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Published: April 28th 2007
We took the overnight bus down to Phuket town. We eventually found our hostel after a whole lot of Thai taxi drivers we most unhelpful after we told them we were not going to give them any money.
We spent our first day organising our trip, eating NZ$2 Thai food and crashing out. The hostel we stayed at was complete with DVD player and so was all good.
The following day we had a bit more energy and took off on a Tuk Tuk bus to the seedy city of Patong. This place was jam packed with all the good stuff. It seemed by stepping in town you automatically hang a sign from your neck saying "I want to pay money to do perverted sh!t".
We checked out the beach, which was bustling with parasailing and dick extensions (jet skis).
I had not ever been and after a Paper Scissors Rock, Leon was first up. The drill goes like this: 1. Thrill seeker straps in on the beach
2. The boat takes off and thrill seeker runs in to the water
3. An insane Thai guy (known as a monkey) follows and hangs behind (no safety equipment)
4.
Parasailing
Gearing up for take off Once airbourne the monkey climbs up on thrill seekers shoulders and spends the duration of the trip up there.
5. On the descent, monkey controls the speed of the landing and guides you down.
6. Upon landing he jumps off and you go
So going second, Leon had the first mover avantage. After a smooth landing, Leon refused to tip the monkey. So when I went up the same guy came up and as soon as we were in the air he started to hassle me. "Be kind to your monkey. Good tip for the monkey. 100baht for a good landing. Be kind to your monkey."
So anyway, you can guess what happen. I told the guy to stick it.
Step 5 & 6 above was skipped and I found hurtling like a meteor towards the beach. I hit the ground in ankle deep water and tried to run to aborb the impact but not knowing the water was shallow I collapsed like a drunken pigeon. Apparently it was hilarious. I was going to smack the slimey b@stard but decided to shake it off.
That afternoon we went shopping for belts to go with our suits. Around NZ$8
Parasailing
Take off - note the monkey behind for a "genuine" Versace belt.
When then hit the Aussie bar - it was ANZAC day and the League was playing and the cricket.
No fun losing both. The walk of shame was the worst. I was being very rowdy supporting the Kiwis and was quickly ostricised.
We decided to get a taxi home. However, not just any taxi - a motorbike taxi. Zoom zoom zoom. Looking back on it me and Leon and the driver on 1bike was very dangerous.
The next day, we endured another bus ride to check out Kata Beach. It was really hot and we melted a little so spent most of the time in the water. Snorkelling was good. Pretty chilled out really, there is only so much you can do in the heat!
The next morning we set sail for Ko PhiPhi.
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deleted_35787
deleted_35787
Para eh?
I guess you got 'brought back down to earth' after your parasailing. In Patong, if you say "I'd buy that for a dollar" you probably could. Here's a little word of advice from the West Indies that would suit a place like that, "Don't forget to protect your wicket!!!" Haha! Good stuff bruva!