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Published: August 6th 2011
Sunrise
Sunrise at the Lazy Bird Guesthouse.Dear Blog Readers,
Welcome to our Philippine Diaries! This is Part 1 so keep checking back for future blogs!
The owner of the Lazy-Bird Guesthouse lived up to her business' namesake by forgetting about our airport ride because she was asleep. Granted, it was 5:15am in the morning but we had paid extra for the transfer so it wasn't the best start to the holiday! Maybe the snoring Canadian which kept us (and a large portion of wildlife in the surrounding area) up most of the night didn't help our mood!
Our initial annoyance was subdued by the awesome sunrise that crept over the hills surrounding Incheon Airport. We were a little late for check-in but that didn't seem to matter for the queue at Cebu Pacific's desk. When I say queue, I want you to imagine a herd of multi-national sheep being prodded into a pen. We'd heard absolute horror stories about Cebu Pacific so the chaos wasn't entirely unexpected. Our flights were pretty cheap, but maybe these were some of the reasons...
"Cebu Pacific is the worst airline in history." "When I complained, they said it was my fault." "One of the worst major airlines Angry Lady
Laura fuming about lazy birds. in the world."
"It's already a year and i still dont receive my refund from cebu pacific." "To top it all, when we got back, our luggage was missing!" I'm glad I didn't check their Wikipedia page until I got back home. It notes three major incidents in the last five years and in 1998, a crash killing all 104 people on board. They have also failed the European Aviation Commission criteria and are therefore black-listed in EU airspace.
We'd made it through check-in and security - so far, so good. It was now around 7am so we thought we'd quickly get some breakfast before our flight. Thankfully we were in the Best Airport In The World for the sixth year running so the number of cafes and restaurants was plentiful. However, this isn't much use if none of them are bloody open is it!? We should have learnt our lesson from the KFC Final Supper fiasco with Laura's Mum back in
May.
What transpired was a moment in history for me - my worst breakfast in the history of my life. I've took a photo because words won't do it justice. Firstly, it was a hot
Worst Breakfast Ever
From the Award Winning Incheon Airport. dog. That's bad enough. The faecal matter that they smeared all over it was just as bad. If tinnitus could be a taste then the ringing sensation of impending vomit that came after every mouthful would suffice. You may be asking why I kept eating. Well, I was hungry and my only other options were fried chicken (Laura managed to stomach that...just) or kimchi.
We boarded the flight and first noticed the amount of legroom. We weren't expecting much, but I wasn't expecting to be able to rest my chin on my knees. Basically, my legs were my crumple zone in the (likely) event of an accident. Normally boarding the plane closes at 15 minutes before departure. Especially for budget airlines, if you're a second late, then normally they wouldn't let you on. We were therefore surprised to see Koreans idly walking onto the plane 10 minutes AFTER it was supposed to have departed. They even had the gall to look around at the rest of us staring daggers into them with the blank expression on their faces of confusion! As we came into land, the usual announcement came over the system, "Please remain seated until the plane has
Diet Drink
I think the normal diet and exercise will have more of an effect than the drink. stopped and the seat belt sign has been switched off." Literally the second the wheels hit the tarmac, about twenty Koreans jumped out of their seat and start getting their bags! The plane hadn't even started braking!
We stopped at Manilla airport and waited for our transfer to Cebu. According to our guidebook, the airport is probably one of the better places in Manilla unless you fancy getting mugged. Laura bought a drink and was sold by it's intriguing hook-line:
"Based on a clinical study, you can loose body fat in 6 weeks with 3 servings a day of Del Monte's Fit Right Drink along with a proper diet and exercise." It felt like we'd been travelling on the DeLorean from Back To The Future because all the sweets in the shops were from the 1990s. I couldn't decide whether to get some Juicy Fruity, PushPops or old style Cornetto's!
The flight to Cebu was uneventful. I'd love to tell you about the beautiful views from the air of the islands of the Philippines, but once again, we got the wing seat. We get the wing seat every single time!!!
We stayed at a hotel
Pack of Lies
15 minutes BEFORE not 15 minutes AFTER. near the airport called The Cesario. We chose it because the much fancier and twice as expensive Bellavista hotel is next door but anybody who is staying at Cesario can use their facilities! Consequently, we rinsed them for all their worth. Our room was small and stuffy so we trotted up to the rooftop swimming pool for a dip overlooking the river cutting through the city.
We then went out into the streets and explored. The last time we went out into a city for an explore was in Lima where we got mugged. A post-traumatic-stress feeling overcame me as I was constantly on guard and second guessing everybody. It was completely unreasonable as the city was like any other city we'd travelled to. We found a really nice little local BBQ going on and for £2 we got freshly BBQ'd chicken, pork, intestine and kidney. It was delicious!
Luckily we made it back before the torrential monsoon rain began pelting down on the corrugated iron roof nearby!
Stay tuned for Part 2...
Tink and Laura
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