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Published: January 8th 2013
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Preparations for a Buddhist wedding involve a lot of eating. In the days leading up to Ohn and Justin's wedding, friends and family members gathered at the family house to help prepare and party. The house is situated close to the road on about an acre of land, fenced in on the sides with the local 'barbed wire' of broken bottles set into the top of a concrete wall. Wrought iron gates and fence kept things in or out, depending on where they belonged. Between the house and the front fence, under a tin roof, an open air kitchen and dining area was kept constantly populated. Here, large quantities of meat, veggies and rice were prepared in large woks over clay wood-burning stoves by women of all ages; chatting and laughter always accompanied chopping and sizzling. Passing near the kitchen often drew questions like 'food? Eat?', followed by smiles and full bellies. The house consisted of a front part and a rear part. The front was a single story, the original house with a living room and a couple of small bedrooms. Attached to the back of the house was the newly constructed 2-story addition, generously added by Pa to house
the groom's visiting family and friends: four parents, four brothers and four friends. A second building was at the far end of the lot, a home for Ohn's grandma.
The days started with the crowing of roosters. While this is common in most parts of the world, at Pa's place it was extra special. He raised fighting cocks, and had a couple dozen who had no problem letting you know when it was 3 or 4 in the morning, or any time of day really. They were beautiful animals, tall and dark on long legs, each kept in its own wicker igloo, sans doorway. We missed fight day, but were told that it wasn't like the to-the-death one might expect, but served more for fun and betting. The roosters lived and didn't appear to be harmed, and there were no razor sharp spurs, etc. Also roaming the compound were a few ducks, some mamma hens with fluffy chicks in tow, guineahens and turkeys and an old happy dog. Not quite as free were a cow on a string (wedding food), a puppy on a string and a couple of ornate roosters, also on strings, tied by a
leg about head-height off the ground, with a few mounted branches for a roost and a small bowl of food. When inquired about, Pa explained that these roosters were kept isolated as they were hunting roosters. He would take them out in the bush (jungle) and let them loose. With their new-found freedom came lots of excitement and noise making. This helped draw out the local game birds, which quickly met their death by Pa's gun.
Breakfast started early and ended late, and consisted of sticky rice, fresh fish and/or noodle soup, laap (seasoned minced meat and greens), spicy papaya salad and fresh, strong coffee. Laos grows a considerable amount of good coffee, since it was introduced as an alternative cash crop to opium poppies after a crackdown in the mountainous Golden Triangle. Breakfast also often included Beerlao, the big local lager. Beerlao most commonly comes in a 22oz bottle, and is often taken down by the case. Glasses are handed out along with a shared ice bucket; ice is spooned into glasses and warm Beerlao tops it off. This also serves as a great way to stay hydrated while drinking; headaches and hangovers were experienced more often when chilled bottles were available, eliminating the need for ice. After breakfast was massage time, available next door for only 40,000 kip per hour. If you didn't want a massage you could Hang around the table with Pa and family and keep working on the Beerlao; eighty cases had been ordered and there was a lot of work to do. Lunch soon followed, and consisted of sticky rice, fresh fish and/or noodle soup, laap (seasoned minced meat and greens), spicy papaya salad and Beerlao. This transitioned to a relaxing game of catch (Justin and Ohn brought what is probably the largest collection of disc golf discs in Laos) and drinking Beerlao. Dinner followed, and consisted of sticky rice, fresh fish and/or noodle soup, laap (seasoned minced meat and greens), spicy papaya salad and Beerlao. Pork, chicken and lemongrass fish off the grill also joined dinner, and was as delicious as it sounds. The geckos joined us for dinner, hanging out by lights on the walls and ceilings, doing their part in controlling the insect population. A nice campfire in the yard came after, with the PA dragged out for an evening of drinking Beerlao, singing, guitar and drumming on a homemade drum kit. Then off to bed under a fan, and eventually roosters.
Wedding day brought a festive change to routine. The ceremony started with all of the groom's party, along with a number of Laosfolk family, following Justin up the road to the house, singing, clapping and making noise with improvised instruments. This was to help convince Ohn's family to let us through the gate, although I'm sure they didn't mind. At the front step we all removed our shoes, and one by one were offered a shot of Johnny Walker, Red Label, and invited inside. The bride and groom, in their very beautiful and sharp silk clothes, sat together before two tall flower arrangements, rising cones of woven banana leaf holding bright orange flowers, money, candles, incense and bamboo skewers draped with white string. Surrounding these were offerings of cooked meat, eggs, fruit, money, water and Beerlao. Next to the bride and groom were their respective parents, and opposite them past the offerings was the head of the village. Family and friends surrounded these people, all sitting or kneeling on the ground. A number of traditions followed, including blessings, family joining, asking forgiveness from parents and older siblings and praying. After the main ceremony all of the bamboo skewers with white strings were pulled from the flowers; family members went around on their knees, tying the strings around ours and others' wrists while saying prayers of good luck. Most of us received a dozen or so, the bride and groom with more than double that, along with one golden-orange one each. These were to be kept on for at least a few days, even better until they fell off. Two weeks found most of them still going strong. All of the ceremony held an aire of sacredness and very long-standing tradition, including the reading of the chicken jawbone, which was conducted very low-key and casual after the main ceremony, and maybe missed by most. More contemporary wedding photography wrapped up the living room ceremony, then Justin led Ohn to the bedroom, as per tradition. Afterwards everyone made their way outdoors to the party zone, where over a hundred family, friends and neighbors waited for the food, music and dancing to begin.
Pa had a few dozen tables along with pop-tents and a huge buffet catered for the festivities. We family and guests-of-honor sat at the tables near the front, our chairs adorned with cloth and a large ribbon, and dishes of food on the table, not needing to go wait in line. Every table also had its own bottles of water, soda and Beerlao ready to go, along with a nice bucket of ice. A huge sound system had been set up, and a rotation of singers sang to songs to music provided by a talented keyboardist. Traditional Laos dancing finds pairs of dancers making their way around in a circle, feeling the music with their hands, slow stepping around to the beat. As the party progressed, Justin and Ohn would make their way together around to the different tables, along with a bottle of Johnny Walker and two small gold rimmed glasses on a gold stand, offering a shot to whomever cared to partake. As the evening progressed folks gradually made their way home, the party becoming a casual hang out around tables, eating, laughing, karaoke, 'Hotel California' and Beerlao.
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Kevin, Sheila & Mason
non-member comment
What a great experience. That\\\'s what memories are made of.