Bangkok Begins

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So, on the night of my arrival at the hotel, I venture down to the dining room and sit outside by the pool ... it is still in the higher 20's and humid as hell. As I'm unsure of the portion sizes, I opt for the Chicken and Cashew nut stir-fry with Jasmine rice and a further course of Pad Thai which come out after about 15 minutes. Hmmm ... think I over did it on the Pad Thai .... it is enormous!

Definitely enough to satisfy a quartet of ladyboys! Anyway, I'm hungry and manage to get through about half of it before waving the white flag. The food is delicious and I leave well satisfied before retiring to bed; falling asleep to sound of the TV which is on to mask the sound of the Chinese Triads in the room next door.

Morning comes and breakfast consists of a selection of fresh fruit accompanied by a banana and dragon fruit smoothie. This is followed by some ham, feta cheese, smoked duck and some bread.

As pre-arranged, I meet up with the Sales Director of the hotel and she gives me a tour of the hotel, showing me the amazing rooms that they have not allocated to me! She definitely thinks I am high up at TRP ... I don't have the heart to tell her that I left 3 weeks ago! After the informative tour I am taken to lunch. This time I opt for the buffet and there is a huge choice of cuisines from around the World, but I stick with Asian, especially not wanting to offend my generous host!

So I have a Thai speciality, khao soi (soft noodles cooked in a special way) with a chicken curry which continues my experience of the food in this hotel ... bloody lovely! I then have some sushi and small portions of various Asian salads. My host also gets me a non-alcoholic Pina Colada which does come out looking like Del Boy had ordered it ... no umbrella though! Despite my protests of being full up, my host shows me the delicacies that have been freshly made and force feeds me several small cakes and slices ... and ice cream! This is all finished off with a cappuccino.

Somehow manage to haul my belly back to the room where I have to lay down to prevent gravity doing it for me.

Following on from information received from a friend living over here and further advice from my host, I plan my journey to witness the annual festival of Loi Krathong which, fortunately for me, falls today.

Putting the plan into action I make my way through the varied assortment of Asian lovelies, businessmen, beggars, shoppers and probable ladyboys to the local Sky train station, noting the 'famous' Annie's Massage place opposite the hotel (later online research indicates this establishment specialises in Soapy Massages!!! Look it up on the Internet!!!).

Get myself a day pass for 130 Baht and make my way via one change to Saphan Tapsin, which is located on the Chao Praya river. Travelling on the Sky train is very easy, with signs in English as well as Thai. Being on the train, one can not fail but to notice that everyone is on their mobile phone. The trains are also very clean with interesting video and static adverts, my favourite being for a TV show, called the Toilet Show which is hosted by an Austin Powers lookalike.

Anyway ... back to Saphan Tapsin,

There are a lot of people here; it is a popular embarkation point for trips along the river and as tonight is the night of the Loi Krathong festival the whole of Bangkok seems to be here. I do notice however a distinct lack of Westerners, apart from a few groups of rich Americans waiting for their hotel shuttle boats to take them to their 5 star seclusion zones away from anything remotely Thai.

The queue for the free shuttle boat to the area known as Asiatique is long but after about half hour wait I'm on my way. The light fades quickly and we are treated to a beautiful sunset over the river as we approach the disembarkation point. Asiatique is a fairly new complex consisting of bars, restaurants, markets and entertainment areas and it is here that I have chosen to observe the rituals of Loi Krathong.

Loi Krathong takes place on the evening of the full moon of the 12th month in the traditional Thai Lunar calendar. People launch their krathong on a stretch of water, making a wish as they do so, paying respect to the water spirits. A krathong is a basket decorated with elaborately-folded banana leaves, incense sticks and candles.

These krathongs are incredibly varied and are either bought from the market or made individually. It is quite a spectacle observing this ritual; interestingly it seems to be done by mainly attractive ladies in their 20's! After watching this for a while, I explore the area surrounding the promenade and find a festival celebrating the river. This consists of various traditional music and song being performed by different groups and many stalls selling wares of all sorts, especially local foods and handicrafts.

Further wandering leads me to Flann O'Briens; yep a good ol' Irish bar where I have a pint of Magners for not much less than it costs back home and watch a rerun of an Arsenal v Aston Villa Premiership match. Once refreshed, I make the long journey back to the hotel via queues, boat and Sky trains, all of which are busy but running efficiently so I'm back at base with enough time to report in to headquarters.

A sleepless night brings with it the opportunity to head down for breakfast at 6AM and I am surprised that I am not the only one. Feeling hungry having not eaten since yesterday's feasting, I help myself to a full English ... minus the eggs as I can not find them, Thai style with some potato and onion balls! I also try various different fruit juices ... see, I can do healthy! I then have some cold meats and cheese followed by a selection of pastries ... well, I do have my figure to look after you know!

I can not wait to get out of this hotel and away from the culinary temptations!!!

Go back to my room for a little lie down and then wake up at 11!!! Damn ... I was planning so much for the day. Feel even more tired than I did before falling asleep so take a cold shower followed by several cups of coffee ... no improvement but I don't want to waste a precious day. So ... get dressed and head back to the Sky train station and onto Saphan Tapsin where I was yesterday.

Now, it was sunny and dry when I left the hotel so I was totally unprepared for the torrential rain and thunderstorms which came out of nowhere and then lurked around for the rest of the day. This changed my plans as I was hoping to visit the Grand Palace and various other temples, which are not particularly suitable for viewing when looking like a drowned rat. So, as I had already purchased a boat day pass for the various journeys needed for my planned religious crusade, I decided to take a trip up and down the river without getting off.

Unfortunately, due to the amount of rain, visibility was not very good and the plastic sheeting was pulled down over the sides to prevent water coming in but it was an experience! At the end of the trip upstream, rather than turn around, the crew decided to mutiny and chucked us all off before taking the boat elsewhere, leaving us stranded in a tiny shelter with nowhere to go other than an uncovered restaurant and 30 minutes to wait for the next boat. However, this was a bit of a God send as during this time, the rain began to ease. So much so that by the time we were back on a boat, I ventured to the uncovered bow and was able to enjoy the view, albeit still slightly murky.

Back at Saphan Tapsin, I took the Sky train to Siam which hosts what I believe to be the biggest shopping malls in Asia. Whilst shopping was not on my agenda, the opportunity to dry out and window shop was appealing. Now, I always thought that Thai people are poor? Well, this place clearly caters for the mega rich 1%. All the top designers have a presence here ... think of Milan but in the 21st Century! Not only were there fashion store here, they also had a variety of the best car showrooms in existence ... McLaren, Rolls Royce, Aston Martin, Lamborghini, etc together with a Ducati showroom. Also, these were not on the ground floor!

There was also a huge food court with umpteen number of restaurants, takeaways, etc and a food hall on a par with Harrods! I didn't stay there long.

On my way out I was somewhat flabbergasted to see a Leicester City store!!! Of course I went in and watched highlights of their achievements on a TV. After about a minute I was back on my journey, heading back, yet again to Saphan Tapsin.

This time, I was heading to Asiatique where I was last night. Whilst the boat journey there was rather cramped (and again no Westerners) the people all seemed to disappear when we arrived at our destination. It was certainly a contrast to last night's crowds. The festival had obviously gone and coupled with the damp weather, the place seemed eerily quiet. Perfect.

Wandered around the market but didn't see anything I fancied and, by now, I was getting peckish. Resisting the allure of the Irish bar I head to a Japanese restaurant called 55 fujiyama go-go. Wow ... I am instantly greeted by about half-a-dozen young Japanese ladies in costume all bowing and shouting something at me which I can only assume was some form of polite greeting or thanking me for Hiroshima!

Feeling adventurous I order pan fried scallops with octopus and potato ... plus a Chang beer. I know the beer was not very adventurous but I was thirsty and the plum wine punch looked evil. Although the food was nice, it was a bit too oily for my palate .... not the standard that I've gotten used to in Thailand. But a good experience none-the-less.

Stomach contents replenished, I then make my way back to the hotel - the route now almost second nature. The boat is definitely quieter and it has finally stopped raining. Trains are reliable as ever and I am back in my room about an hour after leaving Asiatique. The evening is spent uploading pictures from the past couple of days, talking with friends and writing up this bloody thing!

It is now 01:40 so now is the time to retire to bed.

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