Day 43: The hike of 35 miles begins with a single stair and then 20,000 more plus some humble pie

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Going into the hike I knew: we’d climb approximately 2400 m in elevation, peak out around 3200 m, it’d take 4-5 days and have the option of a porter. What I didn’t know: most of the trail is used by communities in the mountains and they didn’t have roads. The only way to get supplies is by human porters or mule. They accommodate to rain and provide good surfaces to the mules by building thousands of stairs made from rock hauled from the river; our porter weighed maybe 120 and demanded to take our bags. The first day was physically challenging but doable (thanks Kevin for implementing an 18 month squat plan). What took more work was swallowing my pride which weighs 1,000 tons, by letting someone carry my gear when I am capable. Utsab, our porter, had a great smile and was working on his English to become a guide. He strapped our bags together tied a rope around them and strapped the loop around his forehead and carried the 20 kg of gear for 4 hours, 4.4 miles and 1200 m of elevation the first day. I held onto to my pride and ego for 3/4 of the way before my parent’s word of the year...gratitude...came to mind. Gratitude isn’t only being thankful when people do things you cannot do. Gratitude is being thankful for things people do to help. Pride and ego keep true gratitude from forming because you want or feel like you need to do it yourself. Vulnerability, which brings connection, is hindered when we never let people know our struggles or only let people in when we can no longer handle some thing because these times are not very frequent. However, as people we all want to be noticed, needed and appreciated. I spent a lot of time while hiking thinking about how my relationships would be different if I let more people in on my daily struggles that I am capable of handling but chose to handle alone. Working on being more grateful Instead of being prideful, and being more connection driven instead of ego driven may be good goals for the new year. When I was able to be grateful Utsab had his job, training for his next and helping me on my journey, I was less concerned about what I could do myself, how I was making his life harder, and enjoyed my experience more and thereby felt 1,000 tons lighter

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