stir crazy

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I need to find something to do tomorrow because I’m going out of my mind being at home so many days. The elections are over, so it’s safe to go out again. Hopefully the bombs will stop. There was another one the day before the election. No one seems to have been hurt by any of them, but still dangerous nonetheless. And another candidate was assassinated yesterday. Now we just wait for the results. That’s when the real violence could start. Maybe it will be like Zimbabwe’s election and it will take forever for the results to come in—and I’ll be out of the country by then?

Tuesday night Bindiya came over for dinner and spent the night. Sita made momos so spicy my eyes were watering—usually she makes things very mild for me since my stomach can’t handle it, so I’m not sure what happened. Even Bindiya thought they were too spicy. My stomach has been off ever since. I think I’ll stick to rice and soup for a couple days, unfortunately.

Bindiya and I watched the fashion channel and the travel and leisure channel most of the evening. I think she gets a lot of her education from TV, some of it good, because she seems to know quite a bit about other countries and cultures. But she said to me, “Black people are bad, no? Every time I see black men on television or in movies they doing bad things.”

Thank you again, globalization, for spreading subtle racism.

She gave me an oil scalp massage and a facial, and I was totally relaxed. Then she unloaded about a man who played her recently. I don’t think she’s able to talk to other people about her relationship with this guy because it would result in a lot of gossip, but since it’s no biggie to me, she confides in me about a lot of it.

The next morning we sat around drinking green tea, watching the news, and talking until she got a call from her business partner that there were clients at the beauty salon. It was a lot of fun having her here. She’s one of the few Nepalis I can feel totally relaxed and like myself around without feeling like I have to watch my behavior so that it’s culturally appropriate, or that she’s going to ask me for things or expect things from me because I’m a foreigner. It’s a nice break.

I’ve pretty much been at home since then, aside from lunch with Deepti and another lunch with Mari today. I wrote a little, organized some data, and watched lots of 6 Feet Under and The L Word. I’m trying not to just count down the days until I go home, but rather enjoy the rest of my time here because this experience—with parts both amazing and parts close to unbearable—will soon be over and never happen to me again. So I’m trying to live in the moment. Hard to do though, when there’s not much to do. I suppose after another week I’ll get busier again, as the countdown will really begin and I’ll want to see people before I leave. I’m going to miss a lot of things about Nepal—my friends, the little kids that yell hello at me every day when I walk to the taxi stand, the people who recognize me at the restaurants and shops I frequent, the women who have become part of my research.

But I am ready to go home. After living out of a suitcase (okay, a few of them) for the past 6 months, traveling literally around the world, and being away from things that are familiar and comfortable, I’m ready to be home and settled for a while. I’ve realized the thing that makes living here so difficult is being uncomfortable—whether it’s my hard bed, the pollution, the smells of piss and trash, the hassle of boiling water, the language barrier, or the lack of electricity—living in the developing world means living without comforts. I watch TV shows now and notice things like the bedding the characters sleep on or the fresh salad they are consuming, the cleanness of everything and the way running errands or making a phone call is so easy. I miss those comforts! But I guess I am lucky in that I won’t take those things for granted anymore, at least for a little while.

Mari asked me recently what is the first thing that I will do when I get home. I think it will be to lie in my soft bed with Ken and the cats, drinking a glass of cold, unboiled water…with ice! And I want cupcakes. With lots of icing. Why in the world am I craving cupcakes??

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Comments

[Dylan]

Cupcakes?
Are you kidding me? You crave cupcakes? what a strange girl...