Sex, sex and more sex.....

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February 10th 2007
Published: February 10th 2007EDIT THIS ENTRY

Hey people! It is 8am and I have left Carmen snoozing in bed. Decided to update you all on our escapades (they are getting funnier as the days go on in this place)

We spent a few more days in Bangkok and had a great time. This is a real learning experience for both of us as we seem to have 'mug' written our foreheads. EVERYWHERE we go we end up getting ripped off, but it is quite funny and we are getting to become a lot more street wise! Especially the Tuk Tuks. We realised after ending up in the wrong place every time we asked to go anywhere that they actually get free petrol for taking you to certain shops and just kept dumping us at random places! The language barrier is such a joke, but it can be very funny at times trying to explain things! Anyway, we ended up going to our ping pong show. We went out that night and met some guys, a random drunk northerner who thought he knew everything about Thailand and was annoying, and an irish guy who is a body guard for different celebs back home (i was in my element talking about celeb gossip) and he was ENORMOUS! So Carmen and I were happy as we had him to look after us, we then all went to the ping pong show (after another extended tuk tuk journey in the wrong direction) and had our first taste of the sordid side of Thailand (so far it is the only side we have seen unfortunately) The ping pong show also turned into a live sex show/razor blade coming out of intimate area show/disappearing coke bottles etc..... we met another couple of irish blokes in there (carmen and I keep CLINGING onto anyone British/Irish as there are hardly any here) and spent most of the night talking to them, the show was quite crap to be honest. Carmen didnt see any of it because of her lack of eyesight so I gave her a running commentary.

We arrived in Pattaya on Tuesday after the drive from hell in a mini bus with 8 other travellers. I honestly nearly cried, they drive like such lunatics over here. I keep hearing accident horror stories from people which doesnt help. We arrived to a tropical storm, which meant the place already looked horrible, but it could only get worse. It wasnt until we were on the bus that one of the other travellers told us Pattaya is the sex capital of South East Asia,from what I have seen it is actually the sex capital of the entire universe. The whole place consists of thai girls, dirty old men.... and me and carmen. NO other backpackers!!! I have never seen anything like it in my life, we went to the beach on the first day and spent all day looking at people. Our stock phrase has become 'check it' at every wrongen that we see, averaging about every 3 seconds. Every other sentence is 'I wish the girls were here to see this' so we have started playing a game where we take a photo of each other with the freak in the background so that we can send everyone the pictures without them seeing us taking the picture! we have some BEAUTYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Carmen and I feel like fashion goddesses over here, there are thousands of russians and they have some serious clothing issues. Actually so do most people, I have now renamed us 'trinny and sussanah'.

We decided to escape here for a couple of days so Thursday went on a day trip to a beautiful island called Ko Samut, it was paradise and our first taste of what I hope the rest of Thailand is going to be like! I have had enough of cities now so we are going back there for a few days between here and ko samui (apparntly more tacky night life and neon lights which is NOT WHAT I WANT!!!!!) But we are meeting cat there and then heading to Ko Phangan for the full moon party..... and cannot wait for that!

Yesterday we did some more sunbathing (i have a burnt neck that is bright red, and Carmen keeps telling everyone I have caught 'mange' of the dogs out here) Speaking of which, the dogs here are a joke! We love them all! Some are quite clean so we have been stroking them, there are puppies EVERYWHERE! We have more pictures of puppies than people!!! Anyway, we then went to a shopping centre with the guy that carmen met before we came away (on the full moon website - he is living here for 6 months doing scub diving and we have been out with him and his mates a few times) and carmen decides the way forward would be to walk out of a shop with a pack of tissues under her arm without paying for them and we didnt realise til we were walking back to the bus!! We were cr*pping it!!!!!!! Visions of Bangkok jails were flying through our minds, and we were too scared to take them back in case they didnt understand us and called the police!!!!!! We have finally resigned ourselves to the fact we are safe and that we are not being monitored by police and can relax now.

Went out last night with the diving guys, and I actually drank water all night (I dont know what has happened to me?!?!?!?) it is too hot to get drunk plus we are scared of all the freaks in this place so we are playing it safe! Got in at about 3am after losing everyone in a club which was helpful and think today we are meeting Neil's mates Matt and Ant that are over for the weekend from Tokyo so that should be interesting, if we dont lose them to the 100,000 prossies that frequent this place. I am guessing that is going to happen so Carmen and I will let them get on with it ha ha.

I am going to go wake up the sleeping beauty now and drag her out of bed! There are far too many sex shows to see and so little time.... (joke)

Hope the snow is lovely back in the Uk, it is about 35 degrees and clear blue skies in case you wanted to know ;-)

lots of love xxxxxxxxx


11th February 2007

if carmen is anything like in oz then check it will soon become check becasue i tell u what if the thais are anything like abbos then there are too many wrong ens to handle!!! glad to hear u 2 are ripping teh piss across the world thats what i like to hear- keep us all updated with wrong ens and get some photos on here!!!!!! xxxxx
12th February 2007
Elizabeth!! I havent laughed so much for a long time, im having some very weird visions of what you lot are getting up to out there! Typical you to be engrossed with the sex shows! I bet Carmen would go elsewhere but your forcing her to go!!! Well i hope your having a fan-bloody-tastic time, the both of you and just look after yourselves! Cant wait to hear all your stories when you get back Keep up the good blog! Geoff X
13th February 2007

Thank goodness I'm not your mothers
However, it doesn sound like you are having an interesting time. Good luck Liz, Trish
19th February 2007

hahahaaa... that is so funny! my god, Mich is looking at me coz my sides are splitting. Keep up the good work girls! xx

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