Phi Phi Islands. Nightmare youngsters.

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We left Phuket to head to the Phi Phi Islands. The shuttle was awful. The driver was over taking on single lane roads, facing on coming traffic, it was terrifying. I shit my britches a few times. The road wasn't the only place with skid marks. The boat journey was far more peaceful. A few hours to relax and unwind with the gadgets.

The pier at the Phi Phi Islands resembled a refugee camp. No organization, touts and bags everywhere. We made it to out hotel which was away from the main area. It was a standard large room with air conditioning. The shower was terrible, the place was dirty. It is sold as a double room but had two beds pushed together. It was the worse two nights sleep of my life. There is a mosque next door so you're woken up at about 5am for morning prayers. Then about 7am the hotel staff start cleaning the rooms, they have two way radio's and its all you can hear. I was very close to making a complaint, I was very agitated. It's not cheap either, the island has a monopoly on the prices.

We headed straight for some food. It was the worse food I have ever had. We then walked it off with a trip up to the viewpoint at the top of the mountain, it was very nice with awesome views. We headed out that night to a boxing bar. They have 'professionals' fighting each other in bouts. The crowd went wild. I've watched a lot of wrestling and I'm telling you that shit is fake. You can see them kicking each other in the face, slapping the side of their legs, people fall for it though and will still hate on wrestling for being fake. You want to really see what happens when someone is kicked in the face? Watch the UFC.

It did become interesting though when they offered the audience to fight each other for some free alcohol. Who would do that? Apparantly alot of people. Two by two, idiots fought each other in overblown, overthrown punches and kicks. It was hilarious. So dangerous but awesome at the same time. One lad had a go, and he didn't wear the head gear, his stance was that of a boxer, he fought slow. You could tell he had training. He destroyed this lad twice the size of him. That's why I would never do it. I only want to fight people smaller than me, and there isn't that many of them around. Even a lady offered to fight, but they couldn't find a challenger. I considered it, but I figured I'd still lose. That was disappointing.

We decided to have a look around and it was just awful. The same three shops over and over. Clothes, crap souvenirs and massages. The streets were full of people. The beach was rammed with people partying. There was garbage everywhere. The place stunk of sewage. People were urinating into the sea and onto the sand. Swarms of people, even worse, young people. It was like a plague of lefty losers, finding their spiritual side half way across the world by drinking a Chang beer, eating that one slice of pizza they can afford and dancing to 'turn down for what'. Not really my cup of tea. This place is absolutely catered for young people who want to party, and it's a shame because they have destroyed the place.

We met another couple on the way back to our room and had an impromptu drink in a quieter bar. Albeit it took half an hour to find the place. It had live music, they played Linkin Park. I was happy! They told us they were out here for 8 months, staying in shared dorms and stretching their money. They were a similar age but with no responsibilities. I admire thier ability to do it, but it's not for me. I need a certain level of luxury. Quality for me trumps quantity.

The next day we booked an island tour. This was a fantastic day. There are plenty of opportunities to explore myself away from all the people in other locations, but here the tour was definitely worth it. They picked us up via speed boat from the hotel. The first stop was monkey Island. It is as it reads. They pester people for food. I managed to stroke one but no way is it jumping on me. We had a good group and a lovely Chinese family had the monkeys climbing all over them. Then out of no where, one stole his glasses and ran up the tree. It was so bad yet so funny. The panic, the poor lad couldn't see a thing now and had to spend the whole day blind!

We visited Maya Bay, the place where they filmed Leonardo Di Caprio's the beach. I know because you're told every 30 seconds. That was lovely but overpopulated. We snorkelled with the fish and I saw some sharks. The tour guide through some food in while we swam and a fish bit my nipple! That was sensual. Then a huge storm hit, it was awesome snorkeling under the water while it poured down outside. A great day with a good group. Well worth the money. After making loads of plans for the evening we crashed out asleep when we got back.

As I write this on the boat to Ko Lanta for the next stop, I think about the buzz around the Phi Phi Islands, how beautiful the place is, but it's been spoiled. It absolutely stinks of sewage everywhere. It's over run with tourists and sail boats. It's not a place you'd want to stay for long unless your 20. I understand I myself am a tourist, but I'm one of the ones putting into the economy. Hiring a tour. So many people don't do anything there. However when you advertise £3 a night dorm rooms, drinks for 50p and all night parties, you're going to attract the worst the world has to offer. It's these people that have spoilt it for everyone else. Even now as I type, everyone is quiet, relaxing on this boat, and the woman in front of me is strumming a banjo. What makes this young idiot think we want to listen to her concert? It's these kind of self obsessed idiots that can live like royalty over here and ruin the place. Then they come back to England and wonder why life is so hard and think they are owed something. That's the problem with this place. All the things you hate are here on the Phi Phi Islands.

Admittedly there will be some people that jump in and do things differently, I have many friends who have done it and found quiet parts of the island that they enjoy but even they say it's only worth a quick trip. For the most part to me it seems like a giant beach party. You wonder why half these people have these cultural experiences, probably because they are off thier head and seeing shit half the trip! Either way, beautiful islands, wouldn't recommend more than a day trip, unless your on a stag, hen or graduation party.

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