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Published: March 14th 2015
Please mam, can I have some more?After five incredible weeks of wandering Thailand and Cambodia, we are back in China!
We managed to plan a perfectly balanced trip that combined the best of everything from the exotic beaches of Thailand to the dusty marketplaces of Cambodia. And at the extreme of everything lies a city unlike any other: Bangkok.
With about ten million people, Bangkok is a bustling enterprise of everything… and more. From fine hotels to decrepit slums, from noisy roads filled with cars, buses, scooters and tuk-tuks to pedestrian streets lined with endless vendors, the untamed Bangkok has something for everyone!
We arrive in Bangkok and ride the local bus to our destination, the famous Koh San Road in the heart of the city. This is the place where one visits to disappear and anything goes.
Up until this point we had stayed at some really nice guesthouses, hotels and resorts, but Koh San Road is a beast unto itself and we figure we have to experience it as intended.
We had pre-booked a hostel in the centre of everything figuring that with one night in Bangkok, we wanted to make the best of it. In all of our various
adventures over the years, neither Erin nor I had ever stayed in a hostel, so this in itself would be a new experience.
We check in and are led to our room. The first floor is a common area that and filled with young backpackers lying on mattresses drinking beer and telling stories. “Looks like a fun place to hangout”, I say to Erin while noticing that we were at least fifteen years older than everyone else.
At the third floor we are led to ‘our’ room. Lining the two sides of the room are twelve beds. We look at each other. We had no idea what hostel living would be like.
We are led to the last bunk; the only empty bed. If nothing else, it looks clean.
Dumping our two backpacks, we go back out to the streets, winding our way through the tangle of stalls selling everything from key chains to clothing to knives to strange foods and alcohol-filled coconuts. And that’s when – as the song goes – I was touched for the very first time.
Despite the many people on the street, I knew that the gentle grope I had
Koh San Road
Night life... something for everyone! received was not accidental and as I turned around my eyes met one of the prettiest girls I had seen since arriving in Bangkok. As she gave me a bright smile and a come-hither look, I could not help notice her incredible figure and perfect skin.
“Erin…” I said excitedly. “I just got my first grope in Bangkok, and fortunately from a really good looking girl!”
Erin turns, smiles and says, “And what an adam’s apple!”
“Ah shit.”
I then notice that the street is lined with these beautiful Thai ‘girls’, every single one of them lady-boys. It was like all the stories I had heard. I was beginning to see how true the
Hangover movies are!
Quickening my stride, we are on Koh San Road a minute later and it is like the world came to life! It is a carnival combined with a marketplace and all rolled into one big party. The music is pounding while foreigners from every corner of the globe are immersed in an orgy of drinking, dancing and laughing. The countless restaurants cater to every taste while vendors sell their wares at next to nothing prices. Pints are poured
– “that’ll be 50 cents” – old ladies jive while offering strange and beautiful gifts, and clubs compete to attract customers with lines of beautiful Thai girls (real ones) clad in skimpy cheerleading outfits.
“Wow”, I said to Erin. “This is how a carnival really should be!”
As we wander down the street, stopping at the occasional stall to try their food or grab a cold drink, I see a cart selling that looks like a buffet of… of… well, I was not quite sure.
“Erin, let’s check out whatever she’s selling”, I say pointing to the interesting cart.
As we approach, I see why I could not initially figure out what it was. Each basketis filled with insects of every kind: grasshoppers, locusts, caterpillar larva, ants, black scorpions…
I have never been shy about trying new things, especially when in a new culture, so I think, why not?
“I think I will give it a try”, I say to Erin. “How much?” I ask the lady who cannot speak English. She points to a sign ‘30TB’ and shows me a ladle. Ah, so 30 Thai Baht for a ladle of insects. Not bad,
a buck for a plate full of insects. “You want some?” Erin’s look tells me that she’ll pass.
Shall I go with the black scorpion? Or maybe the locusts? I point to the basket of cockroaches and think to myself, ‘When in Rome…’
“Well, here goes”, I say to Erin as I take my first spoonful of cockroaches. Trying not to over-think it too much, I place the spoon of roaches in my mouth and begin to chew, quite aware of the crunch as my teeth chew through the ugly little beasts.
“So?” Erin asks watching my face to see whether I will vomit.
“Actually, that’s not bad at all. If I could mix this with some noodles, I think I may be on to something!”
As I walk away with my plate, I notice other foreigners staring at me like I am crazy.
“Yo, what the fuck is that?” some young guy with a European accent asks.
“Cockroach. You wanna try?”
“Ya man, thanks”, he says as he takes one off the plate and eats it. His girlfriend watches in horror.
As we circle around, we arrive back at our
hostel. It is after midnight and we have been traveling all day and have an early flight.
Lucky for us, we are the only ones at the room; it would be nice to get a good night’s rest!
As we climb into our separate bunks I think, not bad for six bucks a night.
My eyes begin to close and just as I am about to drift off, the door flies open and three drunken girls stumble in, falling all over and making more noise than I think is possible. They decide it is too cool in the room and in their drunken haze manage to shut off the air conditioner.
‘Oh, commmmmon’, I think to myself. I look at the clock: 1:34 a.m.
As my mind drifts off again, suddenly I am shocked into alertness when the high-powered fluorescent bulbs over my bunk flicker on to the sound of obnoxious hollering. I am drenched in sweat.
‘What the hell? What time is it?’ Slowly opening my eyes, I see three guys stagger in and I wonder how they even made it up the stairs. They shut the light, but the damage is done.
It is 3:34 a.m.
‘Please no more!’ I think to myself. Poor Erin must be cursing the moon.
My bed starts to bang against the wall.
Now what?
I look over the edge of my bunk and see a girl’s legs flailing about madly and quickly catch the glimpse of the white buttocks of a guy above her, their breathing growing louder and louder. ‘For fuck sakes! Does anyone ever sleep in Bangkok?!’
At 7:00 a.m. we are dressed and ready to head to the airport. Exhausted from not sleeping a minute, I sarcastically ask Erin, “How did you sleep?”
“Great!” she replies sounding refreshed, “You look a bit tired though.” I just want to cry.
Jumping into the cab we relax. Our flight leaves in three hours.
“How long to the airport?” we ask the driver.
“One hour at most”, he says in broken English. Good, lots of time.
One hour and six minute later, we are sitting at the same traffic light less than a block from our hostel. This is not good.
“Excuse me, how much longer? We have been sitting at this light for an hour now!”
“One more hour at most.” Erin and I look at each other with a ‘we’ve missed our flight’ look.
“You said that an hour ago! Our flight leaves in less than an hour!”
“Yeah, it’s okay. One hour.”
We are not getting anywhere yet have no other alternatives. As we inched through the traffic staring at our clock, we finally get onto the highway and the cabbie floors it. One hundred, one ten, twenty, thirty, forty… we may just make it… or find ourselves in a fiery wreck trying.
As the cab screeches into the departure zone, we fly out and race to the front of the check-in line. We are quickly escorted through security. I glance at a clock. Our plane should have left five minutes ago.
Racing through the airport we arrive at our gate. It is empty. We missed our flight.
“This is the absolute final boarding call for flight FD610 to Siem Reap” a voice comes over the loudspeaker.
That’s us! We made it!
As the plane takes off and I look across the expansive city of Bangkok, I huddle up and drift off to sleep.
In the back of my mind an old Murray Head tune is playing:
‘One night in Bangkok makes a hard man crumble…’
You got that right!
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Cheri
non-member comment
At least you made your flight!
I don't know how I missed all that excitement when I visited Bankock with Bubbie and Zaydie- go figure! At least you made your flight. Marty and I missed our flight from Berlin and had to leave the next day. Not so bad since we got to spend some more time with Rae and explore the German countryside a bit more. The flight the next day was not as direct as the original knee we missed and I had an "Oh my God I'm going to miss another flight" moment as I ran through the Washingtonairport- I'll tell you that story when you get back! Sounds like you had quite an adventure.