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Published: February 11th 2010
1/10
Right now I'm on the plane waiting for take off from Bangkok to Phuket. Got a shuttle for 130 baht which was actually a cab w/2 other girls. It only took a 1/2 hour and the meter came up to 225 baht, we already paid, but it was interesting to see how much it really costs. The standard rate is 500 baht, but at 5am do you really need to charge those prices? Anyhow money saved yay.
Mini Van HELL- So when I bought my shuttle ticket the woman did not write on there that I needed to go to a different pier. I was going to the Bang Rong Pier...not the main pier that takes you to phi phi island. Piss me off. The driver said no problem and said he'd take me there since technically it was on the way back to the airport (I had a map), but then half way there he said that I had to pay him 100 baht. I said N-O to that because that wasn't fair. I showed him the map that I understood where we were going and it was not out of the way. No tip for him. Just barely
made it on the ferry (which was late anyway). It was super crowded so I had to sit in the front with the wind whipping my hair around. Crap, I forgot that I'm back in the muslim area and forgot to wear pants, whoops. Well my shorts aren't that short and I have on a long sleeve shirt...but I still feel like they are giving me the stink eye about it. Glad my bag is also a backpack because I had to jump on the boat! I met some other people on the tuk tuk going to the same place as me. Um, interesting...we pull up to where we are supposed to go and we all look at each other like what the F is this? All I saw was some ok looking bungalows and then the studio area. It was gross...definitely not like the pictures. I had this other version in my head what it would be like. I thought it would be a little rough, but not like this. We meet the "yoga guy" as he pulls up on his scooter. Super skinny, talks with a soft, slow british accent, and kinda has a I'm looking at you
from far away gaze. Also his big toe nail scares me...dude you need to wear socks! He says Ulmer's Lodge is all booked and then takes up the road to some other places. I was worried, because this is not what we had discussed. The whole reason why I dragged myself out here was to join a "retreat" and be with a group...definitely not like the website. He then assures me that I already have a placed secured and not to worry. Uh, no I'm not staying here. The bathroom scares me....I have to shower with my bikini on because the walls don't go all the way up. The bug factor is pretty bad and there is a frog on my toilet. As soon as you turn off the water you can see the mosquitos stuck to the tiles from the water. I've stayed in bungalows before....it's just different when you're by yourself. What I really did not like is that you could not secure the door or windows. I don't want the end of my vacay to be like this. It will stress me out and I just want to relax. I also forgot that the beaches suck on
this island. The sand is more like a mud or clay with sand flies everywhere. Also during the day the tide gets really low. Was ready to turn around and go back to phuket but I decided that I would give it a chance and one more day....
Went to the yoga class and it was really uneventful. This man was really into "focusing". I was more focused on not getting bit by the ginormous mosquitos. I got more of a workout walking there and I decided that I was for sure leaving the next day....then things got worse.
It started to forest gump rain. Thunder, lightening, and then the electricity went out during dinner! UGH I was marooned in the dining area because there was too much rain gushing down the hill. There were mini waterfalls everywhere. There was no one else from the yoga retreat where I was staying so there was no one to talk to about this crazy experience. Before I went back to my room I called the yoga man to tell him I'm leaving the next day. I can't stay in a room that cannot be locked or the windows cannot be secured. Found
out the room was only 500 baht so I paid the manager directly.The rain slowed down a bit so the manager walked us all back to our bungalows. They gave me 2 candles. My trusty girl scout instincts kicked in and I made a candle holder by cutting my waterbottle in half. So thankful that I had a flashlight with me. So it's me in the dark with 3 mosquito coils. It's probably a lethal what I'm doing, but I don't want those blood suckers to get me, but nothing will help. They are even biting me with my 95% deet and a long shirt. Tried to sleep with the mosquito net but 5 minutes into my snooze I heard that familiar high pitched buzzing noise and jumped out of bed. The electricity finally came back on at 12:30 am but I couldn't sleep. I just packed my bag. I could also hear the guys doing the rubber tree tapping thing so it made me feel nervous.
1/11
Sitting at the pier now waiting for my boat to go back to Phuket. Barely slept. Woke up at 6am to see the sunset and finished packing. Totally ate pooh this morning with my backpack when I left. I scaled down the hill without any problems and then slipped on some mud when I stepped onto the street. I looked like a damn turtle stuck on it's back. The mud mostly got on my bag and legs, not too bad just embarrassing. A little old lady rescued me and helped washed off the mud. She also called a tuk tuk for me. I ran into the yoga guy. He was actually going to move me to where everyone else was, but I was over it. I signed up for the retreat to be with a group/other people not to be separated in an ugly bungalow. It was the most miserable thing that I did on this trip. It made penang look better!
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Island Yoga on Koh Yao Noi at Ulmar's Lodge or also spelled Ulmer's Lodge ---BEWARE!!! Total bait and switch. Does not look like the pictures. I saw the sign posted in Ao Nang Beach and thought it was the perfect way to end my vacay. The "yoga guy" will tell you whatever you want to hear to get you there and then changes things without notice. The only nice thing is the outdoor yoga studio...it looks like the only thing he put $ into. If you could have seen the look of my face and the other people in the bus's face -we were all a little worried and not sure about what we were getting into. I didn't get to do the island tour, but I've been to koh yao noi before and it's probably the same one I went on... rubber tree tapping mill/factory, fisherman village, and some monkey place...not life changing if you miss it. You can also book this on your own when you get there. If you still do it, then don't prepay (cash only). Wait a day first to check it out. OR, scout out the accommodations before hand and just do the a la carte yoga only. Also this is not something you do as a day trip or "drop in"...it takes a lot of effort to get here...Maybe your experience will be better than mine!
Koh Yao Noi is mostly known for rock climbing so if it's this is up your alley then more power to ya. If you want pretty beaches then go somewhere else or pony up the $ to go to the six senses hideaway. ....That's all I have to say about that!!!
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sam
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thank you for your comment!
I was planing to go for yoga retreat at kho yao noi on July 2010.. I read your comment am sooo scared... Thank u,, I would changing my mind now.. and also I've plan to go yoga retreat on December as well but in India!!!