DIVING DUMAGUETE WITH MAD MAX!

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We bumped into Aylssa when we were checking out and found out that not only were we on the same flight to Cebu, but we were all planning on catching the same ferry to Dumagette. It always handy to meet fellow travellers heading in the same direction, not only do you get to make new friends, but it helps with the cost of taxis.

Check in took ages. This was mostly due to the people in front of us in the queue. Instead of having the normal one piece of check in luggage everyone had separated their stuff into dozens of bags and taped up cardboard boxes. Each item had to be weighed separately and when some people were asked to pay excess baggage they looked totally surprised as if they had no idea that 40kg of luggage would be in any way excessive.

One of the desk staff saw us at the back of the queue with our one piece of luggage looking like we had lost the will to live. He told us to join the front of the queue. It would be our turn next if we could manage to climb over the assault course of boxes in front of the desk.

The flight arrived on time - which was exactly what we needed. Once we arrived in Cebu we only had about an hour to get our bags, get a taxi to the port and buy our tickets for the 15:30 ferry. As usual when you’re in a rush things don’t quite go as planned. First we had to wait for a taxi, then we got a taxi driver with confidence issues. Most taxi drivers are crazy and think nothing of darting in and out of traffic. Our taxi driver preferred to drive at just above walking pace and swerve every time another vehicle came anywhere near him.

We made it to the port with what we thought was enough time to buy a ticket. What we didn’t bank on was the terrible combination of a very long queue and very slow staff. I was left in charge of all the bags while Andy and Aylssa went for the tickets. They were getting close to the front of the queue when I heard the final call for our ferry. I was pretty sure that we wouldn’t make it and would have to spend the night in Cebu. I was just about to get out the guide book and start looking for a hotel when Andy and Aylssa appeared in front of me with the tickets in their hands. “ How did you manage that” I asked as we picked up our bags and starting running for the door. “We were a few from the front when the final call went out, but Aylssa pushed her hand through the crowd and got us served next” Said Andy. Normally us Brits don’t like someone messing with the orderly fashion of a queue, but this time we were very grateful. We made it to the ferry just in time - a moment longer and we would have been jumping onto a moving boat!

We were meeting Simon from Phuket for diving at his friend Max’s place. He told us that he couldn’t take just anyone to Max’s, but he thought that we would be ok. We were not really sure what to expect as we stood waiting for them to pick us up from the port. Aylssa was also looking for somewhere to stay so when Simon and Max turned up we all jumped in the back and let the adventure begin.

After putting our bags in our rooms we all met at the communal outside table for a few beers. Max’s place is more like a home stay than a hotel. Its run by him, his wife and family. If you want something you have to ring a bell in the middle of the table. If no one comes to take your order Max will ring the bell for you with great force and shouts of “oi oi oi” We planned to dive the following day so probably should have gone to bed at a reasonable time, but we were all busy catching up and swapping stories. Max is such a character but some of his stories were a little tricky to understand. He got so enthusiastic and animated that sometimes he would switch from speaking English to German or Filipino or he would start laughing so much that he would struggle to get to the end of the story. It was 1.30 by the time we all decided it was time for bed.

After breakfast we went to a local beach for some diving and snorkelling. Both dives were great. The corals were beautiful and there were so many different types of fish that I lost count. At one point during one of the dives I could hear a strange noise. When I turned around I noticed that both Andy and Simon were both shouting and pointing at me - well they were making as much noise as possible with their regulators in their mouths. I thought that there was something wrong so started to check my equipment. By the time I realised that it was not me they were pointing at but something behind me I had missed a massive Hawksbill Turtle.

After a nap we decided to head out to town for something to eat. Miss Scotland who we met in Vietnam was also in town so we arranged to meet up for a few drinks. After a rather delicious paella at Why Not bar we walked down to Coco Loco for a cocktail. Simon had not been in the bar for six years, but amazingly there were still the same friendly guys behind the bar who all recognised him.

After a few drinks we all thought it seemed a good idea to head to the disco. We paid our entrance fee and walked through the red velour curtains - the red velour should have been enough to make us turn back. We walked into an almost empty room and realised that it was beginning to look like a mistake. We decided to have our free drink and leave. Things do not always go to plan…. I’m not sure how it happened and I’m not sure why, but when we finally left the DJ had switched off the music, the staff were cleaning the bar and it was 3am. We were the last people to wander out onto the street in search of transport home. “How much” Simon asked the tricycle driver “fifty” said the driver “how about fourty said Simon” “ok thirty” said the driver. That’s the first time a taxi driver had bartered us down!

The following day after a long lay in Aylssa, Andy and I hired a van from Max so we could visit the Twin Lakes. We were told that the journey was interesting in itself, but no one would tell us more than that. As we turned off the main road it didn’t take us long to figure it out. The tarmac suddenly finished and we were driving on mud and rocks. Our speed was reduced to walking pace as we bounced about inside. In miles it really wasn’t that far, but by the time we reached our destination it had taken us two hours.


We walked down to one of the lakes where we were hoping to jump in and cool down, but the water was a lot cooler than expected so we dangled our feet in instead.

It all the rage in many Asian countries to pay to have a fish foot spa. You put your feet in a big fish tank and loads of tiny fish are supposed to get rid of any dead skin. At the lakes we got it for free. As we dangled our feet in the little (and some not so little) fish rushed towards them. It was a rather odd experience and since we both have ticklish feet it was sometimes difficult to sit still.

By the time we made it back to the main road it was getting dark. The traffic in town was pretty crazy and to make things worse our road home was closed. We ended up getting lost in a one way system. For a while we seemed to be driving round in circles and passing the same things over and over again, but thanks to Andy we finally made it home. I knew better than to wind him up about getting lost - these kind of comments can only lead to no good. More than likely he would take great pleasure in reminding me of the time I got lost in our hometown while trying to get to the supermarket!

Our last few days at Max’s were great. We got to dive at Apo island where we saw some amazing turtles and sea snakes and we also got to celebrate Max’s birthday with him. When we woke up on the morning of his birthday the kitchen was going full steam ahead. We thought it best if we got out of the way so we disappeared off to the mall for a couple of hours.

We are normally pretty good at shopping - we have had quite a lot of practice over the years. This is why we were surprised to find that all the shop assistants in every shop seemed to think that we were incapable of shopping for ourselves. As soon as we so much as looked at an item three or four assistants would come rushing towards us “T shirt sir, would you like to try Madam” It was as all just too much. We prefer to browse at our own speed, not to have people looking over our shoulders talking us through each item. We are grown ups now and are fully aware what a t shirt or a watch looks like and don’t need it pointing out to us. Sadly we would later discover that this was the way it worked all over the Philippines making shopping for anything impossible.

After and hour or so of being chased around shops by over helpful staff we could take no more and returned to Max’s empty handed. We arrived back just in time as the food was ready and the party was getting started. There was more food that I had seen in a long time. Among many other things there was Lechon (whole spit roast pig) meatballs, spring rolls and prawns so big they looked like they could have your finger off. We ate so much that we had to have a little lay down before rejoining the party for drinks. People came and went all day. The beer and the Schnapps was flowing - it was 1:30 before we all said goodnight and goodbye to Aylssa as she was leaving early in the morning.

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