lakeside introspection

---

i was ready to raise the white flag again this morning. then i got myself together, took another antibiotic, and bought a new book--Eat, Love, Pray--that was recommended to me by 2 friends who thought i would love it. i cannot put it down, except to look at the mountains.

we arrived in pokhara late yesterday afternoon after a jarring ride on the luxury "tourist" bus. it wasn't all that bad, really, considering what you could get in Nepal. but 6 hours on a bus that feels almost as bad as the taxi rides in kathmandu with seats that are just a little more comfortable is not my first choice of how to spend an afternoon. but mary wanted to avoid the little 12-seater planes that fly here, and i wanted to avoid the $150 plane ticket. so we agreed on a $30 bus ride.

pokhara is such a refreshing break from kathmandu. it strangely reminds me of cape cod or the jersey shore. of course the cultural differences are so different that they are nothing alike, but i suppose it's the laid back attitude that makes it seem familiar--a lake town where everyone is just here enjoying life and a view of the lake with the snow-capped himalayas in the background.

and did i mention it's about 10 degrees warmer? and i am not breathing exhaust fumes?

there are little shops lining the streets, and restaurants with your traditional dhal bhat, but also all sorts of other interesting foods. last night we sat next to a fire and ate by candlelight (load-shedding, again) in a restaurant called Maya. I had delicious chicken soup and homemade pasta. we listened to bob marley, REM, and other classics on the stereosystem (which must have been run by generator). i felt relaxed and happy.

but my evening soon went bad, as i spent most of the night in the bathroom. again. alternating between diahrrea and tears, trying not to wake mary and ranju each time i opened and closed the tin door of the bathroom in our hotel room (which, i will add, is one of the nicest ones i've stayed in in Nepal). i got practically no sleep, and this morning I was resigning to the fact that I'm just not cut out for this--definitely physically, perhaps emotionally as well.

and then mary got sick late this morning, so i felt a little better. i feel bad for her, of course, but also somewhat relieved that this isn't just my weak system again, but perhaps the rice and noodles we had for lunch when we stopped at a resort halfway through the bus trip.

so she's back in the room sleeping it off and waiting for cipro to kick in. ranju and kiran went to find dhal bhat in a cheap restaurant, since their systems can handle it. i have been roaming the main strip of pokhara, admiring the lake, the mountains, the cows passing me on the sidewalks, the grapes and apples fruit vendors are selling that i cannot eat, avoiding offers to buy crafts from tibetan women and marijuana from nepali men. i've managed to get down an egg, some bread, rice, lots of tea, and a chocolate chip cookie. and i'm plowing through my new book, whose author's life seems more emotionally distraught than my own right now, so it makes me laugh.

and i'm trying to bring myself back into focus--focus on what i love about nepal, what i love about traveling (despite the terror it puts my digestive system through), and what i love about my work. and i'm trying to bring myself to a place to just accept whatever happens over the next few months--be it more time in Nepal or actually holding out the white flag and saying i've had enough. either way, i've had an unforgettable experience, one that few people will ever have, and something that will probably change me in more ways than i am aware right now. so regardless, this was worth it. funny how this all culminates exactly on 3 months of my departure--halfway through my projected time here. but while sitting in the internet cafe sipping mint tea, i was finally able to gaze out the window at the tallest peaks in the world and say to myself, diahrrea and all, look where you are. a small corner of the world that is one of the most beautiful, one that 99% of people will never see. you are so lucky.

---

Comments

[Dylan]

Don't worry
You are very lucky...don't forget that. :)

[Rup Narayan Dhakal]

nice blog
Thank you for this blog. I like your writing style. Pls keep on writing.