From Beaches to an army of Bargirls

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April 29th 2008

Published: May 4th 2008

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AGROjazz

Krabi province

Thailand is full of scams. Now that I've been here a fair amount of time I feel that I know my way around the block and a lot of times it's like 2nd nature not to believe anything that comes out of anyones mouth. Travelling with Sully has been interesting because he's so new to Asia. He's learning quick and said it right. When someone says something to you there's 5 way they're trying to fuck you and you have to take a minute to think of the 2 best ways you'll get the least fucked.

He hasn't been entirely culture shocked per say but I see he has been a bit overwhelmed. And I don't blame him Thailand is an overwhelming place! It's an all out assault on your senses. You have to constantly think of what your doing, and figure out who to trust and who you can't trust. You can't point your feet at people and have to remove your shoes before entering most places including stores. (Sometimes harder to remember than one might think). There are giant pictures of the King towering above you everywhere you look. Giant temples and monks walking around. Buddha offerings are

Bargirl

Just a couple of the 1000's that line the streets

everywhere. Of course those aren't negative things, just different from home. Offers of Ping Pong shows and pussy smokes cigarette, pussy writes letter etc etc (What the fuck?!) offered by creepy old tuk tuk drivers. Armies of thousands of bargirls and prostitutes dancing under and overwhelming display of neon lights and loud music beside families of tourists and children. Dancing topless ladyboys on the streets. Most of the time their bodies almost perfect like a female yet their faces look very rough and manly. Others look so much like girls that you just can't tell. People walking around with laser guns, stun guns, toys, hammocks, tailor shops, iguanas, eagles and monkeys on leashes. Vendors cooking up all kinds of food right on the street including insects and then like magic the entire food stall drives away because it's attached to a motorbike. Motorbikes honking and passing by you in every direction. It's a place that seems to be lawless and extremely random. The sights, the sounds, the taste of ultra spicy food is sometimes a bit much to take in all at once!

I can go on forever about the overall randomness of the place. I've been so used

Krabi province

to it, that it's so normal to me. I guess coming from places like India, and Vietnam the place seems so calm to me. By all means I haven't forgot how crazy this place is but it just doesn't phase me.

We managed to avoid most but not all of the usual overcharging scams to get transport from Koh Samui to Krabi. Ahhh Krabi I love this town. It's a small nondescript tiny Thai town with the only real interesting thing is the night market where dozens of food stalls cook up all kinds of authentic Thai goodies for cheap. Another great thing is it's completely void of what I mentioned above. No ladyboys, no girlie bars, no craziness. We opt to stay in town and do day trips to the beaches of Ao Nang, Rai Lay and the Phi Phi Islands. Rooms in a guesthouse are just $4.00 (120 bhat) or so dollars and the people are incredibly friendly. The family who ran our guesthouse kept us well fed by inviting us to join them in their family meals each and every night. One one night they invited us to a nightclub. This is my third time to

Bamboo Island

Krabi and I had no idea that such a small town had large modern nightclubs. We predrank at a very Thai, country and rock bar and then headed to the club. It was pretty cool being the only foreigners there because that's hard to find in a place like Thailand. We met some friends at the bars and hung out and then later they presented us with the bill for the group of 6 haha. The only problem with being in Asia is as a foreigner you're pretty much a walking wallet. It seemedpretty rude of them but it wasn't in a overly malicious way, it was so cheap that we didn't put up a fuss anyway. Maybe we should've. It's the way things work in these countries, mainly because a lot of times all these people have at best in a few hundred baht notes.

Krabi province is the most beautiful in all of Thailand. Towering above you on land and sea and giant limestone cliffs eroding away. The ocean is always such an amazing colour and the beaches are spectacular. Some of the worlds most beautiful. It's absolute paradise. You can swim in the crystal clear waters

Krabi Food Stall

On the streets is where you find the best and cheapest food

with schools of colourful fish and snorkel among all kinds of live coral. We were able to somehow get a speed boat trip to Phi Phi and the surrounding islands for the price of a large slow boat. So we got to see a lot more. Words can't describe the beauty of the place and only pictures can do it justice. Koh Samui, Phuket etc are also very beautiful, but really nothing compared to Krabi and Phi Phi and no trip to Thailand is complete without going there. Bamboo Island was my favorite. By far the nicest beach I've ever been to.....and I've been to lots of beaches! Once again, it's simply paradise.

The travel agent who gave us a great deal on the speed boat told us she'd give us a good deal on a bus ticket to Phuket. She said only 1 bus daily goes there and it's often full, we should book now. Only 240 bhat. We headed straight to the bus station instead and learned that there are busses every hour for 130 -150 bhat. As usual never trust anyones opinion and always get a 1st, 2nd and third opinion and if they don't match

Patong

The Main street and the chaos!

try and find your own way. If I have one piece of advice for someone travelling through Thailand is to take the Government busses and trains. Private operators are usually always more expensive. There's are all kinds of scams, such as dropping you off slightly outside of town so you have to buy their overpriced taxi service into town. The busses are in great condition. And there's is less theft. You don't see as many tourists taking the local transport, but plenty of locals. The toughest part is figuring out what is government and what is private. Government oporators don't seek you like private operators do. If someone is calling you over to buy a ticket ignore them. The guidebooks are a big help on this.

Arriving in Phuket's Patong Beach is exactly what I described in the first two paragraphs and more. We managed to find a hotel room for just 300 bhat ($9.00), but we soon realized that it is located on a gay street. The street is lined full of boy bars and boy massages places and as we walk by gay men and ladyboys call for us to join them. It gives me the creeps

Railay Beach

late at night when they hiss at us, especially when I was alone......yikes! The beach in Patong is OK, nothing special but still paradise. The city itself is overdeveloped and full of literally 1000's of middle aged and older men with young thai girls milking them for their money. Sometimes Sully and I would sit down for lunch and count how many foreign old men drive by on a motorbike with a young Thai woman. We could usually count about 20 every 15 minutes.

During the day we just hang out and let the hot hours pass us by, nothing really goes on during the day in this nightlfe town. Being the low season there is still a fair amount of tourists here and being the rainy season we haven't once seen rain. The prices are much lower though which is great. At night we'll usually enjoy the craziness by drinking beer at a few of the 100's of girlie bars and watch the craziness around us. The girlie bars aren't like home. The girls are fully clothed....sort of. The bars line the main street and all the alleyways with names such as Soi Easy and other suggestable names.

Krabi Province

etc. You'll find all kinds of people from creepy old men to couples to families with children all experiencing the festive atmosphere. All taking pictures and sometimes even dancing with the trannies. Cheesy neon lights and techno blare throughout the street. It's quite the scene.
I know I wrote a lot about these bargirls in my last blog but it's just that in Koh Samui the scene there is tiny compared to here. And once again I should point out that we don't take these girls back to the hotel with us lol. It's just different here and it's all intertwined with the whole Thailand tourist experience. In other countries these types of things are discreet and creepy, here it's a strange scene to say the least. It's like a carnival, family orientated, R rated, adult disneyland of some sort. Hard to explain. It can be as crazy or as tame as you want it to be.

Any of the 1000's of dancing girls are available to take home just by paying a 300 bhat ($10.00) bar fine to the bar they're dancing at. The barfine is to supposedly compensate the bar for their lost employee lol. Now get

Street Food

Yummy! The Catfish is my favorite

your head out of the gutter folks. I learned this from that bargirl handbook that I read and wrote about in Koh Samui. I have a feeling that most of the people that visit Phuket have no idea that these girls are working girls.
In fact when I was here last year I don't recall knowing myself, at least not to this extent. I think for the most part we were as oblivious as the families.
Other than that their job is too keep you at that bar drinking by speaking to you, dancing and whatever else comes to mind. These places are so overstaffed with bargirls that it's unlikely that even half of them go home with anyone on any given night. We usually drink and play games such as Jenga and Connect 4 with the girls, before moving on to the next one. Sometimes we say we'll be back and they catch us with other girls playing Jenga and they call us butterflies haha. It's all in good fun though. They're all masters of the game probably because they play them 12 hours a day. We never win! It's just that if we stay in a place too

Ladyboy

Dancing on the streets

long they start to ask us to buy them overpriced drinks in which they make comission on.

Around 10pm or 11pm Sully usually goes to bed leaving me to have fun and party on my own til late at night. Sometimes I feel like I'm also too much for him and am dragging him out and I feel bad about it. And on a few occasions I have dragged him out seemily against his will, for a crazy night of partying. He has the time of his life I'm sure, and then wakes up with a massive hangover and a look on his face like he just went through a war.
It's not as crazy as it sounds though. When I was here last year with my x-girlfriend Jasmine we partied at the same places, playing the same games of Connect 4 and Jenga with the same bar girls. And come to think of it we drank much much more than the 3 or 4 beers Sully and I have been drinking lately.

I enjoy my time alone though, as I cherish every moment that I'm in Asia. When I'm in a party city, I party, when I'm

Fag Service Centre

I don't know how we ended up finding a hotel in a gay street, but it wasn't fun. Especially seeing old men and young Thai guys walking by....creeeepy!

in a village or a city I'm a culture buff, I like to do whatever the city has to offer. There's not too many party places in Asia, most are just have a cup of tea and go to bed early type of towns. I guess I need to get it out of my system. South Thailand with the exception of Krabi is pretty much a party place, our next stop Cambodia is more culture orientated. I guess I can use a break from the craziness also! =P

On one of the days we headed to Phuket city to get some bus tickets back to Bangkok. I opted for the luxury VIP bus which comes with seats that act as beds for the 12 hour overnight trip. Included in the price is also a stewardess, water, snacks and a full buffet meal. Sully has decided to fly, shortening the trip to half the time and will be meeting me in the morning. Lucky guy. I would've done the same but with such a long trip I have much more time than money. I can't stand overnight bus trips but in Thailand they're a breeze. After experiencing India's overnight trips anything is a breeze! I do prefer overland though, travelling as the locals do and experiencing the culture. Jasmine and I kind of got used to sleeping on the floor of a bus full of soldiers in a Thai/Burmese border warzone or equally strange situations. In no time Sully will be to! It's all part of the experience. I guess during this trip I opted for a flight or two when I could've went overland in India, so I know where he's coming from!

Due to the magic of a Thai pharmacy the bus ride seemed to only take 12 minutes rather than 12 hours. It's like I closed my eyes in Phuket and woke up in Bangkok. Wow! haha. I spent the day in Bangkok alone, Sully arrived a few hours later and a day late due to a booking error. My 11th time in Bangkok is no different from the rest, but I still love it. It's so hectic and random, so much always going on all at once. Thai culture in it's rawest form.

To my delight Sully really enjoyed Bangkok. It's an amazing city and can be quite overwhelming also. But it's been a couple weeks I think it's all settling in with him. Plus it's a lot more fun here with plenty more to do. One night we went to the River Bar with Aim and dined on seafood listening to live music. The next day we went to the massive weekend Chatachuck market which sells everything you can imagine in 10 000 stalls. At night we drank buckets of booze on Khao San Road and partied hard with the rest of the 10 000 or so people and then headed to a nightclub to dance the night away. I haven't seen Sully have this much fun since the Shambhala Festival. We woke up really late the next day and did nothing, completely hungover and exhausted from the cheap Thai Whiskey. Can't complain though, we're living the life!!