Bangkok III: Return to the Shadow

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How many trips to Bangkok are too many? For a city I had only previously known of from the infamous children’s prank where you end up kicking a friend in the no-no region, I’ve certainly spent my fair share of time in this wild city. This metropolitan forest has played host to me and my various adventures and activities at least once a year over the past 3 years, and I am fortunate for having such luck. The culture, food, architecture, and vibrant nightlife of Thailand all converge on this growing city making it a hot spot for most backpackers traveling through Southeast Asia. As many of my trips have been prior, my most recent visit was anything but boring and certainly memorable.

No Man’s Land and the Journey to the BKK

So our time in Cambodia sadly came to an end faster than I had expected. Brad and I awoke at 6 and packed our things to prepare for the next leg of the journey: Thailand; land of smiles. We were both pretty pumped to be moving on and made haste getting ready and checking out of the hostel. Marc and Lora met us with the cab that would drive us towards the border. After a quick breakfast, we were back on the single lane highway that would take us to the border town of Poipet.

I slept most of the 3 hour journey along the rollercoaster-like roadway and awoke as we were entering the small town of Poipet. It is the most popular place to cross the border between Cambodai and Thailand, yet it was not too busy as we waited in a short line at immigration in order to officially depart Cambodia. Within a few moments, I was walking across the border of Cambodia and officially… nowhere. Between immigration in Poipet, and the Cambodian border lay no man’s land; the place of legend. Honestly, besides a horde of beggars, a casino, and multiple drivers trying to sell cab rides to Bangkok, there wasn’t much there to speak of. We walked about a hundred yards to the bridge and snapped some photos of the friendship bridge connecting the two countries together and formally separating them from each other.

We waited in yet another line at Thai immigration and within about 20 minutes, I was safely in one of my favorite countries ever. The area surrounding immigration was riddled with cabbies, tuk-tuk drivers, and bus companies offering outrageous prices for transportation around Thailand. Luckily, I had done the bar minimum amount of research necessary to know we had to get to the town of Aranyaprathet in order to secure the best bus to Bangkok. We walked on for about 5 minutes before seeing signs indicating the town to be about 7 kilometers away. Oops, so I guess I didn’t have the whole thing planned out to a T… but I was… sort of close right. Having walked away from the main area, we were essentially on the side of the road in the middle of nowhere without hope of finding a cab. Luckily, in the confusion of crossing the border, responsibility got muddled up among us and no one seemed to be blaming me; surely I wasn’t going to freely take on that sort of heat so early on, so I let it lie. Finally, we were able to catch a tuk-tuk and negotiate a lift to the bus station at Aranya. Unfortunately, it was… THE SMALLEST TUK-TUK ON EARTH. Seriously, I’ve been in all too many of these death traps in my day, but this one could barely fit two full grown adults in it without bags, and here we had four with enough baggage to survive two weeks. I remembered a little bit of Thai from my old days of fluency in the language (lie alert!) and got us all set up. Then, I finally uncovered the mystery of how those clown cars at the zoo fit so many people into that little VW Bug… you just need to dislocate some shoulders, break a few kneecaps, and make yourself as uncomfortable as humanly possible… it’s a snap! We laughed and joked at our misfortune while I gasped for what little air my lungs could hold as we clambered on down the road in a tuk-tuk that more than likely fell apart after we climbed out.

We finally made it to Aranyaprathet, border town and all around… sh**whole. Sorry, but I call it like I see it, and don’t call me ethnocentric or judgmental… we are talking about a town that features two things: a bus station and (and I’m not making this up) a “cement reservoir.” I don’t even know what that means, but you can at least sympathize with the fact that not much really existed here. We had some trouble finding the station and bargaining in USD’s and useless Cambodian Riel since we didn’t have Thai Baht yet, however, in the end it all worked out and we were able to get a bus to Bangkok for about fifteen bucks or so. Marc and Lora had to go elsewhere since they were breaking off from the party to Kho Chang. Like every fellowship does upon separation, we fought off a band of merciless Uruk-Hai, saved the ring from capture, and boarded our separate vessels bound for our destination. Off we were on a six hour ride to Bangkok on our “VIP” bus bound west. As far as busses go, it was pretty darn comfortable and they even gave us snacks… hooray!

A few hours passed and we reached the bus station on the outskirts of Bangkok. As the guide from here on out (it was Brad’s first time to BKK) I pretended to know where I was even though (as far as I knew) we could have been in Mogadishu at that point. Still, we boarded yet another tuk-tuk and took (hehe… tuk-tuk took) the long ride to Hualumphong Train Station through the gridlocked Bangkok streets.

Khao San Road: The Gateway to SE Asia

Quickly we bought our train tickets to the Laos border and sought out transportation outside the station to reach the backpackers area of Bangkok. It took a bit of work, but finally we got into a tuk-tuk with… Bossman. Bossman was the biggest boss that I’ve seen thus far, the realist driver, a man that everyday… is hustling. No doubt raised on the streets of this fine city, Bossman warned us of impending dangers getting our bags stolen before proceeding to drive at 3 times the normal speed limit through standstill traffic. Three times, I thought it was all over… it was a good run but… time to go Mr. Godlewski. Still, he somehow squeezed through impossible cracks and darted down impassable lines in the traffic. Twice, he exited the tuk-tuk to have words with other drivers, evil words at that. Four times, he just stopped and talked to people on the streets. Once he even had to pull out the bear wiring of his tuk-tuk to keep us going; the whole time with a real “oh yea I’m the man” look on his face. Just when I thought he was just a dead up badass… he showed compassion. We were parked next to a tuk-tuk with a family in it and he started making faces and playing with the little girl in the back. She loved him! Everyone loved Bossman! Right after that, he was back with his foot to the floor rushing us to Khao San Road where we left our hero of the story. So long Bossman… good luck living the life.

We found a hostel called The Kwai hostel which ended up being relatively cheap at about 250 baht a night and got ready for some exploring of the area. I introduced Brad to delicious dollar Pad Thai (which I think is all we ate the rest of the trip) and we had a few (well 5 to be exact) cold Chung beers while observing the streets of Khao San come to life.

Khao San really is an experience in and of itself. I’ve never been to Vegas (most would say that that’s a good idea… safe even… similar to the decision for a human not to walk into a hibernating bear’s cave and poking it with a stick really), but the dazzling lights that flood the streets surely must resemble it in some ways no doubt. Since I used to go to school here, I didn’t spend a ton of time on this road; it’s meant more for backpackers temporarily stopping over before catching a flight or train to other destinations on the continent and has served as such a hub for many years. For this reason, Khao San is dominated by foreigners at all times and it can get a bit overwhelming. Still, it’s a great place to meet people doing the same thing you are while slugging back a few brews and trying to avoid the temptations of attending the infamous “Ping Pong” shows. I have no more to say on that matter.

So Brad and I sat back and enjoyed a nice long bar crawl late into the night while haggling down some prices buying clothing and souvenirs. At our final bar, we were shocked to find a 12 year old Canadian kid out playing with firecrackers at 3am. It was odd, but for Khao San Road… anything is really possible so we tried not to think much of it and returned to our drinks. Then disaster struck… the hornets nest was stabbed. The little brat walked up to our table and jabbed a sparkler right into Brad’s face. The skies were dark that night my friends and I saw the red in my companion’s eyes as the flame nearly missed burning him. Luckily, he was able to compose himself enough to lightly push the kid away and instead take out his anger on the woman sitting next to us. He vented how it was ridiculous the parents were not stopping this behavior and allowing him out to begin with. Totally legitimate claim that should have been met with an agreeing nod until, the mother sat down next to the lady at the table next to Brad. Apparently, they were friends. Well we knew this wasn’t going to go over well and we took a little flak for the rest of the night but we had a bucket of Chung in front of us… what were we going to do leave? Ha! I think not. Tensions soon dissipated as we drank into the wee hours of the morning and finally staggered home to welcomed sleep.

Temple of the Dawn and Markets of Legend

The next morning, we grudgingly pulled ourselves out of bed and got ready to do at least a few “touristy” things on our one full day in Bangkok. We got some more delicious Pad Thai on our way towards the Chao Phraya River for some sights. Okay, quick confession, I just looked up the name of that river now. Embarrassingly, even after living in Bangkok for 4 months, and visiting three times, I never quite knew the name of the river… but would you? I mean… Chao Phraya… who can remember that? It’s not even like… too historical like the Ganges, Indus, Yellow, or Han… we at least learn about those. I still have never even heard of the river and if you mention it to me down the road… I would have no clue what country it’s in. Whatever, I can’t know everything after all. Moving on, I got us a bit lost (bite me) trying to find us a ferry to Wat Arun, but after a few minutes we were on a sketchy water taxi chugging along my favorite river… the Chao Phraya.

The river isn’t much to look at, but it provides great views of the beautiful city skyline that we gazed at before getting out to visit my favorite temple in Bangkok: Wat Arun. Otherwise known as “The Temple of the Dawn” (so cool right!), this temple towers over the river at about 250 feet tall and can be seen up and down while taxiing along the water. The architecture of the temple is truly amazing, Chinese soldiers and animals are carved into the base along all sides that are decorated with various sea shells and porcelain ornaments. Steep steps lead up the two terraces and at the very top, elephant trunks shoot out from the massive structure. We climbed up the large, ladder-like steps to the top, snapped some photos and marveled at the afternoon skyline. For a while, we went into the various shops surrounding the temple and walked around the grounds before getting back on the ferry bound for the BTS Station at Thaksin. Once there, we hopped on the oddly empty Sky Train and headed towards the central business district.

For most of the rest of the day, I showed Brad the main areas of central Bangkok exploring the mass malls of MBK (basically an indoor street market composing of 9 levels), Siam Plaza, and Central World. We then took the skywalk to the Chit Lom Station where I attended graduate school. Ah, the memories of grad school came rushing back as I stood at the base of the Maneeya Center that housed Webster University on the top floor. However, there was no time to visit and we had places to go. Taking a few minutes for culture, I stopped in front of the Thao Maha Phrom (or Erawan Shrine) that I always used to pass on my way to school. This Hindu shrine has been the cause of controversy in Bangkok but still stands as a major tourist attraction that attracts Hindu’s and Buddhist’s alike from across the world. What always interested me was how it was such a central religious monument, yet located at one of the busiest intersections in Bangkok. Still, it is something worthwhile to check out.

We pressed on through the streets till the sun came down and we reached my old home “The Chateau De Bangkok.” Brad marveled at how nice a place Webster put us up in while staying there and I had flashbacks of Gilby’s Gin parties in my suite, returning home from drunken nights out, stressful writings of papers in the lounge, and swimming on our rooftop pool with the rest of the Webster Global’s: the good old days as they were. Still, I didn’t mean to linger and was eager to show Brad the Suan Lun Night Bazaar a ways away from where we were. To get there, I was able to retrace my old “secret way” (through the marshes) through back alley’s that most would not dare to venture. Then again, I have been compared to a young Harrison Ford and still felt up for the challenge of venturing to uncharted, potentially dangerous territories in search of treasures (or in this case… cheap food, beer, and souvenirs).

Turning the corners and navigating the narrow streets filled with garbage and potentially live wires, I told Brad stories of the old days. Of coming to the night bazaar to hear terrible amateur music on the stage while drinking cheap beer, eating even cheaper food and meeting characters from around the world. Once drunk off Chung, with full bellies we would walk through the markets bargaining our way to new shirts, paintings, statues, jerseys, anything you could possibly ever need. The smile quickly faded as we stood face to face at the entrance and found… Mordor. A barren wasteland where the very air you breathe is…. Okay no more LOTR references I promise. The empty lot was filled with the ruins of a once prosperous venue. It was gone! The bazaar had been destroyed and was no longer there. I felt the wind depart my sails for someone who might actually have a plan that unfolded accordingly. I felt awful, both for myself and for leading Brad into this crisis. Still, we had to recoup and move on, and what better place to start than a cab ride to Nana Soi 3… the center of sin on Earth (I would later in the trip learn that his was possible to overcome in Hong Kong… different day… different story… different Mansion).

Into the Darkness

We slammed back some cheap rum and Coke’s while watching beggars, children, lady-boys (exactly what they sound like), and “ladies of the night” wander about in efforts to barter their services. The whole thing is very entertaining and from the start, my spirits began to rise as the Mekong Whiskey caught up. However, with such little time in Bangkok, there was no time to sit idly. We made our way across the street as I was almost hit by my 3rd car of the trip, to the markets that lined the opposite sidewalk. We walked avoiding the cat calls from the vendors: “suit? You want suit sir?””tuk-tuk… where you go sir?” “ooo handsome man!” “I give you very good price!” and walked the long march to Soi 14, known worldwide as “Soi Cowboy.”

Built for the soldiers returning from the front lines of Vietnam in the 1970’s, Soi Cowboy is a lot like Nana; filled with venues for men seeking extra-curricular activities, cheap food, and bars lining each side of the street. The main reason to visit (other than the obvious) is to marvel at the vibrant lights that almost blind you walking down the street. If it wasn’t such a sketchy place, I would go so far as to call it beautiful. Brad and I sat at the far end, away from most of the sketchiness and found a good deal on some beers. There, we talked to some Scandinavian women on vacation for a bit before meeting little Charlie. Charlie was a great kid. At first, he seemed like any one of the other many beggars in Bangkok before Brad and I realized he wasn’t selling stuff, he was just bored. He hung out and talked with us for a while and we entertained him and bought him some food (giving kids here money almost never ends up in the poor children’s hands as their “handlers” keep it in the long run, it’s a sad story and often a vicious cycle, but… such are places in this world and the best we could do was at least try and play with Charlie and feed him a bit) and he made us laugh. He really was a smart kid and it was great meeting him, but soon we had to move on back towards our hostel.

Along the way home, we decided to stop halfway at one of the various small stands on the street for a drink. One drink… that’s all we wanted to have. It’s not much to ask you know: “let’s just have one drink, go home, get some rest, and get ready for the next leg of our trip.” If only I could learn from previous lessons, I would know the chances of such aspirations from transpiring. We had our one drink, our one beer, and stood to leave. However, the Swedish (?) man sitting next to us was having none of this. Apparently, he was quite fond of Brad and me hanging out with him and his friends and he didn’t want us to leave yet. So, he bought us a cocktail, then another, then 1.6 million more until the world began to go black… sort of like the end of a Looney Toon’s cartoon… “badee badee badee that’s all folks!”

Laughter and confusion filled the rest of the evening as we mingled with our new found friends. At some point, we must have met another group who took a liking to us because before we knew it, we were tuk-tuking it (“tuk-tuking it” is a patented term attached to Skimango Inc. for those unaware) to some ungodly corner of Bangkok that even I was unfamiliar with. It was there that we entered a strange club, Brad in his kerchief and I in my cap… in no way settling down for any sort of nap as we danced the night away. All events that unfolded are not accounted for, all that’s known for sure is that Brad left before me, and I returned to Khao San Road as the sun was high in the sky. Do you know how terrible a man feels as he holds his hands over his eyes, hiding from the sun like a vampire, hair sticking up as though he was struck by a bolt of lightning, watching sprightly tourist skipping off with full bags to take in a full day of culture and tourism? I do… and it sucks. I just wanted to die.

Back at the hostel, I found Brad missing from his bed and scowered the building at 9am babbling “Brad! Brad where are you!? I’ve abandoned my Brad!” Turns out, he was in the l'eau (felt like classing it up a bit) the whole time. We quickly tried to piece together our night and set the alarm to wake us up in time for our 11:30 checkout.

When I turned my head to see the clock after glorious sleep, the clock read 4:30pm; a mere 5 hours late for checkout… there’s no excuse for that; not one. I shook Brad awake, we packed as fast as possible (some might say even quick enough to make the Kessel run in 12 parsecs…. Hey I never promised to hold off my Star Wars references… let me have my moment) showered, and ran down to apologize. Graciously, the concierge returned half our deposit, and we ran forth to get to Hualumphong in time for our 8pm train to the border.

The World’s Greatest Night Train

Despite the night we had, we miraculously were early for our train and had some time to sit outside the station and have one final Chung before saying goodbye to Bangkok. We made a new friend, Justin from the US, and recounted our travels while sharing in a few drinks prior to departure. It was on that stoop, waiting for our train, that I realized this was more than likely my last hour in Bangkok; a city I have come to love and call a home away from home over the past few years. It made me sad, but I had an odd feeling that, although I always seem to get pulled back into this city whenever I travel, that this would be it. Still, better to have Bankoked and lost, than never to have… I should just stop because this isn’t sounding the way I’m intending. So, I watched the sun fall behind the cheap hotels across the street and smiled; it’s been one hell of a ride my fair city. We took our last sip of beer, left the bottles on the stoop and headed for our train: the number 66 night train bound for Nong Kai.

On entering sleeper car number 11, it was a confusing situation to deal with: there were small, sort of pod-like beds on the top level with large mesh bags notched onto them. Our seat numbers were confusing to figure out, but luckily an Angel saved the day for us. Here I met my new Dutch friend Suzanna, from Haarlem, The Netherlands; not far at all from where I once went to school. She told us we had upper bunks and helped the confused Americans get settled in for the long journey north. Suzanna was a great girl to hang out with for a bit before fading off to bed. We had some Chung beers with her once the train started chugging down the tracks and exchanged stories of our time in Bangkok. Unfortunately, she was bound for a different destination and was heading off towards Chiang Mai (*sigh* I love that city) rather than the Thai/Laos border. Still, we had some fun drinking and playing card games with her until… we met Ric the Thai; my dear sweet Ric.

Ric was a man who truly embodied the land of smiles in everyway possible. I passed him on the way to the bathroom and said a quick “sawadee” and he was all too quick to return my greeting with a shake of the hand. Side bar: the bathroom situation on train 66. This thing just screamed out “class” more than an episode of MTV’s CRIBS . Never in all my years did I expect to see what I came across in that place. Now I know I’ve described the SE Asian toilet situation many times before; the squatter toilets without seats, the (pardon my French but it’s the truth) “ass hoses” used in place of toilet paper, and the showers that stand un-separated from the… doo-doo area (hehe). This though, was upping the ante; taking bathrooms to a whole new level with their disposal system. No joke, there is just a hole in the room leading to the tracks below for you to relieve yourself in! Unbelievable! It just falls out onto the tracks… Brad saw kids playing on those tracks! Thank God I stayed away from curry that day, otherwise the railroad system would have a whole mess of new troubles to deal with. So there’s a brief overview of the facilities… now back to Ric.

Ric and I spoke together in between the train cars for a while (maybe one of the coolest places I have ever hung out by the way) while he ripped some cigarettes and let me practice a little of my Thai skills on him. Before long, Brad and Suzanna joined us and the party between cars 10 and 11 was on! Ric quietly went back into the car (it was getting late and the conductor was repeatedly asking us to pipe down) and brought back Thailand’s finest whiskey… Hong Thong. After procuring a few dirt glasses and some ice, the three of us were slugging back the sauce with our new friend while looking down at the links connecting the train together. Soon, we were stealing security hats from the office and snapping off pictures of us geared up to be conductors. It was fantastic! However, as all things do, it abruptly came to an end when Ric translated a security officers orders for us to go to bed. I presented him a pen and told him to give me his email which he claimed to be “very eeasy.” Here is a rough sketch of what I got listed on my notepad "lllbhyuill#rll." Seriously Ric… I wish you could have at least attempted to write legibly, I suppose I shall never again see my old Thai friend. Oh, well… life does go on I suppose… anyways.

That was pretty much it for the train ride; I climbed up into my small bed area and lay down to read “The Collected Works of William Shakespeare” (aka The Fellowship of the Ring) while being slowly rocked back and forth by the train. As bad as it might sound being crammed in a tiny space for 12 hours, I was actually very comfortable riding to Nong Kai. In a sick way, I really enjoyed it… so much so that I didn’t sleep a wink that night. I just stayed up reading, listening to my music, and peering out the window into the blackness of the countryside beyond. A great night for some contemplation and relaxation; though a questionable decision for the energy I would soon need for the next leg of my adventure: Laos was knocking at the door… and I had no idea what was yet to come.

It was here in Bangkok that I had said my greetings to Asia just a few short years ago, yet somehow it seems like just yesterday. Besides Italy, Thailand is the only country I have ever visited twice and it is certainly easy to understand why. The people, food, culture, and history of this beautiful land holds a special place in my heart, and it always will. Though originally I only wanted to stop briefly here on our trip so as to see more unknown areas to me, in the end it was one of the best decisions to spend the full three days in Bangkok. I know it may not be the true heart and soul of Thailand, or the most scenic, but it is one of the most lively and exciting; and for that I am grateful for the many adventures I have embarked on here. Carpe Vita

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