The Thai(m) of your life

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Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it. — Ferris Bueller.

Delighted I got to quote that movie. My month in Thailand has been a lot like that though and its passed by in a bit of a blur, I've done and seen so much that its only when I stop to write these blogs that I realise what I have wracked up. I've scuba dived, trekked jungles, rafted rivers, ridden elephants, explored waterfalls, swum in seas, lazed on beaches, watched muay thai boxing, ladyboy shows, avoided prostitutes, cross dressed, attended raves, partied like its 1999, met some amazing people and seen some great sights, its the very epitomy of why I came travelling and I hope the rest of the months are the same. So allow me to catch my breath, wax lyrical and regale you with all my adventures so far, for that is the purpose of these blogs.

Phuket
When we last corresponded (granted, its a one way exchange)I had just left Java, a place that renewed my travelling passion, which I enjoyed and kept me away from wanting to go and play with the traffic. I flew from Jakarta to Kuala Lumpar and then on to Phuket, on the west coast of Thailand. I was pleased to be heading here as last time in Thailand me and Dave were due to head to Phuket and Phi Phi, except Mother Nature decided that sending a tsunami was a better idea, she can be a stern woman at times. Sadly it turned out that I needn't have gone this time and it was the only lowlight of Thailand, I intended to spend a week here but left after just 2 days. It was basically Bali all over again, and quickly rivalled Koh Samui as my top tip of places to avoid here. Over commercialised, Neon signed, lady boys and prostitues every 5 steps, old fat bald guys with Thai brides (accepted, that could well be me in 30years time) and the whole place geared around one seedy main street lined with bars and brothels. Actually what am I complaining about, maybe I'll head back..Again this place may have been better with a group of mates but I don't think it was that, the places just had nothing to offer, STD's and half man/women aside, even the weather was against me so i quickly left.

Koh Phi Phi Don
And so it was on to Phi Phi, much more my cup of tea (Oh how I'm missing a decent cuppa, friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your kettles when I'm back, I'm gagging for a decent brew!) The island is famous for being the apparent inspiration for the Lenny Cap film 'The Beach', although thats actually a smaller island just south called Phi Phi Leh. The surroundings are gorgeous, the stereotypical images you would expect to see, stunningly clear turqoise waters, beautiful sandy beaches, endless limestone cliffs forming rocky coves just dying to be pictured and put on postcards, it was easy to be enthralled. The island had a real laid back vibe too and life seemed to move about 2 miles an hour here. The locals were bright and happy, not overly forecful or hassling like many other places. There was a good bar scene but not over the top like say on Phuket, Mcdonalds et al have yet to hit, the restaurants were nice, guesthouses clean and the weather held out. It can be said that this place is also in danger of becoming too touristy but I think it is just on the right side of the line, I hope it stays there. More by good luck rather than design I also landed here in time for the Half Moon Party, the Full Moons lesser brother I suppose. This turned out to be a great night of fire twirlers, drunken antics and beach/sea dancing, hard to beat really. I met some good people this night too, approaching people in a packed bar in Bali etc isn't really my bag baby, but getting chatting to random people whilst sat on a beach, drink in hand, watching Thai people eat fire etc, its easy to strike up conversations. I mainly fell in with a Manchester couple named Jay and Laura and would end up spending about a week with them, we drank too much, explored the island, watched muay thai boxing, and were scarred for life by a lady boy karaoke drag queen kinda act. Once you have seen 15 he/shes in full sequin gowns miming to Tina Turner etc for an hour its not an easy experience to forget. I considered joining them seeing as thats the kind of thing I seem to do most on these travels but I resisted the urge. The tsunami memorial was basic ,but that combined with the Bali memorial have served to be a hefty reminder of the fickle nature of life and what can be hidden around corners, so I'm intending to live it whilst I can.

Koh Phangan
Next up was Koh Phangan, my previous favourite spot when I visited Thailand and it didn't dissapoint this time, I just love the place, this is how Phuket etc should be, or perhaps I hope Koh Phangan never becomes Phuket. Much the same vibe and layout as Phi Phi, laid back locals, nice food, great cheap street vendor food stalls, everything within barefoot walking distance, and bars that sit on the beach meaning you sit out in deckchairs sipping drinks, watching the sun go down, chatting rubbish, and once sufficiently drunk you dance on the beach and party till the sun comes up, its a long way from Kansas Dorothy. Everyone heads there for the monthly full moon party, the only side effect being guesthouse prices rise, which is a shame, but in most the minimum stay is 5 days, so the end result is a large influx of people to the one main spot, who are all there a while and there to party.You wake up, hit the beach or do a trip around the island, relax, have some food, then head out in the night, its a tough way to spend a week. There were several highlights here, and it should be of no surprise to anyone that it involved me cross dressing for about the umm 56th time since I left home. In my defence it was a cross dressing pool party and it seemed rude not to join in, or of course I'm just getting worse, you decide. As I'm now adept at picking a great outfit me and Geoff looked stunning, colourful sarongs, bikini tops and pink headbands, there's being in touch with your feminine side and there is groping your feminine side! It was as good a night as Mardi Gras though, the whole party was dressed up so you felt like less of a weirdo and there was lots of good times and laughs had. I felt like the belle at the ball, or a belle with balls, but hey this is Thailand after all.

The full moon party was insane, although I actually enjoyed it less than the nights leading up to it. At those times the beach was slightly less manic, still busy and bars everywhere and people in the thousands, but the actual night of the full moon the numbers seemed to double and our big group quickly dispered in the chaos which was a shame. But the moon was high, the alcohol free flowing and the mood right so we all had a great night. Of the week we were there we hit it hard all but one night I think, quickly becoming addicted to the local drinks, the infamous samsung buckets. You basically visit one of the bar vendors of which there are plenty along the beach, and for the price of about 2-3quid they hand you your typical seaside sandcastle making bucket. They fill it with ice, hand you a full bottle of samsung (rum, but you can also choose vodka etc), a can of coke and a bottle of the original red bull (the stuff thats meant to be illegal in the UK). You pour said items into the bucket, grab a few straws and off you go, after a couple of buckets you are well on your way to a messy night, superb. The beach was lined with about 15 bars, each one with its own music, atmosphere and vibe, some had fire twirlers, fire limbo etc, and you would wander the beach barefoot, bucket in hand and stop and start as much as the mood took you, I could have stayed a month. We tried to fill the days with something other than hangovers, the highlight of these being a boat trip around the island, visiting the other beaches, coves etc, and getting the chance to do some cool snorkelling. We also stopped off at a waterfall, now Niagra it wasn't but it did have the bonus of being one you could explore, where a guide lead about 5 or 6 hearty souls through caves, swimming tunnels, dropping into plunge pools, leaping off rocks etc, it was a great day. We amassed a large crew on Phangan too for the week and its one of the sad parts of travelling that you met good people and have to say goodbye all too soon. I farewelled Jay and Laura here, as well as Geoff, a great Aussie guy who cross dressed with me, drank more buckets than should be allowed and we had a blast. The crew at some stages was up to about 10 people on some nights, names, faces, moments I sometime forget exactly at times like this. I also fell in with a couple of English boys called Nick and Tom, who I would end up sharing the next 3 weeks with.

Koh Tao
Next up was Koh Tao, which is apparently reknown for being one of the best places in the world to learn to suba dive due to its cheap prices and good views. I opted for the 4 day PADI, and passed, which means I am techincally a certifed scuba diver and can hop on a set of tanks with a buddy and jump in the sea if I so choose. I am available for hire should any James Bond casting agents be reading this. I mainly wanted to do it for the depth, before this I was a pro of a whole 4 dives in Australia, but none ever deeper than around 6-7 metres. This PADI offered the chance of 4 dives across 4 days, going down to a maximum of 18 metres, happy days. Day one was in a classroom, lots of it quite technical and a few quizzes and exams to pass. Day two was more books and exams (apparently there are rules and dangers on just going deep underwater-who knew?!)(this was later brought back to me with the recent news of 5 divers going missing in a strong current in Bali!!) and then the afternoon practising skills in a pool. Across the 4 days we had to become competent at 15 skills whilst at the bottom of the sea, ranging from buoyancy tests, navigating, removing masks and air supplies, ascents when in danger etc, it was all quite interesting and exciting, although being 15metres under and having someone turn your air off is a strange feeling I can tell you that much. Days 3 and 4 were solely diving, starting off easy at 10 and 12 metres and then going down to 15 and 18 metres, it was a brilliant sensation to be that deep and look up at the waves and sky so far away. The dives themselves were actually not as good viewing wise as the ones in Australia in my opinion, the visibility and fish were better on the Barrier Reef. However, the PADI won for depth, some stunning topography when gliding between large formations etc, and the general great 4 days we had in a good group of guys. The DVD watching of the sessions and last day pi*s up were a real treat. Our divemaster was Justin, a loveable Cockney/Brummie with about 50 sayings so if I come home saying 'Happy Dayyyys' every 2 minutes he is the man to blame. Our group was about 20 but split beteen 3 smaller groups for the dives, so mine was me, Nick, 2 Kiwis named Matt and Jesse, a Swiss named Miro and an Israeli called Shai, an eclectic group we were but got on well and enjoyed it. I was severly tempted to then do the advanced course, which meant 3 more dives at 30metres and also a night dive but I pushed the boat out (good pun) enough with the PADI so couldn't stretch to it, gutting but I enjoyed the dives too much to be upset.

Chiang Mai
A slight digression if you don't mind-you have no choice really, Nick and Tom were the two lads I met on Phangan, Tom likes mopeds, driving fast and has recently passed his test back home. Naturally, he fell off. The result was a badly cut leg which got infected to the extent that he had to fly home and get it treated-mental note-ensure you bought travel insurance Michael. He would later fly back out and meet us in Bangkok, but for the main it was just me and Nick, a cute couple. After the PADI we made our way to Chiang Mai in the far North, briefly stopping at Bangkok long enough to get drunk of course-which also included a 5am barefoot game of football with some local Thai guys which messed up my feet more, random but fun. Everyone heads to Chiang Mai to go trekking in the jungles and we were no exception and booked on to a 3 day, 2 night trek. Initial indications were not good, me and Nick were picked up in a van and discovered that it was just us 2 on the trek, most have a minimum of 7 people and a max of 12, the group then has a laugh and bonds and all that jazz on the trek. So to find out we wouldnt meet any randoms for 3 days was a little disconcerting. We perked up a little when we did our first acitivity, elephant riding, a surreal and weird experience if all truth be told but we were allowed to sit on his head (he didn't seem to mind honest) and it lasted 45minutes so it was pretty cool. The rest of day one saw us and our (we would discover later totally nuts) guide Chai on a 4 hour trek through the jungle, which at the time was hell but looking back, bizarely great fun. The monsoon began about 30minutes in, and I mean it was some real fat wet rain! We had waterproofs but it was tough going, hard terrain, slippy underfoot, climbing, scrambling, hacking through vines, wading rivers, lots of back breaking uphill work, and all with really bad feet-I cut them drunkely on Phangan (yes mother I know) and they hadn't recovered so this added to the pain. Exhausted we reached our village for the night, the only people there save for our guide and a local-who I had visions of being tribal and in no clothing, maybe a spear etc, instead he had Nike shorts, a t shirt and a mobile phone in hand. Deep sigh. That night me and Nick merely laughed at the situation, 2 more days we thought!
Days 2 and 3 were better, a less arduous trek in much nicer weather, culminating in a nice waterfall which we swam in for hours, ducked under, went off the slide, did tricks etc. To make it better we arrived at the same time as another group, 2 American guys and 3 French guys, and it turned out they were staying at the same village as us that night. It only meant 5 extra people to eat with, play cards with (shithead is still THE travelling game) and talk rubbish to but it made all the difference. Day 3 us and the Americans-Gary and Christian did a few more hours trekking and then some white water rafting and finally the traditional bamboo rafting downstream.

All in all it was a busy 3 days and great ones at that, the initial hatred of day one subsided into real enjoyment, it was such a tough trek but to have survived it was superb and we got to experience some crazy conditions. The one on one time with our guide was also cool as he spoke good English and we learnt a lot, did some great random stuff he couldn't with a big group like spear chucking, kinfe throwing, climbing vines and trees, wading rivers and such. Whilst the jungle wasn't as iconic as I'd hoped-no snakes slithering down trees, wildlife abound, tribal villages etc-we still saw some stunning sights and scenery and combined with the rafting and the people we met it was really good times. Oh we also made a random discovery, my toe nails were digging in and Nicks fingernails long and we had the conversation that we really needed some nail clippers, shame they were in the city with our backpacks, then 30seconds later we stumbled across a pair lying in the middle of the jungle!!! We tried repeating the trick by asking for lots of money or naked twins etc but to no avail. Once back in Chiang Mai itself we spent another good few days, me, Nick and the 2 Americans really hitting it off and hitting the bars hard, Tex Mex, Warm Up and Spicy will forever remain in our hearts. I hope to meet Gary and Christian again in Laos and repeat the adventures which would be cool and there are promises of meeting in Texas one day, two really great guys and fond of a drink, our kind of people.

Bangkok
Before and after Chiang Mai were visits to Bangkok, which was its usual crazy, manic, hyper self of sights, smells, people, activity and action. Koh San road is the centre and it hasn't changed a bit since the 3 years away, street vendors, bars, people, food stalls, taxi's, all condensed into one street, it lacks charm and it is what it is, you don't ever forget a trip to Bangkok. Me and Nick spent one day having a Thai massage, but at a proper establishment, one with no boom-boom or happy ending for the record. To be honest an hour of being poked, prodded, stretched, manhandled and extended wasn't a huge amount of fun and I don't think it will be repeated again. We did toy with the idea of going to the Womans Prison and getting one there for cheaper by the women due for release (true story, was in the guide book) but sadly we declined.
Along with the now returned Tom and a couple of crazy Danes who's names I can't spell, we also went and watched some Muay Thai boxing again, the hardcore kind this time and we got front row seats for 9 bouts, very brutal, very exciting and of course very drunken. The 5 of us had a manic few days in Bangkok and lived it large and it was a shame we had to all go our seperate ways.

So thats Thailand done, next up Laos for a while and then head to Vietnam. Sadly its the end of the Nick and Mike show as he is heading to Australia with the equally loved Tom-a finer couple of guys you couldn't find, so its back to being solo again which is going to be weird after a few weeks of constant people but I'm sure all will be fine, I hope to meet up with either the Americans from Chiang Mai or the Kiwis from Koh Tao, or the Wilders from the Little house on the Prarie..

Missing and loving you all-over 500 days gone now, sureal!

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Since I left Wales!

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Photos

Cross dressing-again..
Myself and Geoff

The PADI crew
Miro, Justin,Alex, Shai, Jesse and Matt=Nick is MIA

Koh Phi Phi
Lots of stunning images like this around the island

The bottom of one of the waterfalls-a natural slide
Weeeeeee!

Comments

[Sarah-Jane]

xxx
You did get my text about unexploded ordnance and bandits in Laos right? Nice spider, almost as big as the one in my porch! Nice spear throwing technique, all good practise for when you return to teaching. (Thinking of javelin rather than keeping control of the class by throwing things at them) xx (I did say Ingalls - Wilder!)

[Julie Jules]

Nice
as always jealous when i read these but glad your passion for travel has been brought back! Im sure if you needed the cash you could try your hand at a lady boy...?