THE THAI EXPERIENCE PART 1: KO PHI PHI & CHIANG MAI

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KO PHI PHI

Oh dear! Ko Phi Phi what have you done?! This place should be paradise but instead it's a tourist-run, over-priced craphole! I spent two nights in Krabi town at Pak Up Hostel (I should've stayed longer - Krabi was a cool little town) and then on Friday 2nd I ferried over to Phi Phi Don Island where I stayed until Wednesday 7th. Even as I write that I'm still not sure how and why I stayed there that long! I arrived at the pier on Ton Sai Bay on the south side of Phi Phi Don and no sooner had I stepped off the ferry were they already asking for money - 20 Baht "island cleaning and maintenance" fee - a complete joke given that the island is full of empty beer cans and spirit bottles. And if you wanna go up to the view point - that's another 20 Baht if you please, just for standing on a hill!





The cheapest beds to be had on the island cost 350 Baht - about 11USD - certainly not cheap. I stayed at Golden Hill Bungalows and although the dorm room was pretty bog-standard, the place did have a newly-installed pool which turned out to be a life-saver as it was a great way to cool down and a great way to avoid the tourist-infested streets and beaches. The high-priced accommodation alone wouldn't be so bad but the problem here is that everything is pricey - food and drinks are both expensive, a bottle of beer costing a hefty 120 Baht, about 4USD. The best / most cost-efficient way to get drunk was by drinking the infamous and near-lethal "buckets" - literally mini buckets bought on the street and costing between 4 - 10USD, each one filled with a bottle of Thai whisky/rum/vodka together with a can of coke and small bottle of Thai Red Bull equivalent. What could possibly go wrong? After drinking a couple of buckets an Aussie girl from my hostel woke up one morning in Phi Phi Don Hospital with absolutely no recollection of the night before. As I say... lethal!





I said in my Georgetown blog that there it was hard not to find something to like. Here on Phi Phi Don for me it was hard to find anything to like. I've been in touristy places before but never have I been somewhere where walking down the street as a westerner I was in the majority. The only locals to be seen were in the shops or restaurants or massage parlours - and now the previous sounds of "massage Sir" in the Philippines or "massage mate" in Bali has just become and nondescript slurping/sucking/popping noise as you walk by. There was nothing Thai about this place whatsoever - I could've been anywhere in the World!





Even the nightlife here sucked although I met a fair few people who seemed to love it. Most of the bars and clubs were along Loh Dalum Bay on the northern side of the island. There were fire breathers, jugglers, luminous skipping ropes and people with monkeys ready to pose for the cameras. It was a circus. All it needed was a tiger in a cage or some beach-ball-juggling sea lions and it would've been complete. I kept thinking about the Philippines and Boracay in the Visayas and El Nido on Palawan. Boracay had the non-pretentious nightlife that for me easily trumps the nightlife on Phi Phi and the Bacuit Bay in El Nido had equally beautiful scenery but without the hordes of tourists. So my advice to anyone thinking about going to Ko Phi Phi would be to forget about it and just go to the Philippines instead!





Between chilling out at the hostel pool, I did make it up to View Point 2 (despite the ridiculous fee) for a great view across the island at sunset. It was cool to be able to really see the size and shape of Phi Phi Don. I also did the thing that everyone has to do if they come here - a tour of neighbouring Ko Phi Phi Lay island which included stops at Monkey Beach followed by a quick look at Viking Cave, some swimming / snorkelling at the gorgeous Pileh Bay and Loh Samah Bay and finished off with 2/3 hours of chilling out on famous Maya Bay, which is apparently where some rubbish film called "The Beach" was made. The scenery was all stunning although like I said I'd still opt for El Nido personally. Another little 'pet hate' I had was with the awful "Pirate Party Ship" Booze Cruise which essentially does the same tour I did but on a "party" boat full of drunk and highly irritating morons. It cost something like 30USD to do and I'm not sure why anyone would pay that amount - only the first drink was free! Take something so beautiful and picturesque and turn it into something so trashy and so tacky. Can't the landscape just be enjoyed for what it is - one of the most scenic spots in the World? Why not organise a foam party in Rome's Colosseum?! That, for me, was Ko Phi Phi.





On Wednesday 7th I gladly got the hell out of there and spent a night in Phuket Town before flying with Air Asia up to Northern Thailand. I said I wouldn't fly again until my flight back home from Beijing but it was a tossup between a 2-hour 60-Euro flight versus a 24-hour 30-Euro bus journey. No brainer really. My destination - Chiang Mai...

CHIANG MAI

Chiang Mai was everything that Ko Phi Phi wasn't - chilled, down-to-earth, culturally rich, inexpensive, friendly, interesting... fun! My plan was to take it super easy here and for the first time on my trip I deliberately looked for my own private room despite there being no shortage of cheap and decent dorm beds up for grabs. I needed a few days of not having to climb over other people's crap just to get to bed! I arrived quite late and it was dark so after getting a tad lost around the narrow streets I eventually checked in at Ban Wiang Hostel, 300 Baht (10USD) getting me a private, fan-cooled room with en-suite bathroom. Phi Phi seemed a distant memory already! I spent a good few days here and the city became the first place on this trip, maybe with the exception of Georgetown, where I can say that I would've happily spent more days. The only thing stopping me was my Visa - 15 days for an overland crossing, so I had to get my ass out of the country by the 14th.





There was a load of things to do in and around Chiang Mai: trekking, rafting, climbing, mountain biking, elephant riding, tiger petting, cooking classes, language classes, massage classes and even Thai boxing classes for those who wanna get their heads kicked in. For me though I was just happy to dedicate the time to the city to try and get to know it well. I spent most of my time in and around the Old City, sightseeing temples and markets and taking advantage of the great & cheap street food along Th Moon Muang. I didn't do a massage course but I did get a 1-hour Thai massage for 4USD and also even found time to take a shared songthaew (red pick-up trucks with benches in the back) for 100 Baht up to Doi Suthep - a sacred Buddhist Temple perched on a hilltop to the Northwest of town. It was a real windy road steadily uphill from Chiang Mai and I had to concentrate slightly to make sure I didn't see my breakfast again! I'm glad I wasn't one of the poor sods making the ascent by bicycle though. I'm sure I saw a guy on the way up and then again on the way down after more than an hour at the top at the temple. That said, as with Penang Hill in Georgetown, a great way to see the temple would have been to take a songthaew the way up with a bike on the roof and then let sweet gravity do its thing for the way back down. The views of Chiang Mai were great and the temple was well worth the trip.





On the 13th I headed up to the Arcade bus station to buy my ticket for the border town of Chiang Khong, on the Thai side of the Mekong river. Through the hostel I would've paid 400 Baht. Direct from the station it was only 210. I left early morning on the 14th and jumped in another songthaew (10Baht) to the station. The trip up to the border was fine and after a short tuk-tuk ride followed by an equally short boat ride across the Mekong I was in Laos and the border town of Huay Xai and "The Gibbon Experience" awaited...





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