No more Mr nice guy....pigs and rhinos (and not all at the safari)

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I was half asleep when I heard a rustling and a clicking of all the light switches then BOOM! On came the light. The conversation followed:

Pearl, what are you doing?!

My camera wasn't charging so I'm plugging it back in here.

Turn the light off! For gods sake, you are so selfish!

Just put your blinders (eyemask) on!



She'd bloody done it this time. I looked at my phone-0457. I laid there and tried to get back to sleep, but it didn't come. I looked at the clock again 0542. We were meeting for breakfast at 0715, so thought I may as well get up. I got out of bed and found the light switch by me-boom, on came the light. I found the light switch by Molly Brown, Boom on came that one too. I went to the bathroom and opened the door really slowly for a maximum creek. I flushed the toilet and then set the shower going. I put on my flip flops and walked about the room getting ready, and creeked the bathroom door a couple more times for good measure. At 0600 the lights went off. I remembered there was no electricity between 6am and 8pm. Damn-that was short lived. Still it was getting light outside so I opened the curtains. I could hear the villages up and about so I opened the door to see what was happening. There were two people right by the bungalow sitting around the fire chatting, and spitting, so I left the door open to not only bring in the light, but to make the phlegm sound of their spitting more audible. Good morning! I greeted out 2 spitty neighbours. Good morning they shouted back. Molly brown pulled the covers over her head. I unpacked and re packed and I rustled every single bloody carrier bag I could find, all this with my head torch on that shone in Molly Browns direction just to make sure I hadn't woken her up.....

Deliberate? Yes. Childish? Yes. Spiteful. You bet. Felt good? Absolutely. I know that 2 wrongs don't make a right and an eye for an eye makes everyone blind, don't lower yourself to those standards yada yada, but there was taking the p, and taking the p. By now she was taking the p, and I could take no more.

Luckily as the bungalow was right next to the main house, it still manages to pick up wifi and I got some messages through from Daryl which made the stupid o clock wake up a bit more bearable. I sat on my bed and tried to catch up with a bit of the blog. Old Molly surfaced and went to the bathroom without so much of a good morning. When she came back out, the conversation went something like this:

Emma I have to say something to you. (I closed my iPad and braced myself) I have been nothing but accommodating to you the whole time we've been sharing a room, I even moved out on the second night for you, I really am trying, but emma you are so selfish.....(I cut her off here) are you kidding me? Accommodating? You call turning the light on before 5am accommodating? Snapping at me to use my eyemask in stead-is that accommodating? Having a beaming blue light by my head accommodating? Yes this morning I was selfish pearl, because I was awake-again, and I have been for a week and a half now so welcome to my world! I appreciated you moving out, I really was greatful, but I've also paid to have a single room the night after as well!



And another thing! She shouted -don't touch my stuff! I haven't touched your stuff! I replied. Yes you did, you moved my camera and it stopped charging. I moved your camera from the bedside table so the light wasn't glaring out all night, I plugged it in at the end of the bed last night and told you when you came in, you saw it was charging then and said that was fine, I don't know why it stopped charging! Well I will plug it where I like she said. And if it's by my head keeping me awake I will unplug it I replied. Don't you dare touch my stuff! She shouted. If it's by my head keeping me awake, then yes I will!



I've shared a room with 7 people before you and never had a problem she snapped, you're selfish Emma! You shout at me for snoring, you've even shouted at me for having a cold! Don't be ridiculous! I said. I've only ever shouted your name when you've been asleep snoring. I know you've had a cold, as have all of us, you even had both afternoons in bed in Varanasi because you had a cold and I left you to it, when I wanted to sleep because you'd kept me awake. I've cleaned the bathroom after you, said nothing when you used my facecloth or left every single light on and the door open for mosquitoes to get in, used all the sockets to charge your million batteries-and I'm the selfish one?! And for the record, I've shared military accommodation for years and never met anyone as ignorant as you!



Her turn- I have been awake so congested and you shouted at me for it! Well you must snort like a pig when you're awake as well! I snapped. She started with something else, but by now my red mist had well and truly settled like the morning haze outside. Stop talking to me pearl! just stop talking! In fact, don't talk to me for the rest of the holiday, I'm not listening to you anymore! And on she went- SHUT UP! I said firmly and for once she did. She huffed about getting ready, and with the tension in the room more obvious than an Olympic powerlifter, I went to the main house to sit and wait for breakfast. I was fuming! So much for the peace and enlightenment-who was I trying to kid!



'snort like a pig when you're awake as well' ouch. The words echoed around my head and I knew I'd overstepped the mark. Had I really just compared her to a pig? To her face? Did that thing I really thought in my head form a noise in my voice box and make its way past my lips? Oh dear Em, I thought to myself. Not your smartest move. I hate it when someone gets my goat as much as that, which isn't often, but I hate myself more sometimes for reacting the way I do. A lot of the time I think I can keep a lid on things, but then I just snap, and let myself down with comments such as the pig one just now. Few people other than my mother get under my skin like that, and she's had years of practice. The only difference is that she will always be my mum and we always love each other even if we don't like each other sometimes. I reasoned to myself that I was only human, and for me had done well to make it this far.



Lloyd came and sat at the table. Good sleep? He asked. I just looked at him with a sorrowed smile. Pearl? He asked. I nodded. We've just had a bit of a ding dong I told him, and explained what had just happened. Why don't you stay with Chris? He asked. Is it because he's male? Partly, I said, I don't think I'd feel comfortable doing that. Oh bless you darling Emma! He said in his thick Afrikaans accent. I didn't tell him the pig bit though. I felt a bit ashamed.

Breakfast came and went. I ordered porridge and a lemon pancake. Molly Brown sat at the end of the table and didn't speak a word. At 8 o clock, we went outside to 2 waiting jeeps ready for our drive around the national park. I hoped we weren't in the same Jeep, and Chanelle grabbed me and ushered me into the one at the front. 'God don't let Pearl get on this one!' She said. She's driving everyone mad with her constant questions and constant talking! I was thinking do people just get to an age where they become really effing annoying? But then, my dads the same age and he's not as annoying. Her voice is just so annoying!! Sue agreed ' thank god she not in our jeep!' I just laughed and felt a bit better that it wasn't just me.



We headed for the national park which is a UNESCO world heritage site. It is known as the Terai Terai which translates as 'moist land' because it gets inundated by the rivers of the Himalayas in monsoon season. It is the oldest national park in Nepal and previously was used by the Royal Family only as a hunting reserve for big game. It is home to the endangered Indian rhinoceros, elephants, Bengal tigers, leopards, bears, and lots of monkeys.

Within 5 minutes of entering the park we saw a huge rhino in the field to the right of us. Raghu said that wasn't big-that was a baby one! Jeez, I honestly thought that was a full grown adult. We did get told it is incredibly hard to spot the Tigers, as they tend to sleep in the day, and roam their patch at night. The best way to spot a tiger is to wait for the call of the monkeys. Apparently the monkeys let out a screech when they see a tiger, to let their mates, the deer on the jungle floor, know that there is one on the prowl. Monkeys and deer have a close bond, as monkeys drop food from the tree to the deer and keep an eye out for them-great hey? I was thinking Daryl pretty much does the same for me, so does that make him my monkey? Being from South Africa, this safari was like a bit of a busmans holiday for Harry and Lloyd. They were telling us about the different types of reaction from different nationalities on Safari, with the British 'oh golly gosh, there's a lion' to the Americans 'oh my god man look at that humongous lion' the Germans 'it ist vor o clock, it ist time vee see de Lions' (on demand) to the South Africans 'yawn-another lion, so what!' I couldn't stop laughing when they said the only thing that would impress them more is if we managed to see a tiger here in Chitwan, who was sunbathing and taking a selfie at the same time, otherwise nothing could beat the big 5 in South Africa -fair point!



The rhino must have heard us as he turned and darted and was gone, Raghu said we all had to observe the rules of the jungle and keep quiet, no talking. We went on to see a larger rhino on the marshy swamp, and although too far away for a photo (I'm sure Chanelle and her new lens will have snapped it) it was a hell of a size and again moved quite quick. We saw some deer and lots of different lovely coloured birds, and an Indian elephant that was used by the Army in Monsoon season to cross the river. (Not something with a nato stock number that could be ordered for our army to compliment the warrior tanks and snatch land rovers hey?) shame, I'd love to turn up to work on an elephant one day, Wales rains all the times that's it may as well be a monsoon and I'd have the excuse that the river taff was too high so I had to use the elephant-I wondered how my mind works sometimes....

Needless to say we didn't see old Tony tiger-maybe he'd been kept awake by Molly brown so was catching up on his snoozing in the day.

Back at the village we sat down for lunch in the main house. I'd ordered vegetable noodles, but they weren't as nice as the day before. I asked Lesley and Keiran if they'd enjoyed the safari, to which Lesley said it had been lovely. Even more so because they weren't really allowed to talk which meant she didn't have to listen to Pearl. Another sigh of relief-it really wasn't just me. She is so annoying they told me. I don't know how you put up with her.... The silence was soon broken by Molly asking if she could charge her batteries in the main house as 'I didn't get to do it last night' she bellowed access the room, which I'm sure was for my benefit. I left her to go to the room first to pack her things, I'd done mine this morning so only needed to get my bags. When I went Molly had left the door unlocked and wide open. This was just getting stupid now.



Back in the main house Lloyd called me over to where he was sitting. 'Share with Steffi' he whispered to me and nodded over to Steph who was nodding back at me. Are you sure? I asked her. Oh yes, of course she said. I only got a single room cause it was my first time travelling and didn't know what to expect. If I'd of known everyone would have been this great I would have just shared, so yes it's no problem. I couldn't thank her enough. I'd maybe made the mistake in that I had been on a previous tour and even though I'd shared with Delia, we'd had a good group and all the solo female travellers that had shared had gotten on really well. Maybe I'd just been naive to imagine the same would happen again. Then Chris chipped in-I'm leaving on Sunday to join my Himalaya trek so you can have my room on the last night as I won't need it. Amazing. I couldn't wait to enjoy the rest of Nepal in peace. Can I be blunt with you said Lloyd? yes of course, I said to him, I appreciate people speaking their minds. You knew in your heart it wasn't going to work, so why didn't you listen to your heart? Let that be a lesson to you, always listen to your heart, it's feminine- it never lies. Unlike a mans. I told lloyd I appreciated his 'bluntness' for he was right, and I was just a stubborn sod that needed telling sometimes. Your never going to change a person like that, he said. Some people will just never change. Now you have to move on.



We got on the bus to make the 5 hour journey to Pokhara, stopping briefing along the way for a bit of scenery. I'd wanted to speak to Molly but there was always someone around so thought I'd wait. Keiran had taken to her headphones being on full blast to drown out sue-seems we all had a Molly in our lives. ' I wish she'd just shut up!' Said Keiran. All she talks about is 'Bladdy Toy learned-just shut up!' I was glad to have sue anyday even if she did mention Thailand 3 times before 0830. Chanelle commented that Kieran's music was loud coming from her headphones. 'Yes, I'm trying to drown out the noise!' She said. I was feeling more and more reassured as the day went on. Thank god it wasn't just me.



It was a long tiring drive, but the scenery made it worth while. I had planned to catch up on the blog but the lack of power at the home stay hadn't charged my iPad, so I just looked out of the window at the Eagles flying beside us and thought how much I wished Daryl was here. It hadn't been the best start to the day, and I was probably just feeling a bit rubbish about that, but today was really the first day I felt a bit lonely. I hadn't minded until now and as I've said, I value time to myself, but sat on the bus, I kind of thought how nice it would be to say to someone 'wow look at that!' When you couldn't tell where the Himalayas ended and the sky began. Even Delia who had wanted to come but couldn't get the time off work, I thought how she'd love this and what random conversations we'd probably be having right now.



Nepal was beautiful, and what I found strange was that all along that winding mountain roads were houses and shops and lots of school children walking in their best uniforms. Where they came from or where they were going who knows but they seemed to appear every so often on the 5 hour trip.

Compared to India, Pokhora was a dream. It had cafes, bars, yes a bit touristy, but a world away from the filth of Varanasi and the like.

We arrived at the hotel, and I was so grateful to steph, I couldn't stop thanking her. We had a quick turnaround and then was back out for dinner. On the way, I caught a moment with Molly when there was some distance between the others.

Pearl I wanted to apologise for snapping at you this morning I said. I was just frustrated, and I shouldn't have snapped like I did, so I wanted to say sorry. Obviously I've arranged to share with steph now so we can both hopefully just enjoy the rest of the holiday. She shook my hand and said 'apology accepted' and carried on walking. I didn't expect an apology in return, I knew she wasn't that kind of person, but I'd done my bit to make amends. Later when chatting with Harry, (and not even about Molly Brown) he said, between you and I, Nico (lloyd) and me have given pearl a nickname. He said something in Afrikaans and giggled. What does that mean? I asked him. Well roughly translated it doesn't sound as good, but in English it means Testicle head. Aren't we so awful? I said oh we can't call her that! And have you? I asked. Yes, it's stuck the whole time, he replied-there's always one on every trip! I laughed.



We went for dinner at an Italian place but it also did quite a lot of western foods so I ordered a pepper steak yay! In a way it was a shame that I never had Delhi belly as it meant I hadn't had a break from eating curry the whole time. Snacks were mainly biscuits and crisps as the street food which was also equally unhealthy wasn't safe to eat. If you are what you eat I expected to look in the mirror and see a garlic naan staring back. If you'd of stuck a fork in me I think I'd of popped like an Asda smart price sausage with nothing but cooking oil coming out. I really was feeling bloated, and told myself if I don't get back into phys when I'm home, then I deserve to feel as uncomfortable and bloated and dispair trying on new clothes.



For 16 years I've used my work skirt as a measure of holiday weight. It always feels a bit more snug after leave but despite this have remained in the same size since the day I joined up. These last few months I had gotten lazy and this time away was the icing on the cake (that I would probably have eaten as well) in 12 weeks I would no longer wear my RAF work skirt. I could wear stretchy pants, leggings, and baggy vests as often as I wanted, and buying a size bigger from Dorothy Perkins is far easier than getting a size bigger from clothing stores and getting it tailored. I had no fitness test to pass anymore, no best dress to wear once or twice a year, hell I could buy a chocolate factory with my redundancy money and spend the rest of my life swimming like Augustus Gloop. I realised I don't want to slide into that mindset any more than I have done. It does help a bit that half of Daryls family are PTIs, and whilst they would let you get fat, they'd never let you forget it either, and sometimes you need an S-J in your life to mock those bingo wings into doing something about them. I didn't want to let myself be the fat bird. I wanted to be like I used to be, and then slowly, another bit of my brain clicked, and I felt like another part of me would be there to meet me when I got back home. The morning might of started out a bit shit, but by the time I got into bed, it wasn't only the weight of the earplugs and eye mask that was shifted. Yes I had a lot of weight to shift off my ass in time, but for now I was happy with the little bit of weight that was lifted off my mind. I had a fantastic sleep.

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