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Published: December 29th 2006
What a pose!
This is Lum Yai (not sure of the spelling) the female gibbon.. what a tart!!Hello Everyone!
Sorry it has been so long since my last update but I have struggled to find time to sit down and update... we have been so busy! Having fun of course!! I am going to do this blog in two parts as so much has happened and even two blogs will be long reading... so grab a coffee!
Heath arrived on the 24th as you all know, I was getting quite worried as he - typically - was last off the plane and almost last through customs! I didnt know whether to kill him or cry... I seriously thought he was in an interrogation room somewhere! He, on the other hand, was pissed that I wasnt there waiting for him... not realising that he has to get his bag and get through customs.... Hehehe! I had a driver called Mr Mor who had taken me out to the airport to collect Heath.. He was the loveliest man... he waited and then drove Heath and I to a really lovely seafood restaurant on top of a hill overlooking Phuket Town... I cant remember the name of the place but the food was amazing and sooooo cheap!
Xmas Day - Oh How Embarrassing!
I just have to tell you about the funniest day I have had while in Thailand.... Xmas Day! Our plan was to go to a posh Day Spa for a few hours during the day and be pampered (yes this included Heath!) then later that afternoon we were heading to Rawai Beach for drinks and seafood with our dear friends Sarah & Paul from England. The Day Spa was just so funny!
We were picked up at around 11am and driven to the Spa where we were given herbal tea to start then led to a private room for two! (I promise this doesnt get dirty! It was a normal day spa!!)... Just to set the scene, the room was gorgeous... it was open plan with a shower, bath and toilet to one side all done Thai Style with wooden floorboards, little pebbles and small curtains... There were two massage beds in the middle and on the other side of the room a steam room... The girls asked us to strip off, have a shower than jump in the steam room... then they left the room.... Heath and I just stood
there looking at each other....
Heath: We dont have to get naked do we? I'm not getting naked
Me: I dont know I guess so she said have a shower
Heath: well what do we wear in the steam room?
Me: I dont know
By now we were feeling out of our depth - we definately dont know how to do the 'spa thing'... we were pretty hysterical with laughter by this stage, so we got naked had a quick shower, wrapped a towel around us and jumped in the steam room.... Half an hour later the girls arrived back in the room with more herbal tea and said "ok now get on the tables" ... Heath had got me nervous by this stage... I was naked under the towel...
Me: Ummmm so should we be wearing underwear on the table?
Heath: "just looking scared and perplexed"
Thai Massage Girl: Hehehehehehehehehe
Me: ummmm is that a yes or a no?
Thai Massage Girl: Hehehehehehehehe
Me: Hmmmm ok (looking at Heath totally shitting!)
Up on our tables we jumped and they both started scrubbing our bodys with a coconut scrub.... We were flat on our stomachs with
a sarong covering us.... and they would remove the sarong for certain body parts to scrub... I was hysterically laughing at the look on Heaths face when she was rubbing the top parts of his legs! It was the funniest thing I have ever seen!
Soon we were told to turn over and they began on the front of our bodies.... A little while later the conversation went like this:
What I thought she said!
Thai Girl: You want to cover your chest? (me thinking she meant I put my hands on my breasts while she does my stomach etc)
Me: ummmmm yeah sure whatever!
What she really said!
Thai Girl: You want me to do your chest?
Me: ummmm yeah sure whatever!
WHOOPS!!!!!
So there she was massaging body scrub into my breasts! As if that didnt stress me enough... the following occurs!
Heath: ummmmm I need to go to the toilet
Thai Girl: ok
Heath - jumps off the bed with towel around him, walks to the open plan toilet and then lets it rip..... it sounded like a fire hydrant.... the thai girls were right there and I wanted
Dinner on the Beach
We look excited because those BBQ'd prawns are on their way! to crawl under the bed in embarrassment... so much for being modest Heath!!!
Me: Do you think you could try wee quieter HONEY?!?!?
Heath: Sorry
Heaths scrub then finished first and she asked him to go jump in the shower to wash it off..... He strips off the towel, jumps under the shower, starts rinsing himself off then 20 seconds later thinks he should maybe pull the shower curtain across! He was loving being naked all of a sudden..... then another embarrassing moment in the 5 Star Spa....
Heath: Gee I feel like I am a chicken snitzel with all this crumbly stuff all over me!
Me: *groaning and laughing at the same time* Heath!!!!!
Once we had showered the massage was next..... much the same thing.... only until I was awoken to the sound of Heath...
Heath: ummmmm I need to go to the toilet again.... its all that herbal tea
Me: Do you think you can try to be quieter this time?!?!
When our massages were finished the girls told us to leave the oil on for 4 hours... before they had a chance to leave the room, Heath was back in
Dancing at the Sunshine Bar
We were best friends by the end of the night!!! the shower....
Me: What are you doing?
Heath: Having a shower
Me: Did you not just hear what she told you?
Heath: To have a shower?
Me: NO Heath... to NOT have a shower
Heath: Whoops!
Very funny day..... After our spa we were given fresh fruit and more herbal tea than driven back to our hotel!
Drunken Antics At Rawai Beach
Later that afternoon we headed down to Rawai Beach to meet up with Sarah and Paul. Sarah and I met online at Tripadvisor when planning our holidays and immediately hit it off... It was great to finally be catching up. We met them at the Sunshine Bar and decided to have a few drinks before having dinner.... Dinner was to be next door at a little shack where you order your seafood, then go sit down on the beach on mats and they bring the food over.... We met up at 5.30pm and since the cocktails were cheap and going down well it was finally about 830-9 before we managed to drag ourselves next door for food. The girls at the Sunshine Bar are so much fun and we only managed to
Getting Messy!
Paul called me the Attention whore cause in every photo my smile was huge with lots of teeth!!!! get food as they convinced us all we had to do was yell "Aussie aussie aussie oi oi oi" across the road for more drinks! Very funny!
The food was amazing - we ordered 3 plates of big tiger prawns, papaya salad and sticky rice. Half the prawns were fried and the other half BBQ'd... While they were both amazing the fried ones were the best and I am still living it down as it was I who suggested that we get BBQ'd.... the others just wanted fried.... yes guys I know ok!?!
We then went back to the Sunshine Bar for more drunken antics including Sarah and I behind the bar with the girls singing and dancing "No money no honey, bye bye you go home" - a lovely little thai song about the relationship between the thai girls and western men... hilarious!
One funny thing to note was - when we were at the Sunshine Bar on the Friday Night we were pretty disgusted by the toilets... they were filthy and thai style... Carolynn hadnt wanted to go all night but we ended up so drunk she just had to go once before we left
Getting Messy!
Really boys will be boys! and the look on her face was priceless.... When I got there on Xmas Day I was heading out to the toilet when the lady who owns Sunshine Bar pulled me up:
Thai lady: where you going??
Me: toilet
Thai lady: you go to my toilet
Me: isnt that your toilet? (pointing to the disgusting pit over to the left)
Thai lady: NO!! That is the restaurant next door, you come I show you my toilet
She leads me to the most gorgeous little hut RIGHT BEHIND THE SUNSHINE BAR and in I go! Wow! It was clean, modern, a western toilet, there were big pots of water with floating petals and flowers and even handwash!!! So funny! "Carolynn will kill me if she sees this" is all I am thinking as I start taking photos! Hahahahaha!
Anyway back to the story.... the drunken night ended around 1130 when we all shared a tuk tuk back to our hotels.... The next day... lets just say... I was SOOOOOOOOO hungover and we were due to go to the Elephant Rehabilitation Centre.....
Elephant Rehabilitation Centre
We were booked to head to the Elephant Rehab Centre
and as you already know there were a few issues with going, due to the drama that had happened a few weeks ago. Richard who was meant to be taking us met us for a coffee that morning... at that stage I was still unsure if I would be joining Heath as my hangover was pretty bad! He explained that he was still unable to take visitors, however he had arranged a driver to take us along with 8 others. We were picked up and driven up there... we were a little surprised when we got there that it was right on the main road, and that there appeared to be lots of other tourists, as we had kind of had the impression that it wouldnt be very touristy....
Heath wanted to ride the elephants but I wasnt keen after spending the day at the Elephant Nature Park... I was quite happy for him to do it though... He was all keen up until the point we both realised that they had the evil 'hook' to use on the elephant and then we saw one Mahout dig it sharply into the head (right near its ear) to turn the
Elephant Rehab Centre
The elephants looked well looked after! elephant around. Heath decided at that moment he didnt want to do the ride so we just made a donation for food and fed some bananas and pineapples to the elephants....
The gibbons that I spoke about previously turned up while we were there and we were able to touch them and get photos which was nice, but from all reports the wonderful time people experience is due to going with Richard. The gibbons love Richard and will spend alot more time with him and you get to interact alot more apparently when he is around. We were glad that we went however we were a tad disappointed as so many people rave about there time there and I can see that being there with Richard is obviously what enhances the experience. It is really sad that someone has selfishly ruined that for others.
We met a couple on the trip called Pat and Alison... they were from England and on their honeymoon... we found out that not only were we booked on the same 'Hong by Starlight' trip the next day but that we would also be in Ko Lanta at the same time for New Years
Elephant Rehab Centre
The elephants are so gorgeous! So gentle! Eve. They were lovely and we have now made plans for catchups in Lanta!
Another Night With Sarah and Paul
We met up with Sarah and Paul again on Boxing Night at an Irish Pub called Molly Malones... the pub was showing the Chelsea football game (Sarah and Paul are huge fans) so we had dinner there and watched the game.... I had a few drinks but they did nothing except allow me to hit a massive brick wall! I really felt like crap! I had Cottage Pie for dinner and Heath had a burger! Very surreal sitting in an Irish Pub eating Irish Food watching English Football in Thailand! Hahahahaha!
After the game we went for a walk down Bangla Road (where all the girly bars are) in search of a Ping Pong show.... one guy approached us with a list of shows at his bar... including the water eel show, the frog show, the cigarette show, the dart show, the bottle of coke show and a number of other unthinkable acts.. I am sure you all have great imaginations!!!! We didnt end up doing a show as they all try to scam you...
you get free entry but then a beer costs you 300 baht and its not compulsory to 'tip' the girls (however the big mother of a bouncer right behind you will probably convince you otherwise)... so we gave it a miss and just went for a quick drink in a girly bar.... what an eyeopener!
Here we are sitting in a bar with the most gorgeous girls you have ever laid eyes on dancing on every available bar top space.... These girls are amazing... they could be top models and it makes you quite sad that this is the life they have instead! Kate Moss, Elle MacPherson and the likes have nothing on these girls... its hard to keep remembering what these girls do for a living and where they were before that night! Heath was like a kid in a candy shop, luckily I had all the money! No money No honey!!!!!!!!!
The amount of old western men with the most stunning young young girls was disgusting but I am not here to judge! Lets just say it was eyeopening and leave it at that.... We didnt hang around long as Paul and I were still suffering
from the night before so we called it a night and went home!
That is the end of Part 1.... stay tuned for the next blog on "Hongs by Starlight", "A Day at Merlin Beach" & "Sarah and Pauls last night"
Hope everyone is well and behaving... the next blog is just around the corner!
Love Reet & Heath xxxx
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non-member comment
Messy Messy Xmas?
Hi Reet Glad to hear you survived your xmas celebrations, hope you are feeling better. Look forward to part 2. Lee