fighting off boredom

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My intervention program kept me busy this week. I continue to turn down women who want to participate on a daily basis—I just can’t afford to run so many participants! I now have a waiting list for the next time I come back and run it large scale—assuming I get funding and there is a next time.

I had a bit of an issue when I ran the program at the anti-trafficking NGO the past couple days. I said I would do it there since it was more convenient for the staff, and rather than paying the participants for transportation costs I will donate the money to sponsor a couple of the girls in the transit home. They were very excited and sent me a list of 12 women.

But when we got there, there was a group of about 18 women. Several of them were under 18 (even though I specified 18+ as a criteria), and none of them spoke fluent English. So Deepti has pretty much been running those sessions in Nepali. We turned away the ones under 18, so we’re doing it with 14 instead of the 12 maximum I specified. Also, a couple of the women are illiterate, so we had to read them their consents and surveys. And then the president of the NGO asked what I would be giving them for lunch, since the women came from so far.

So I was a bit annoyed and frustrated the first day. These women are probably the ones that need this sort of intervention the most, but to spring so many surprises on me at once does not make me happy. Not only was I unprepared for so many obstacles, but it also messes up the design of my study when not all sessions being run are identical. So I’m not sure I’ll be using the data from this group. But it’s also good training for Deepti. She’s watched me run a number of sessions so far, so this was a good opportunity to do it while I supervised, because if we do this again, we’re going to train Nepali women to run the program themselves so that it can be sustained when we’re gone.

Regardless of the mishaps, the women seem to be getting a lot out of the program. They are asking good questions, and yesterday when we showed them the female condom, only a couple had even heard of it. One woman told Deepti she was so glad to learn about it because her husband refuses to wear a condom—now she can just wear one.

My favorite part was when the women were practicing putting condoms on bananas, a couple of the older women poured milk tea into the used condom before tying a knot in it so that it looked like spunk. They had the whole place laughing (except for the virgins, who didn’t know what was so funny).

And one woman, who is a counselor for trafficked girls, brought her own wooden penis model. It looked the same as mine but a darker color—much more appropriate for Nepal than my white flesh-colored one.

Today I had a massage again. I’ve requested the guy that manages the place do it now, because he doesn’t have tiny fingers or press too hard like some of the women do. And he does other little things that make the massage more enjoyable, like end it by placing his fingers over my eyes and in the middle of my chest, holding them there for a few minutes while I focus only on my breathing. He also does a great job on my back and neck, which is where I carry all of my stress.

I then met Mari for lunch in Thamel at New Orleans Cafe. I ordered the jambalaya. My first dish had a big nail in it (yikes!). Luckily I found it before I took a bite. They brought me a whole new plate, apologized profusely, and took it off my bill. Certainly didn’t taste like the jambalaya I’m used to in Cajun restaurants in the U.S. But I’m sure the leper I gave the leftovers to will enjoy it.

We walked around Thamel for a while, being bored together. I bought a really nice shirt made of hemp for about $8—my first piece of hemp clothing! People call me “crunchy,” “granola,” “hippy” all the time, but I’ve never really dressed the part. We also each bought a book, since we both spend a lot of time reading and watching movies. We’re now trading DVDs and book recommendations.

I’m worried how I will spend my time after my intervention sessions end next week. I will have a full month left after that before I leave, with nothing on my schedule. I will enter the data from my study, maybe finish up another paper, and update my syllabus for the class I’m teaching this summer. But I have a feeling I’m going to be mostly bored. I have to come up with a plan to stay busy.

Unfortunately, planning for the future helps me to occupy my time. Unfortunate because I know I should be living in the present and enjoying my last 6 weeks here—and I am. But planning my trip to Bangkok, the week in North Carolina that Ken and I will spend scuba diving and apartment-hunting, and looking for houses to buy in the Raleigh-Durham area gives me something to do. If it weren’t for making future plans, I’d really be twiddling my thumbs!

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