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Published: October 15th 2006
The Fonz
Ehhhhhh! Thumbs up to being a huge creepy war god statue.Taiwan is the shit!
Bus gets a flat tire on the expressway? No problem...keep on truckin'. Sidewalk too crowded with people and parked scooters? No problem...walk on the road. Feel like crossing an intersection against a red light and 6-lane traffic? No problem...just step out and they'll drive around you. Taiwan is an off-the-map destination with off-the-wall traffic and out-of-this-world food. Everyone will find something enjoyable about the Ilha Formosa (Beautiful Isle).
Taiwan is blessed with some of the best cuisine in the world, thanks in part to the influence of aboriginal peoples, Chinese immigrants, and Japanese occupation. While restaurant decor is usually less than desirable, the food makes up for any aesthetic shortcomings - it's cheap, aromatic, and delicious. The only exception might be stinky tofu, which looks, smells, and probably tastes like it was scooped from a warm, moist bag of ass. Some other goodies we've passed on are pig intestines,
1000 year-old eggs, and chickens feet - which have been likened to eating your ear.
We spent the first couple of days with Cheryl, a friend of Denise's from university who's been living in Hsinchu for over a year now, and who's been gracious enough to let
Copycat
Denise was minding her own business practising tai-chi when this huge stone guy came along and started copying her. us crash at her apartment (big love to her roomies, H-Star Helga and John, and Paula and Carlos too). It's always beneficial to get the low-down from someone who's got their ear to the ground. Cheryl's well informed on the local culture and customs, and is a great tour guide for the first-time visitor.
Seeing as Hsinchu's public transportation network is non-existent, the only real way to get around town is by scooter. Denise rode bitch on the back of Cheryl's bike, while I had John's all to myself. Nothing like illegal turns, running red lights, and weaving through traffic to start your vacation. Mom, we're OK! Hauling a little ass never hurt anyone.
We spent the day touring around Hsinchu, which isn't loaded with attractions by any means, but experiencing a city with your own transportation is rewarding in itself. Most interesting was the 'Red Guy' - officially known as Guangong - and surrounding grounds. You'd think a colourful giant sculpture with a red face would be the big draw, but not so. The area was host to the most eclectic collection of statues I've ever seen (or ever will, for that matter). Some works present were
Hsinchu Park
A gazebo in the middle of the lake. Napoleon, Venus de Milo, Rodin's Thinker, Michelangelo's David, and the Statue of Liberty, just to name a few. The only words I can think of to describe such a sight are comical and cheesy. So bad it was good.
We also had a great time watching cars go round a huge traffic circle at the Eastern Gate in the city center. Who has the right away depends purely on the size of your vehicle, the price of your car, or the size of your balls. We were hoping to witness several gruesome collisions, but much to our dismay didn't have any such luck. However, we did get a kick out of Taiwanese minivans...a scooter with all four family members jam-packed on board. After seeing the driving habits of the local people, you'd fully expect to see someone picked off or dumped off the back of a scooter at any moment. Once again, no dice.
Considering all the hazards present, we made it through the day unscathed and in one piece. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to take a shower because I smell of car exhaust.
Camille & Denise
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Cor
non-member comment
Very Funny....
But what I want to know is how you know about the softness of fat guys' asses?