Day 29: Cock Rock and Two Smoking Pizzas

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September 30th 2018
Published: September 30th 2018
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That’s my best wordplay so far I think.

The morning signalled our next running adventure. Carried by meg through the frying pan heat we went to Grandpa and Grandma Rock. This is where the wordplay comes in…

Basically the legend of Grandpa and Grandma rock is that Grandpa and Grandma had decided it was time for their son to be wed as he had come of age, as you do. They had then set out to cross the gulf to another island to court the daughter of another family for him. However they died at sea and turned into the rocks, as you do, to reveal their honourable intentions to the other family. Makes sense right? The thing is that these rocks are, well, genitalia shaped. Oh sod the niceties. It’s a cock. It’s a big cock rock erect and triumphant directing itself at the sea. Right next to it is a big vagina rock which you can see from another angle. Super awkward. Super funny.

We continued on our run back through the town, covering close to 7km in total, wisely deciding to stop before we burnt to a crisp in the searing sunshine. After a couple of hours in the hotel room, which incidentally had no air conditioning so didn’t help the heat issues, we then set out to see the Lamai viewpoint. This involved walking towards the earlier visited cock rock, but turning right and heading through a slightly forested area.

This place was weird. It was linked to another tourist attraction called the “Valentine Stone” which was basically a heart shaped pair of rocks on top of a pillar. Not impressive and we think it was there to elicit the ability to charge people for the viewpoint. It was 100baht each and inside the entrance it all got a bit surreal, romantic music played in the background whilst a fish spa pond rippled. Describing it makes it sound tranquil and relaxing but honestly it felt more unnerving and creepy. We had the offer to use the hill lift to get us to the top but we are neither elderly nor unfit so proceeded to climb up instead. Another fantastic view, which was all the more enjoyable with a fruit shake and the late afternoon cool breeze that had taken over.

The evening was spent at an inexpensive restaurant having pizzas (7/10) before continuing our ongoing pool series in a bar off the side street. The road itself was like something out of scooby doo, with about 6 similar bars on each side of the road all with a small bar with stools next to a solitary pool table. We did spot a larger pool hall on the main road but both nights we had been here so far seemed to host a large amount of women sat at the bar looking very “Lady of the Night” like, which put me off a bit.

Steps: 22,416

Top tip: Don’t take kids to grandpa and grandma rock, it opens the door to a lot of conversations best saved for puberty.


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