gentle and soft-spoken, there were no cows roaming the streets nor were there leapers begging for change. Thailand’s resort island was a striking contrast to the urban jungles of India and we drank it in. Dad was insistent on us taking it easy for a couple of days- I was still getting over my issues
Thai Cabaret Girl
These "ladies" were all glammed up for a super-cheesy lip-sync show that had us applauding and hollaring for more! Brava!that started on that fateful train ride in Varanassi, and both of our stomachs had taken a two-and-a-half month beating in India. We relaxed on the golden sands of the beach, drank tropical fruity drinks, and slept soundly on our gigantic bed below our ice-cold air-conditioner. I purchased a few sarongs, which became my permanent attire for the upcoming weeks in Thailand…here I could show my shoulders and calves without the locals gawking at me, and boy did those ankles and shoulders have some tanning-up to do!
After catching up on some much needed rest, eating food that was not a petri dish of bacteria, and getting a healthy bronzing, we headed back into Bangkok for a few nights. This time through the city we stayed in Sukhumvit instead of the infamous backpacker area of Koh San Road as we had done when we first arrived. Koh San Road consists of a mostly younger crowd of backpackers who have two things in mind; shopping and partying. Catering to this crowd, the Thais have ingeniously converted places like gas stations and VW vans into funky hang-outs with plenty of Singha and Chang to be had. Sukhumvit, on the other hand,
caters to a completely different crowd; beer-bellied men, past their middle age-stage who are lonely and looking for something resembling love. They find all the liquid confidence they need in one of the many clubs lining the strip and surround themselves with gorgeous, giggly Thai women. The phenomenon is amazing- needy people accompanied by other needy people in an attempt to fill the void and find an escape from their lives of lonesomeness or poverty. We realized after a few days in this part of town that we were the odd ones out and were not doing a good job of fitting in with our lack of belly, not to mention that we didn't quite meet the age requirement for the area...we moved on.
We ended our tour through Thailand with a bang and went north from Bangkok to Dad and Reb’s home base- Chiang Mai. Chiang Mai is a funky town with a touch of bohemia mixed with the ancient. After being there only a few hours, we understood why a person would want to settle down there- the pace is much slower than in Bangkok but is still overflowing with fun to be had. We chilled out
in cool coffee shops, sang Karaoke, visited a temple, went to local markets and took many-a- motorcycle ride through the city and countryside.
Thailand is certainly a wonderful country- it is easy and comfortable to travel within, the accommodations are clean for the most part, the shopping is fantastic, in all honesty we were expecting something a little more, well, "difficult".
We’ve been reminded of a few essential keys to living a good life as we observed the Thai people. They are generally fair and honest people willing to help you out if need be. The pace of life here is faaaar from hustled and panicked. We found that it took a bit of time to break down the walls that we had built up to protect ourselves in India. When a child was pestering me to buy some flowers and continually tapped my leg after I had said, “no” many times, I instinctually grabbed his hand, looked him straight in the eyes and said, “No touching!” Certainly in almost any culture incessant pestering and touching a stranger is not appropriate, but in India it is considered an act of massive disrespect. I was so serious about the
Bangkok Canals
We took a ride through the canals and saw a more domestic side of Thailand. matter that the little fella pulled away and then shot out his arm again to slap me as hard as he could before bolting away. I'm pretty sure that this is the first time any westerner had reacted the way I did and I probably scared the heck out of the kid. I realized what I had done and we all had a good howl over it, but I had to purposefully re-train myself to be more gentle. I had to remind myself that it IS okay to smile at strangers and to tell doting mothers that their children were adorable, both actions are faux-pas in India.
I realized that as much as India had taught me about compassion, it had taught me to toughen up and just “survive”. I found myself not liking my constant state of un-trust… where was the happy person I used to be? Slowly I morphed into myself again but it took some major self-evaluation and escaping to a tropical island to get there. Being a “humanitarian” is not as glamorous as it sounds and oddly enough it can make you into a harder-hearted person than you were to begin with. Delhi, the city
that had greeted us upon our entrance to India, we were shocked and broken by the deprived, homeless, sick, hungry, filthy people that met our eyes. When we passed through this same town on our way out of India, we reacted differently to what we saw. Though the city’s engulfing poverty still touched us, we were not nearly as raw. Had we become less empathetic or just less western?
Our visit in Thailand assured us of a two things…
As tough as we had become in India, there is still a couple of fun-loving spirits tucked underneath our now-less-pasty skin. The happiness and hospitality of the Thais brought that out in us once again. We also remembered that hope is never to be abandoned. In the case of Thailand, the people who by western standards should be wallowing in misery, due to their lack of "comforts" have picked themselves up and made the most out of their lives. As westerners we often get caught up in the idea that to be happy one must have a lot of stuff (a home, a car, a retirement plan) to be truly happy, and we feel sorry for those who do not
have these things. The Thai people reminded us that happiness is not born from financial investments or gain, most of the Thais place great importance on family and friends and making you feel right at home. Happiness dwells in a place far from our pocketbooks and is not dependant on our monetary situation.
It was overwhelming to be in India; to get caught up in all that was happening (or not happening) around us. But Thailand reminded us that humans are not created to work without ceasing. This will be a tough lesson to remember in our lives after our return home to a nation that is known world-wide for being obsessed with work. (You wouldn’t believe the number of times we have heard things like, “You Americans are working all the time, you have no time to really live, much less learn about the world by traveling.” while traveling.) Sadly, we are the only Americans we have met this entire time who are traveling for an extended period of time, however we have met literally hundreds of Australians, Europeans and Israelis who are traveling for months or years on end. Being a hard worker is a great virtue,
but working too hard can make us into something we are not supposed to be.
And so, this trip to Thailand has struck a chord in our beings- we've both been able to uncover the places deep down inside of us that remember our childhoods and how good it feels to just let go of worry for a while. Our attitudes and actions were rebuilt on the muscle memory that Thailand brought out in us as we dove into the country’s warm clear waters to take a peek at the ocean world with air tanks on our backs; as we whooped for the cabaret girls lip-syncing to ultra-cheesy tunes; as we tumbled in the surf on deflating air mattresses; as we curved around country roads on a motorcycle with the wind in our faces. We are alive. We are free. We are hopeful.
Well dust off your thinking caps
Solar powered plastic plants
Pretty pictures of things we ate
We are only what we hate
But in the long run we have found
Silent films are full of sound
Inaudibly free
Slow down everyone
You're moving too fast
Frames can't catch you when
You're moving like that
-Jack Johnson lyrics from "Inaudible Melodies"
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Remembering we are still nice people
Happened to come across your blog while just strolling through the site. I am currently living and blogging from Italy. Great post! I especially liked your line about being a hard worker is a virtue but working too hard makes us into something that we are not supposed to be. I couldn't agree more. We are impressed by how people here in southern Italy have a lot less than the average American (we're American) but seem to be happier and live life more slowly and fully.