Understanding Mannequin Attachment Disorder (MAD): A Case Study from Malaysia's Muzim Negara

Asia » Malaysia
May 15th 2007

Published: August 8th 2007

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Occasionally Bob

Frolicking with the Butterflies among the Tea, Cameron Highlands

As I inhaled the rich aroma of fresh tea, butterflies and other airborne insects were sucked towards me.

Kuala Lumpur - Tanah Rata (Cameron Highlands)

One day in the far away kingdom of Malaysia, on the highest floor of Kuala Lumpur Tower, the Big Kuala of Kuala Lumpur city was discussing with his fellow Lumpur’s what to do with a plot of land and 500 mannequins that had been left abandoned when Topshop moved to its new store in the Petronas Towers.

“Well”, said the Big Kuala, “we’ve already got some very tall towers; so we don’t need any more of them, and we’ve already got several bars packed with half naked women, amorous tourists and happy hours throughout the day - so we can probably hold out for a while on that front. Anybody got any ideas?”

After some ludicrous suggestions that no sane capital city authority would dare entertain for fear of ridicule - “a giant dome”, “a sewerage museum”, “a massive Ferris wheel” (though this one they felt had some merit and was put on the backburner) - they finally agreed that what was needed in Kuala Lumpur was a way of storing their grandparents hand-me-downs whilst making cash from tourists. And so the National Museum was born.

With a fanfare of

The Science of Symmetry, Petronas Towers, Kuala Lumpur

Why build one really tall tower when you can build two? Currently the 2nd highest building(s) in the world, next year they will slip to 3rd.

trumpeting and a waxy stamping of approval, the idea was shunted from department to department before arriving in the in-tray of the kingdoms Tourist Board. (And as luck would have it, it landed right on top of the plan to complete the half built shopping centre that has squatted like a giant ugly toad on Tanah Rata town centre for years and which would have used up the Tourist Boards budget for several years. Tanah Rata will just have to go on looking like a cross between war torn Beirut and a hideously tacky Scottish tourist town for a few more years.)

Unfortunately, at the time the idea arrived, the Malaysian Tourist Board were all out of the office, leaving only a sign saying “Closed for a While”. This is not an unusual occurrence. It is, in fact, almost impossible to speak to the Tourist Board in Malaysia as they have dispersed like The Knights of the Round Table to the four corners of the kingdom in their Holy Grail-esque quest to cover every bus, bus-stop, train, house, lamppost, letter box, building, squirrel and sea urchin with stickers, flags and bunting announcing 2007 as the 50th Anniversary of the

Quakers big rivals in Kuala Lumpar

Like any porridge enthusiasts out there, I'm fairly open minded about what goes in my porridge - raisins, sultanas, nuts, syrup, honey, sugar, fruit - I like to try something new in my porridge. But sometimes you just have to draw the line.

Kingdom. Truly an epic undertaking, only to be matched - were it ever to happen - by the massive effort that would be required to remove said stickers, flags and bunting.

However, once the Knights of the Tourist Board had returned from their quest and had soothed their saddle sores with tiger balm and satisfied their appetites with Roti Boom and Masala Tosai, they got right on with the next thing in their in-tray.

The following extract is taken from the actual Business Plan submitted by the Tourist Board of Kuala Lumpur.

“Project Name: Muzim Negara (National Museum)
Location: Kuala Lumpur

Outline of Proposal: We had a quick ask round the office and it turns out quite a few folk here have been lumped with their dead grandparents clothing. Oxfam turned it down because no-one except Elton John wears stuff like that anymore, so we thought we’d stick up a display somewhere. Looking for a few million Ringit to build a place that will smell overpoweringly of paint and essentially be a large closet for dead peoples stuff.
Might jazz it all up with a few information boards, some mannequins in weird poses and the odd

All You Can Eat! Kuala Lumpur

Street stalls selling everything from Frog Porridge to Shark Fin Soup.

blow pipe.”

The following extract is taken from the actual history book used to mount the displays at the Muzim Negara:

“Once upon a time there were the Malays. They shot each other with blowpipes and spent most of their time squatting. Then the Chinese arrived to escape the cold. Then the Indians arrived and curry was invented. They all lived happily ever after.”

But one day a fresh faced whipper-snapper, with a sharp suit, a soft voice and a limited lifespan at the Tourist Board raised the points everyone had been fearing:
“Err… the mannequins are lovely and… odd… but this is supposed to be a National Museum. Aren’t we missing a few things? For example, what about the years of Dutch and especially British colonial rule? What about the Japanese invasion during the Second World War? What about the formation of territorial rights with Indonesia, Singapore and Borneo?… its’s just a thought…”

This didn’t go down well. There was much frowning, shaking of heads and fiddling with beards before the Big Kuala spoke:

“Feed him to the Deer”.

At this, several large women (who must have been imported because Malaysian women are

KL Tower from the Golden Triangle, Kuala Lumpur

tiny) dragged the hapless young fellow from his seat and carried him on their shoulders to the home of the Mouse Deer in the excellent and free Deer Park in the centre of Kuala Lumpur. The irony was of course that it was this bright young chap who had the bright idea of opening the Deer Park in the first place. Too bad that he now faced death at the tiny hooves and nibbling incisors of the very creatures he’d brought to the city.

But despite their unfortunate consequences, the young Lumpur’s words had struck a chord. The Museum needed something more. It needed a hook. What it needed the Big Kuala decided was a theme or two…

Puppets. Circumcision. Marriage.
Those three pillars of Malay society. The corner stones of Malay life.
They’d discussed it for hours - for days even - dismissing other equally worthy themes for which Malays were well known. Themes such as “Bus Touts with Attitude”, “Building Dangerous Pavements” and “Positioning Building Yards Outside Youth Hostel Bedroom Windows” - all traditional Malay - all dismissed.

And so, with a squiggle of signatures and a flutter of papers, a crack team of Muzim

View from Death Star, Kuala Lumpur

We stayed two nights aboard the Death Star in the Jedi Master Suite. This included breakfast and a complimentary Wookie sponge bath.

Display Artists was sent to make a Puppet, Marriage and Circumcision themed Muzim a reality.

Puppets, thought the confident Display Team, is an easy enough display to organise… though rather limited in its scope. The Malays only had one style of Puppet theatre and that was now fairly much limited to only one state in the kingdom. Improvisation and a small amount of culture borrowing was required. Thus the cunning Display team arranged a display that demonstrated how Malay Puppet theatre compared to Indian, Chinese, Thai, Khmer and even Javanese styles of puppetry. It truly was a remarkably dull and international display of Puppets - with each section titled with the country the puppet was from followed by the traditional South East Asian opening line “Same, same but different…”

All fine and dandy agreed the proud Display Team standing back from their massively mundane international Puppet theatre display - but the brief was to use up the mannequins.

The boxes of dead peoples clothes were emptied and mannequin torso’s, heads and limbs stock-piled. If you’ve ever tried putting together 500 mannequins, you’ll be aware just what a tricky business it is. Archaeologists dusting away the bones of

Yawn. Them again, Petronas Towers, Kuala Lumpur

You can probably tell that I liked these buildings. Very much. Very, very, much.

some prehistoric donkey-thing with a toothbrush have got it easy. Mannequin construction, dressing and positioning is an art unlike any other.

To make a scene believable a mannequin artist must become the mannequin. Give it a name. Give it a history. Feel for its personality. To give it life, an artist must express the mannequin’s deepest loves, fears, hopes and desires through the simple and often over looked medium of limb positioning. However, this close relationship between mannequin and artist can cause… attachment issues.

In the main it was those of the Display Team in the Weddings section that succumbed to the charms of a handsome Groom or sassy Bride; but there was the odd occasion when a Circumciser with a twinkle in his eye would lead a member of the display team astray.

Mannequin Attachment Disorder (MAD) is now a condition recognised by the International Window Display Institute of Malaysia who can advise those working with mannequins how to avoid unnecessary grief.

In some of the works currently on display the passion and care that was involved in creating some of these masterful scenes is self-evident. The Muzim has become a lasting testimony to the

Amusement Park inside a Shopping Centre! Times Square, Kuala Lumpur

Apparently this is the largest indoor amusement park in a shopping mall in the world or something... It includes two 5 Star hotels, a massive theme park, three cinemas, a bowling alley and virtually no customers. The place was like a ghost mall compared to some of its smaller - but more trendy - rivals.

skill of Malaysian mannequin dressers. Their madness knew no bounds.

Please peruse the small sample of fine mannequin work that I managed to capture in my digital lens. The captions are dedicated to the men and women of the display team who never made it.

Next time on Occasionally Bob…
Join the Occasionally Bob team as they sample the delights of Singapore before embarking on a 9 day voyage on the ocean waves from Singapore to Brisbane, Australia.
Will Freighter Ship travel be as cosy as it sounds? Will my new weapons against seasickness work? Find out next time…

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