Lunch with a Monk

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Anne asked two days ago if I had any interest in attending a speaking engagement with a Tibetean monk named Mingyur Rinopoche whom would be talking about Tergar Meditation at Johyesa Temple. Recently, I had been getting into relaxing my mind, doing a bit of yoga and meditation. I figured this would be a great way to learn from a top-notch professional about meditation and seek a few pointers along the way. Plus how many times in your life do you actually get to meet a Tibetan monk? Exactly, zero. Accepting the assignment I knew I should prep a few questions so I looked up Tergar Meditation online at http://tergar.org/about/index.shtml

Once on the website about tergar meditation I learned he had an anxiety disorder through meditation he overcame this disability. The more I read on the website the more excited I became about meeting him in person. A few thoughts began to float around inside my head about what to ask Mingyur once I was around him. First thing I wanted to clear up was his title of “the world’s happiest man.” How did a person retain such a title? What qualified someone to be “the happiest man” let alone the “world’s happiest man?” I wondered about his overcoming an anxiety disability as a child. Thinking if it were possible to teach the millions of children who are diagnosed every year with Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) and Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). Pondering these questions I had to wait until the morning of February 13th.

The speaking engagement was held at the Jogye Administration Building in the Performance Hall at the Jogyesa Temple grounds in Insadong, Seoul. It was set to begin at 10:00am. With notebook and camera in hand I charged out to the bus stop at 8:00am on a cool February morning. After forty-two minutes of standing in the wind, the 2200 Express Bus arrived. Had it not been for this assignment I would have gone home after ten minutes.

Eventually, arriving at the Jogyesa Temple, I made my way to the foreigner information booth to learn which building’s basement I needed to go into. With the information from the kind ajumma, I jogged across the grounds jumping down every third step until I reached the main doors. Taking a breath I stepped inside the building walking over to the open doors I peered into a packed room. There wasn’t a seat left to sit down in and people were gathering at the back and along the sides. Retreating into the back right corner of the hall, I set up camp, pulling out my notepad, pen and camera.

From the moment my attention went to Mingyur, I noticed the slight air of tension about this Tibetan monk. The people here sat with him in the highest of regards, they admired this man and what he was here to talk about. I jotted down a couple of quick notes about the room, the quiet stillness of the morning, the number of attending Jogye monks sitting throughout the room; thirty-seven. “I will teach you meditation. You have two choices?” His smile turning into laughter as the room caught on laughing with him. From this point onward the Tibetan monk was genuinely happy and his laughter never ceased over the next two hours. In meditation the two most important things are “body” and “mind.” Starting with “body” he spoke about posture. Typically there are seven-points involved in posture but he condensed it into two-points main categories for this lecture: breathing and relaxing.
Breathing is the most important thing in meditation. In order to breath properly you must sit straight. Your spine must be kept straight from backbone to head. No leaning forward; nor leaning backward. Just keep in a straight line. When you are sitting straight inhale one long breath through the nose pausing for a second and exhaling out your mouth, this technique should relax your body. After this continue on with deep breathing while you meditate. The second part is to relax all your muscles. “I call this 100%!r(MISSING)elax. Do not relax 200%! (MISSING)If 200%! (BADINDEX)shaking and muscles become tight, you’re too tight. Just 100%!r(MISSING)elax. Just feel natural,” he explained.

With the two points about “body” complete, he spoke about how to relax your “mind” stating it as “very easy” to do. Using an example about hiking Mingyur asked, “have you hiked a mountain?” The audience responded with yes. Continuing with his story, “when, you hike. At first it is a little difficult and a little slow. But you feel happy when you reach the top. When you rest at the top in a grass field or sitting on a stone, you breath in deeply.” This is the point when a person’s mind is completely relaxed. “Rest like that,” he smiles. “Like after a long project is over. You are at completion. You are happy. Rest like that.” Then he asked the audience, “do you have an example?” A woman in the third row said, “After I finish meditation.” She laughed. Mingyur, laughed replying, “me too!”

By this point I was checking my watch wondering how long we’d been engaged with Mingyur. He’d been speaking for just under fifty-minutes. His laughter surprised the audience each time he joked with them. Amazed at how well he spoke English I quickly jotted down a note to ask him later how many languages he spoke as I finished my note he started speaking again. “I will tell you ‘the secret ’ but you must not tell anyone… Promise?” He didn’t wait for a response continuing with “only if you promise but its already in my books,” he laughs. The crowd is bewildered when he states this and says “you all very serious!” Again he laughs at his own joking. Then he imparts to us all: “remember, to relax and listen to the silence, practice relaxing and that is meditation.”

As soon as Mingyur had finished a voice broke the silence. A reporter who had flown from Tokyo to hear him speak wanted to know in a demanding voice what all this meditation meant? He seemed angered at the laid back easiness of Mingyur. It seemed he had come here for an answer to a question and neither the question nor the answered had been spoken. The translator spoke to Mingyur about the man’s question. Then not getting it exactly correct, the man spoke in English to Mingyur. Smiling he simply stated “we are here to speak about meditation. Meditation is a process of getting to know oneself. To know yourself is to know meditation.”

Still smiling at himself Mingyur’s next six-words confused everyone, “None meditation is the best meditation.” He imparted two points; One if the mind were lost this would be the same thing as if you were normally conscious. Two none meditation has awareness. “Do you know the term ‘get lost’?” He asked the Koreans in the room. “No. I will explain. To ‘get lost’ means no awareness. You forget to breath. No awareness. No mind.” Simply put, in order to meditate you must be aware and to be aware means you cannot be lost within your environment.

To demonstrate this awareness he asked “everyone please sit up straight, take one deep breath, pause, exhale and continue deep breathing, until you feel the awareness.” After the five-minute exercise he went on to explain if you are having trouble with meditation you can meditate with an object or with sound. When meditating with an object or sound, the thing is not an enemy. The thing is your friend. An object or sound becomes part of your meditation. “Simply know the sound and listen.”

Imparting his final words he informed everyone during meditation everything becomes your friend. Everything becomes meditation. This is when he explained briefly about his debilitating anxiety disorder as a child. Simply he found meditation relaxing then he made anxiety into his friend. Once he became a friend of the anxiety, it disappeared. When the discussion on meditation was over his assistant Yongsoo, took over the microphone asking everyone to please line up on the left side of the room. That Mingyur would meet each person, impart a piece of wisdom if asked, shake hands, take a photograph, autograph a book or card, or go through the motions of the Tibetan gesture of Kata. Kata is a long silk scarf where one person gives it and another receives it. Then upon departure the silk scarf is then returned. It’s an act of giving and receiving between people.

As the audience lined up, I gathered my things and walked down on stage to speak directly with Yongsoo about where lunch would be and what the itinerary looked like? In a mild manner he stated they would all walk over to the restaurant called Osegyehyang
after the procession was over and I would be sitting down with Mingyur and another reporter to ask him questions. Knowing I am much better on my feet walking, I snapped off photographs of Mingyur with Jogye monks and other audience members. Then I sat back in the front row and watched him interact with the people who had come to hear him speak.

Mingyur greeted everyone with a deep reassuring smile. He spoke softly to everyone, autographing book after book, posing for photographs and performing the Tibetan gesture of Kata. After another hour slowly went by I realized I was famished and couldn’t wait to get to where ever lunch would be? As the final three people went up to meet him, I noticed Yongsoo gathering up some simple clothing, picking up a backpack and picking up two traveler mugs. Finally, it was time for lunch. As he headed out the door I picked up the pace in order to walk alongside him. People began approaching him left right and center asking him a variety of advice on meditation. Eavesdropping on the conversations I tried to pick up the gist of the quick discussion but heard them speaking a language I did not recognize.

When the man’s question was answered and we were upstairs walking through the Jogyesa Temple grounds being direct by Yongsoo towards the restaurant. I introduced myself to Mingyur. Laughing he asked “where are you from?” “I moved here from Canada last year but I am originally from the United States. Have you been there?” “Yes, I have been to the United States and Canada. They are both beautiful countries.” Then I laughed. “So, I heard this thing about you being designated the “world’s happiest man’? How do you become the world’s happiest man?” I asked. Without hesitation he stated, “Marijuana.” It took a second to realize what he said. “Marijuana!” I began laughing. “Are you serious?” I stated. “Doesn’t make everyone happy?” He retorted. Laughing more I said to him, “Mingyur how many languages do you speak?” His response was “One and a half. English and Tibetan.” “I see you only speak half-Tibetan?” “No.” But we both continued to laugh. This is when Yongsoo approached from behind letting Mingyur know that two reporters would be sitting down with him at lunch to ask him questions. He smiled casually as another person walked over to us. Leaving them room I stepped away until they were finished.

Another twenty yards further up we turned and went down the alley way towards Osegyehyang. Before reaching the doors I asked Mingyur, “How many countries have you visited? Which country is your favorite one? Well obviously its Tibet but other than Tibet.” I asked as the questions just kept slipping out. “I have visited many countries, thirty-five in total. Tibet will always be my favorite.” And before he could answer the final question Yongsoo had him taking off his shoes in the foyer to the restaurant. As soon as we were inside I knew immediately where I was. This was an all vegetarian closer to vegan restaurant where monks frequented for food.

As everyone took their seats, I asked Yongsoo, “where would you like us to sit?” “Oh yes, I almost forgot, reporters.” He smiled “You can sit here and here,” pointing to two seats leaving a space between us for the translator to sit. As I sat down an older monk in his early fifties sat down beside me. Exchanging nods we both sat down at the table. Once my bag and jacket were out of the way I noticed all the Jogye monks from the hall had come along, too. This indeed was turning out to be a special luncheon. Then I took a moment just to relax myself into the peaceful environment before the conversations and food arrived on the table.

When the first course had arrived Hannah a reporter from the Korean Herald began asking Mingyur, how he became the “world’s happiest man?” Before he could answer I started laughing as everyone at the table turned to look at me. “See. He knows my answer. Why, don’t you tell her what makes me the world’s happiest man?” Trying not to spit out food and trying to contain myself I sipped some tea, swallowed my food then stated matter of factly, “Mingyur told me ‘marijuana makes him the world’s happiest man!’” Mingyur gleamed at this response as Hannah’s face dropped thinking I was putting her on but everyone else had clearly heard the same response before from him and were all giggling and smiling, too. Hannah fidgeted with her notes for a moment collected her thoughts and went into asking about the scientists who had examined his brain activity in order to prove he was indeed “the world’s happiest man.” “Every year a group of scientist hold a contest…” each word rich in sarcasm he continued smiling and answering as I tried not to laugh out loud disrupting Hannah’s interview yet again, “… and every year the participants and I do these competitions. But I am always the winner,” Hannah swallowed this up altogether but Mingyur smiled as I began to laugh some more which is when Hannah and the translator caught on that he was again not being serious.
After another couple of questions, Hannah was finished and she put away her notepad and recorder. Mingyur picked up his salad bowl and asked me, “Do you have a few questions you would like to ask?” “In fact I do but I don’t have a fancy recording device, so I will be taking notes.”

Taking a deep breath I flipped back through my notes until I reached the two serious questions I had penned into my notebook the previous night. “My first question is, do you think with the amount of children today who are diagnosed with attention deficit disorder (ADD) or attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) could they benefit from being taught Tergar meditation? And how would children be taught about proper meditation?”

Mingyur’s face never stopped smiling but his tone changed immediately when he began to reply to the first serious question I had asked of him. "All children all over the world could benefit from being taught meditation. Meditation helps calm the mind. When using meditation it will help the child confront their disorder. By confronting the disorder they will befriended it. And once they befriend it, it will no longer bother them. They will be free from their problems and worries.” And "children can only be taught properly by their parents. The parents need to learn proper meditation themselves to enable them to teach their children. It can only work if they are both involved. Because neither of them can derail the other."
“Next do you believe meditation could help world leaders dealing with political crisis's? These leaders are constantly under pressure making decisions that affect an entire country. What would the benefits of meditation have on world leaders today?”
Considering the second question, Mingyur took collected his thoughts. When he spoke, it came from deep within his heart. "Meditation could help many of the political leaders of today. They need to collaborate on projects with better communication. There is a need for clear discussions if they were to meditate first. This would help everything from current business problems to the financial crisis. Today, there is a spiritual crisis as well. But the overall problem is with the leaders of today. There need to be strong leaders to guide their countries."
Thanking him for answering the two serious questions we continued to eat lunch with the other guests at the table. Lunch lasted nearly two hours with five different vegetarian courses being served. In the end I walked back to the temple alongside Mingyur watching him impart his compassion, genuine kindness and warmth to everyone who approached him. When we reached the temple crosswalk, I thanked him for his time, and wished him well on his three-year retreat coming up. In the wake of our departure, my being felt uplifted as I wondered off into the warm afternoon sunshine.

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Photos

Khata
A Tibetan Gesture