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Published: September 16th 2014
6 - So I board to Chitwan express, a bus apparently famed for it's AC, only to fine out the "AC" is a fan. Never mind, not too bad. The journey to Chitwan was fantastic, amazing views, and death defying road. Literally overtaking buses and having about an inch of road before falling to certain death into the fucking river a couple of hundred feet below! I don't know why everyone makes such a big deal about it though, it wasn't scary, maybe people are just pussy's or over exaggerate...
To be fair, there was a lorry on it's side, but at ground level.
So I arrive in Chitwan and I don't really know what to expect, or what I was expecting! But basically, this wasn't it, and it was fucking shite. Quiet little town with fuck all apart from hotels, supermarkets and fucking Mosquitos.
I initially intended to stay in Chitwan for 2 days, but after arriving and discovering it was more like shitwan, I decided to half the stay and not do a canoe ride through the jungle and just stick to the elephant ride. I really didn't need to spend 2 hours on an elephant seeing no wildlife to then row down a river seeing nothing either. There was a moment when I actually considered fucking off the day after.
7 - Had a spot on lie in, wake up to discover not only is it a normal shower, (showers in Nepal and India for those who don't know are just a bucket of water you poor over your fucking head) but the water's fucking warm! Get in!
Time to go to the elephant ride. The journey entailed my first experience of riding a motor bike (as passenger), this turned out to actually be the highlight of the elephant ride, it sounds so much cooler than it actually was, granted it's out of season and the grass is high as fuck, but I only saw fucking deer and a lizard!
The actual riding of the elephant was class, they don't give shit! "Oh a tree in the way" I'll just tear it down with my massive fucking trunk! Yes lad. All they seem to do is walk, eat and shit!
So you sit with 3 other people in a little box thing on it's back, got put with 3 French girls, whom I'd already tried talking to on the bus to Chitwan and they weren't having any of it, great. It wasn't so bad, I just sat there baked listening to them speak French for 2 hours. There was a point where we had to stop and the seat be adjusted because there was one fat French bird and I can only assume she made it fucking slant.
So as we're making our way through the wonderous jungle, we see an almighty sight.....a fucking building! Is there any part of this fucking planet we haven't built on! For fuck sake.
I go out for a food in the evening, again I'm still struggling to find Nepali or Indian food...it's a fucking joke! A) I want to try some of your own countries food, I want that experience B) you can't fucking cook western food!
Anyway, I get chicken biriyani, and it's literally the shittest thing I've ever eaten, and I've had horse meat. Turns out they can't cook their own food either.
Fuck this, I'm out, time to move onto Pokhara.
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