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Published: January 6th 2012
Our beach bungalow
Charlie Beach Resort, Koh Mok
… “babe, can you pass me the light”… I oblige, still sleeping…“Ahhh! I knew it! That thing crawled down my side and my whole leg! I knew it!”… Now I’m awake.
Staring, with one sleepy-eye, at a cockroach that Kels is shining the headlamp on that is trapped INSIDE our mosquito net that is supposed to keep the bugs OUT of our bed! Kels is freaked, and rightfully so - cockroaches are disgusting - so I jump into action…
I bolt through the overlapping gap in our apparently malfunctioning bug net and turn on the one low-watt light in our bamboo bungalow. I first look at my paperback sitting on the night table, but squishing that bastard would leave a big mess in the bed, and I also remember something about squishing cockroaches releases something like 50-trillion (probably exaggerated…?) eggs… not gonna squash him…
OK, next idea, catch and release… I grab a glass from the bathroom, dump out our nicely organized toothbrushes, and head back to Kelsey and her temporary, unwanted bed mate… she’s still in the mosquito net with Senior Cucaracha tracking it with the head lamp. The two-inch beast is now crawling up the netting
opposite of where Kels is defiantly keeping the light fixed on it. My idea is to place the glass in front of the bug and then, with the other hand, whack it from behind the netting into the glass… that was the plan… Unfortunately, my sleepy eyes failed me and as I smacked the cockroach off the net it missed the poorly positioned glass and hurled itself on to my poor wife’s face!!!
Her lip actually. So she can now reference the time her loving husband flung a cockroach into her mouth! Great!
Kels screamed, bolted out of the netted bed, screamed again and did the “hibby-geeby” dance for a handful of seconds. You heard it here first… I f@#ked up!
I dove into the bed, cursing, like a hunter after his prey… I didn’t want this sucker to start making a home underneath the mattress that’s just sitting on the floor. Tossing the pillows aside I spotted Senior Cuc and slammed the glass over him, then transferred my hand over the top of the glass, shaking it the whole time so the little bugger couldn’t get his footing and come after the palm of my hand. Kels had stopped dancing and opened the front door and I flung him out to what I hoped was a starving bird or lizard who would finish off our intruder.
With the door closed and our heartbeats slowing down, I apologized for launching a cucaracha at Kels which was followed by a few minutes of hysterical laughing. We reset the mosquito net, turned off the light and I was thankful that this wasn’t a regular occurrence at four o’clock in the morning… good night, sleep tight, don’t let the bed-bugs bite!
Disclaimer: this is in no way meant to speak poorly of Charlie Beach Resort where this happened - this is the reality of sleeping in basic bamboo huts and the subsequent 3 nights were without incident (thankfully). We really loved our stay at Charlie Beach Resort - the staff were some of the best in our travels, the resort was very well managed and the beach was fantastic - Charlie: thanks for the great experience!
Until next time…
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