From Ko Chang to Bangkok down the Chao Praya and along Khao San Road

---

My dear wife set the alarm for 5.30 this morning and then beat me with bamboo sticks till I bled to make me get up and photograph the sunrise. She was shouting 'get up you lazy good for nothing scabberous dog' at me too. So I got up. And the sunrise was pretty dull. And I was tired. And I'd been called a dog. Not a good start to the day.

And a tiny bit of that is true too. But breakfast was good so things were looking up. The Thai dishes were exquisite, particularly the coconut soup with lemongrass in it. Marvellous.

Our transport arrived early and I had to fight off two Thai ladies who were trying to carry our bags to the van. I know it's their job but they were half the size of me and our bags are heavy so I carried ours myself. After a quick jaunt to the pier we were able to drive straight onto the ferry and we were soon back on the mainland and heading to our final destination, Bangkok.

The journey was a race against time as we hoped to get a boat tour in this afternoon. Luckily we took the toll roads and could get up quite a pace on these huge highways. Very different from Vietnam or Cambodia, Thailand's roads are bigger and better. Stangely, the toilets aren't. Gammy, dirty and of the squat variety with no toilet paper they need to update those like they have their roads.

The Americans have got the worst of the deal with time in Bangkok as they leave tomorrow morning. Andy and Helen have booked an extra night at the hotel which will cost them about £100 including airport transfer. We are owed some good fortune after our late arrival and have most of tomorrow to see things as our transfer isn't until 17.30. Claire is already talking about being at some park before 7am....

That was earlier and I can now lie in a bit...hooray! The park is about an hour away so we won't have time to go there before breakfast....Claire was planning on getting up at 5 o bloody clock. I love her but she's insane. If it's not getting up ridiculously early it's finding whichever is the tallest hill around and climbing it!

Steven was getting very angsty on the way here as they don't have much time in Bangkok so we had asked Jeff to sort us a longboat ride up the Chao Praya. To skip a bit...after that Steven then went back to the hotel....why didn't he go off and do something interesting like we did? Strange fellow. He started the trip being quite rude and shouting at his wife Yiyi who is lovely, then he completely changed character and was a great travelling companion. Today he was a bit back to his old self and was quite horrible to poor Yiyi on the boat trip. Nowt so queer as folk.

At the hotel, which is called the Royal Princess and is quite snazzy to be honest, our room wasn't ready so we all put our luggage in one room so we could get out quick. And then we were all waiting for, you guessed it, Steven.

We were piled into tuk tuks and taxis by Jeff and all met at the pier where we all clambered into our longboat. It shot off down the river passing the Grand Palace, Wat Po and the royal barge before heading off down the back canals. Here we saw people living on the water and by the water, washing in the dirty water and it was all really interesting. Hopefully the pictures will come out okay as we were zipping along and bobbing up and down whilst snapping away.

Along the way we saw a lizard about 3-4ft long and bought bread from a monk to feed to catfish. Just your average day then... The lizard was just lounging on a step at the side of the water and is probably blogging about some weird tourists that went past as we speak. The catfish were HUGE and no wonder if today's feeding is a regular occurrence. Fishing is not allowed outside that temple so lots of fish live there....who says fish are stupid?? The monks sell bread, huge loaves, that tourists throw in to see hundreds of clever catfish fighting over at the surface. Everybody's happy. Especially the fish.

After the boat trip the other four wanted to go back to the hotel. Helen hadn't been feeling well all day so we could understand why her and Andy went back. We wanted to see more so I suggested we go to Khao San Road without telling Claire what it was. And so off in a tuk tuk we went.

Khao San road is a road full of tourist stuff really but you kind of have to go there if you come to Bangkok. There are tat shops, jewellery shops, tattoo shops, exchange shops, restaurants, bars and places to book trips and flights etc etc.

We changed some more money, bought some souvenirs (as if we'd buy tat!) and had a really nice and cheap meal whilst people watching. It absolutely poured down for a few minutes while we were there but we stood under a canopy and took pictures. It's a fascinating road to wander up and down with the only problem being the street sellers, about 75 of whom came and tried to sell us stuff while we were eating. I'm sure some people like the hippy stringy bracelet things but they ain't for us.

We wandered a bit more taking in the atmosphere of this bustling city. We saw a car accident where the cars must have barely brushed each other but the drivers got out and spent ages talking and taking pictures not bothering that they were blocking a busy junction. A policeman soon turned up and started marking the cars' positions on the road and we left them all to it then. That was in the time we were waiting for the green man to come on so we could cross the road. They don't like you crossing the road here and it takes ages so you follow a local instead and pretty much put your life in their hands as you dodge amongst the traffic.

We eventually caught a tuk tuk back to the hotel and met Helen, Andy and Jeff in the foyer. That was when I got the good news that I can have a lie in in the morning. And the bad news that you have to pay for wi-fi in this hotel, about £5 for 24 hours for one device. Robbing gits. I'm not paying that so am hoping I can upload this at the airport tomorrow.

We nipped across the road to the 7 Eleven before going back into the hotel. It's a five lane road and a security guard helped us across one way although we could have made it ourselves. On the way back he insisted on helping us again but got very angry with us when we couldn't tell if he was beckoning us or telling us to go back. A right stroppy git he was.

We have now packed and taken into account that it might be a tad colder back home than it is here. The room is fantastic but I'd never trust anywhere that doesn't list how much things are from the mini bar. Or that charges so much for wi-fi; even the homestays in Vietnam had free wi-fi so no excuses Royal Princess, sort it out!

---